#killuamen

The setting was a large ballroom and Gon hadn’t understood why. It just happened one way or another, as he was doing the things he had to do to become a hunter. For some reason, being here was a necessity. Leorio and Kurapika were beside him, fortunately. Apparently there wasn’t too much of a purpose for this. Simply a party, before the exam continued. But Gon had felt a little nervous… or well, “piripiri”, as he would call it, and he wasn’t sure why.

Naturally, all the participants of the exam were there, including a certain albino we all know well. He was dressed up in a soft purple, a feather on his hat as he wore boots that reached up to his knees. It was a little mysterious.

Gon had noticed him and Killua saw him as well. Their gazes reached out far across the ballroom as the music played gently, a waltz coming up. It didn’t take very long for them to notice each other’s presence.

Half a song passed and then a mutual action was born, two pair of feet slowly dragging themselves over the floor. Leorio had been confused, asking Gon where he was going, but the young boy didn’t answer. Kurapika probably noticed, as he didn’t protest. He trusted Gon and actually had to hold back his companion for a bit.

Killuas hands were in his pockets as he reached the middle of the ballroom, facing Gon. They were both children, same gender, same age; both here for this famous thing called the hunter exam and the party that came with it. Honestly, the white haired boy was just bored with everything, even this.

"You… How old are you?" Killua asked. He didn’t expect their ages to differ much. Perhaps Gon was even younger.

"Twelve," Gon answered, "what about you?"

"Huh… So we are the same age? I see."

A smile graced the raven haired’s lips. “Un! I’m Gon!” Introduction usually followed quickly.

"Killua" the albino said as he looked away slightly, "My name is Killua."

The two smiled at each other as they exchanged their names. Lights in the ballroom started flickering slowly before they dimmed, and the boys’ gazes had yet to leave each other’s faces.

"Maaan… this party is kind of boring" Killua sighed out, this time putting his hands behind his head. Gon blinked at him a little. He had figured it must be because they weren’t exactly doing what they were supposed to do at a party. They were just standing there.

"Wanna dance then?"

Killua blinked at the suggestion. It wasn’t something he expected of a person his own age, a boy nonetheless. Well, he did know of himself he was attractive, after all. Not like he could blame Gon or something.

"Sure" he nodded, putting his hands down by his side. He slowly watched Gon who outstretched his hand to him and he carefully took it in his own, fingers gently clasping around his. It had been a long time since he last touched someone warm like this. Had it always felt this comfortable?

"Oh" Gon suddenly called out, receiving a confused look from the other. He was going to ask what was up, but it wasn’t needed as the raven haired already explained himself. "I don’t know how to dance" he hesitantly laughed, rubbing the back of his own head.

"Baaaaaka!" the other responded, a little surprised; "I can’t believe you. Who would invite someone to dance when you can’t even do it."

"He.. he.. he…" Gon just laughed softly.

There fell another small silence, but during that, amber eyes never looked away; fixed on Killua’s beautiful blue eyes. It honestly made the albino a little embarrassed, enough for him to look to the side and then down.

"It’s fine" Killua finally muttered, his grasp on Gon’s hand still tight, "This is something different. I wanted something not boring and stuff. Yanno."

Gon didn’t quite understand. “Different?”

"Something I don’t usually do" Killua elaborated, until his voice fell away. Was he going to tell Gon the truth about himself? It wasn’t really needed. They had just met, after all. To tell the other wasn’t really needed and yet… Yet… 

"Like what?" Gon finally asked, moving a little to pretend he was dancing. He raised their hands and spun around a little underneath it. Killua almost had to laugh from that.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Un." Gon’s reply was short but clear.

"I am from an assassin family… so I am…" A pause. "I mean, I was an assassin. It was boring so I quit.”

"Eeeeh… That is amazing, Killua!"

"Hah?" The albino blinked. Did Gon really hear him right? He had just damn right admitted he had killed for a living and he was completely fine with it? There must have been a screw loose with the young boy. "You don’t get it, do you?"

"No, I do?" Gon stopped twirling and dancing by now. "Your family must be incredible, Killua, to be able to do that. You too."

A small blush crept on Killua’s face. “I-idiot. ” He had no idea why he stuttered just now. “Of course I’m amazing, but it’s no big deal for me.”

Gon nodded to show he understood. “Then let’s dance, okay?” He sway around his hand a little, still tightly holding onto Killua’s. They hadn’t let go of each other yet.

For the rest of the night they danced and talked a lot, sharing experiences and creating new ones. Killua met Leorio and Kurapika too, as well as the other people. The night was long but enjoyable. Perhaps, it was a fated night, with a clock that would sound at 12 and end all the magic. Maybe they were living a fairy tale for the night, just this one night. It would be nice.

