#kimchikitty

Of all my childhood friends that moved to Los Angeles to mature into their twenty-something self—the vegan yogi/masseuse; the budding indie film actress; the Hare Krishna enthusiast; the urban city planner—the one person I have come to shamelessly envy is…Brian, also known as: the one with the famous cat.  

The said cat has thousands of instagram followers. Strangers have composed artwork in her image. And most importantly, the fame has resulted in the attainment of free stuff. Not sure what “free stuff” entails, but it sounds absolutely fancy.

And so the story goes, I spent the better part of last month projecting my aspirations for fame onto the little Shih Tzu, Baubles.

Phase 1 of the plan: Baubles becomes instafamous

Phase 2 of the plan: Sell Bauble calendars, t-shirts, and trinkets to the masses

Brian advised me to use the same hash tags that paved the way to fame for his cat: #weeklyfluff, #petsofinstagram, etc. The trick to gaining followers is to network: comment, follow similar accounts, and utilize hashtags.

Equipped with a foolproof plan and sound advice, I launched an instagram account for Baubles.

“My name is Baubles. I like trouble. Check my wobble. #baublewobbles”- @baublewobble

After a week of countless minutes spent thinking of captions, commenting in posts as though I were a shih tzu, and searching for relevant hashtags …9 low quality, highly filtered posts… culminating in a whopping fan base of 59 followers to date… all of whom, Baubles appreciates so much. Although the allure of “free stuff” remains steadfast, I have come to terms with my lack of the dedication to network or the skill to edit photos, nor do I have the adequate  amount of windows to allow for proper lighting.  And yet, I have not fully given up the pursuit of fame. Oh my dear Fame, you have proven to be anything other than instantaneous…

My 11 year-old nephew has offered to manage @baublewobble instagram account for a fee.

I am considering the offer.