This was perfect, but Killua had wondered if this truly was alright. Sapphire eyes didn’t leave Gon, Killua’s feet moving on their own as he kep thinking about it. He hadn’t the courage to voice his thoughts. Not yet, at least.

'Gon… is this really alright?’ Killua’s hand squeezed Gon’s. He felt a little tense thinking about it. 'Is this alright, even if I am the Puss in Boots?'

It was a question that would get answered in the future, when the prince had to save his locked away princess, and the Puss in Boots had struck once again.

Gon never was the one to openly express his sexuality, nor did he actually question it. Not once, not twice; never, really. It wasn’t one of the many things that really were of interest to the young boy. Did it really matter if he liked boys or girls? Nah. Love came in various shapes and what will happen, will happen. Gon was pro at dealing with things he had not planned.

Still, some people probably questioned it, and one of those people might have been C-ta. They were together today, doing the dishes in the kitchen. Gon had invited him over, just for fun. C-ta cooked dinner for them and Gon was doing the dishes alone until the brunet decided to help him out. Killua was lazing in the livingroom. He had bought the groceries and felt justified in doing so.

Amazingly enough, C-ta and Gon could get along quite well. Perhaps it was because of the few games they played together or maybe C-ta was drawn to Gon’s honesty and innocent spirit. Lake King knows why they could get along, they just did. It was probably because of the Santa stories.

Now C-ta might have felt bored, or awkward, maybe both, because he soon decided it was time for some small talk. Perhaps he was just curious. “Gon,” he swallowed, talking to 14-year-olds on a daily basis was not how he imagined his 17-year-old life; “looks like you and Killua really get along, huh?”

Gon wasn’t really surprised by that. Of course they did, Killua was his best friend after all. So naturally, the raven haired nodded and said yes with a smile. He figured C-ta only wanted confirmation or something of that sort.

"Like a friend?" C-ta asked.

"My best friend” Gon corrected.

A small silence fell upon that. Maybe C-ta was in thought. Gon started humming a little as he swayed around. Small phrases like “Guu! Guu! Guu!” were sung under his breath.

"Nothing more?" the brunet continued, he honestly had no idea what kind of answer he expected. It was just… that Gon and Killua reminded him of something. Something… well, not like it concerned him, really.

"More?"

"Things other than friend feelings. Romantically, maybe?" Perhaps C-ta shouldn’t have asked. Although if this helped Killua in some way, the albino should thank him somehow.

A pause, this time it came from Gon. It took a while before he spoke again. “I love Killua a lot” he finally said, carefully drying a plate. He looked pretty absorbed in it, as if he didn’t want to think much.

"That’s pretty honest of you" the older boy commented, a smile appearing on his face. It helped out a lot if you weren’t tsundere or anything like that.

"Hm?" Gon blinked a little. His head turned downwards in thought. "Oh… hm… Mito-san always told me to be honest, else people will have a harder time understanding you."

C-ta smiled at that. “I’m sure Killua will be thrilled if you told him.”

Gon eyed the other again, a smile on his face. “Don’t tell Killua, okay?” He asked, putting a finger against his own lips. “Shhh.” C-ta nodded in response.

- 

Lately, the desire had become more frequent.

Killua was always looking over Gon, whether he wanted it or not. By his side. He wanted to be close to him, forever and ever; or well, at least until death parted them. That sounded strangely obsessive and like a marriage vow.

Now the two boys were in the same room together. Older, but still childish as always. They had been playing games until midnight and Gon finally gave up on beating Killua. He was now sprawled out tiredly on his own bed, Killua watching him

"You're done playing already?" The albino asked.

"Hmn.." that was a sound of agreement, "it's late."

Gon could stay up if he really wanted, so maybe he was being a good boy or something was up. Who knew? Killua didn't. His gaze shifted to eye the raven haired. The other's form was beautiful as ever, even in a resting pose. Strong thin legs with a smooth texture, decorated with a small tan. They were great, not to mention his thighs. His thighs were almost endangering to Killua's existence, considering how many times he wanted to touch those and couldn't.

Shit, he really had to stop staring. For two reasons; one: because it was getting creepy, two: because it did things to him that weren't to be considered good things.  

"Do you want me to turn off the lights, Gon?"

"Please" he replied, his eyes closed by now.

Well, alright. That was the least Killua could do for his best friend. He slowly got up and moved over to the lightswitch. For a moment he waited, still glancing at Gon before actually turning off the lights. The room was now concealed in a large darknes. A... tempting darkness. He had to swallow as his eyes adjusted quickly.

The question that rose by now was whether Killua would go back to his own room or not. Not that Gon probably would mind if he didn't, but Killua neither wanted to go to his room, nor did he want to bother Gon. Both choices were rather conflicting in a sense.

So he finally gave up and slowly moved over to his best friend, sitting down beside him on the bed and slightly hovering over him. His lips parted for a second; "Oi, Gon" he mumbled.

"Hm? Killua?"

It was incredible how Gon could say his name. Soft and innocent, but still with such a vibrant sound of happiness. How he voiced it was different than how his own family did. Lighter, cheerful; not dark at all, and that did things to Killua sometimes.

"Don't go to sleep yet" he demanded, placing a hand beside Gon's head on the bed.The other opened his eyes halfway to look at him, but didn't reply. It only made Killua feel more nervous and tense.

"I want to do something" Killua finally said, only to receive a confused gaze back from Gon.

"Like what?" He asked.

A long silence. Gon always asked the questions Killua found hard to answer, because they were meant for him to get straight to the point. Not that Killua wanted that, he wanted to answer in a roundabout way and never show his true colours. Would he answer truthfully, then that would lead only to embarrassment.

"What I want to do?" Killua swallowed.

"Yeah." Gon's gaze never left the other's face. Now that Killua was so secretive, he wanted to know. He wanted to know and the other boy was going to tell him.

"I want..." Oh God, here it came. Killua took a moment to prepare himself and took a sharp breath. "I want to do you" he said quickly, his cheeks heating up immensely. He decided to look away, not daring to look the other in the eyes anymore.

What he didn't expect though, was to be pulled down. Gon's arms wrapped around his neck and to have the slightly older male breathe into his neck. It made Killua temporarily freeze up, his mind going crazy as it tried to process what was going on. Should he react this or go with the flow? All his thoughts were a mess, he couldn't think anymore.

"Not now" Gon finally whispered, his eyes closed again.

Killua stopped breathing for a moment. 'Not now' was most likely a procrastinated 'yes', albeit some would use it to permanently delay something they didn't want. But Gon wasn't like that, right? He was honest and simpleminded, so if he didn't want to, he would have said so. Most probably.

The albino swallowed. "What do you mean?"

A yawn escaped Gon's mouth. "I'm tired so let's play tomorrow." That was his only explanation and it left a lost of question marks with Killua. What did he mean with 'play'? Did Gon really understand what his best friend had meant? Agh, this was frustrating. Frustrating!

"Okay" Killua answered, still awkwardly trapped in a hug on top of Gon. Maybe he was meant to stay there or something, sleep even. Like Hell he knew.

Eventually he gave up and decided to get comfortable. His body resting beside Gon's, head lain against his chest. Their legs were entangled and curled around each other, as they tried to keep each other warm instead of using blankets.

This was bliss. No matter what the tomorrow that was to come would tell Killua, at least he had this small certainty. A small bliss he felt like he could enjoy. Being this close to Gon made his heart pound, but he had enjoyed it so much more than anything.

He was anxious and excited about the next day, yet didn't want this night to end. If only they could sleep together forever.

It was a long and dark night when Killua stayed over in Gon’s room. Both exhausted from the play date they had today. They were energetic like that; exploring the city of Toshi thoroughly and eventually returning back home, to play a game Killua had bought earlier that had seemed interesting. It was supposed to be the usual.

But that night, Killua never returned to his room.

Aggressively tapping the buttons to try and beat down Gon, What was this game called? Mortal Kombat? Something classic like that. Killua had tried to memorize a few techniques but Gon still beat him down sometimes by spamming the same moves over and over again. God, that was a little annoying, so Killua took revenge.

"FATALITY" the TV sounded, Gon jumping back a little in surprise. This was new to him, Killua already knew that. So he decided to finish off Gon’s character with something cool. Just to amuse Gon.

It had worked too. Gon, who rarely played video games, was phased in a way. Albeit that disappeared soon, his face looking a bit stunned from disappointment.

"Somehow…. this game is really gruesome."

Killua snorted at that. “What is that supposed to mean? Of course it it. Did you expect anything else?”

Gon looked over at Killua. “I don’t know, but Mario Kart was brighter.” He should have guessed it, really. That’s what he figured as well. The game art was really dark after all compared to the Mario francise. Any differences between those two series were obvious.

"Hah? Of course it is. Mario is for kids, kids. We are old enough for games like this." Killua held up the cover of the Mortal Kombat game to illustrate his point.

"We’re still kids though." Gon pouted, he never liked admitting he was one, but to Killua he supposed he could.

"Then let’s make a comparison." Killua began, Gon blinked a little; "Which one is scarier: this game or Hisoka?"

A silence full upon the room. Gon hesitantly answered it was the latter. Killua had thought that and put the game away with a shrug.

"I’m done playing this game" the albino finally said, getting up and walking over to the bed. He didn’t feel like doing anything anymore and dropped himself on the other’s bed.

Gon blinked at him. “Already? We just started playing.” He quietly moved over to sit beside his best friend on the bed.

"Yeah, the game gets boring if your friend is just a simpleminded button smasher" Killua deadpanned. A pout from Gon, but he soon let it go. It was true after all.

"So what now?" the ravenhaired questioned. Glazed blue irises shifted to glance at him.

"Dunno, maybe sleep."

"If Killua wants to sleep, he should go back to his own room."

"Nah. I’m fine here" he replied. 

Gon showed a troublesome expression to that. This was usual, but that didn’t mean it didn’t bother him a little. Not that it really mattered, but his own bed was small and pretty cramped with Killua.

"That’s so selfish. You have your own room."

"It’s fine, isn’t it?" Killua put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. "We’re both guys anyway."

A small whine. Gon gave up, It wasn’t like this was harmful, but it grew his curiosity. A wild fire within him wanted to know more. Why exactly? He wasn’t even sure. To be honest, he never thought about those things.

"I don’t understand. My room doesn’t have anything that yours doesn’t." The older boy showed a look of confusion. Killua looked at him again, contemplating if he should answer it seriously.

"Oh, it does. Don’t worry about it."

Gon’s curiosity was yet again raised, his gaze fixed on Killua. Now he really wanted to know. Even if the other wouldn’t tell him, he would want to know. It had sounded so mysterious.

"Then… what has my room that you want?"

A long silence. Aquamarine colored orbs focused on Gon again, intensely, serious. The quietness of these particular few seconds was almost suffocating.

"What I want? You really want to know that?"

Killua was met back with a serious expression. “Yeah,” Gon said, “tell me?” The tense atmosphere only became thicker.

"The thing I want…" the albino breathed out. Hesitantly, as to be careful not to break anything. This moment, their relationship; anything. Killua had treasured all those things. "…. is you.”

And that closed the deal. Killua had made clear what he wanted. This was it, this was his confession, and now it was up to Gon to decide what he wanted to do it. Ignore it, reject him; anything. He wasn’t privileged to be anything more than a friend to Gon anyway.

"Okay" Gon finally said, after a long moment of silence.

"— Hah?!" Killua shot up with an incredulous look. "Do you know what you just said?!"

"I said okay" Gon repeated.

"That’s beside the point!"

After that, they argued and fought, but mainly laughed. Soon even a pillow fight ensued and afterwards; they fell asleep next to each other in the same bed.

Gon who was glad Killua treasured him so much, and Killua relieved Gon had accepted it and said ‘okay’, despite not really knowing what his best friend had meant with.

Killua smiled a little at watching his best friend stuntling with the new alphabet he had to learn. Both Japanese and English were a little tricky, and Gon could read neither yet. Well, that was to be expected, they always communicated in Hunter.

"Nh.." a small whine came from Gon’s mouth as he furrowed his brows. Feeling troubled, he twisted his body a little to lie on his stomach instead; magazine held in one hand while the other dug at the floor in search of the alphabet cheat sheet he got from Killua. It had to be there somewhere.

"Having trouble, Gon?" To be honest, the white haired boy was amused.

"Yeah, but I can do this!" Stubborn like usual.

Killua didn’t take long to learn the new alphabets, but Gon insisted on trying to learn it himself for now. Well, whatever he wanted. They could always write each other notes in Hunter, so it didn’t bother him at all.

The albino’s gaze shifted to Gon’s legs again. Innocently sprawled over his own. Shit. Gon had such beautiful legs, strong and slim. This was getting a little weird. Weird and yet… Yet he actually liked this kind of setting?

His hand moved to Gon’s lower leg to lift it. With not much effort, he bent the other’s leg again. Straight, bent, straight, bent… It was amusing to see how far it could bend and how flexible Gon was. Maybe a little addicting.

"I see. Then keep up the good work" Killua finally said back, watching the other from the corner of his eyes. He was greeted back with a smile. It was hidden, but he still felt like he could see it from the side, Gon’s lips slightly curled up. Gon’s profile was beautiful in a sense too. 

Eyes were soon glued back to the legs. The fair colour and strong skin. Gon was a little tanned. Something that didn’t surprise Killua, after all Gon was from a rural place and always spent his time outside in nature. He was pale in comparison.

Slowly, his hand travelled over Gon’s leg. Bringing it up softly, fingers gently sliding over the skin. He temporarily stopped once he reached the backside of the other’s knee. A sneaky grin. Gon could almost sense it, but it was too late.

Killua started tickling it.

"W-wh— Ki— huah hurua!!" Gon shot up with laughter and pulled his leg away, only to be caught again by Killua. It was surely meant to be a playful gesture, but the world turned 180 degrees with that move; Gon being pressed on his back against the sofa, best friend hovering above him with his leg trapped in his hand.

His heart started pounding from this sudden sensation, Killua’s too. Louder than Gon’s even, as he was fully aware what he was doing to the boy underneath him. A critical moment.

The question was what he would do next. It could result in either the bad or and the good, and the funny thing was; he wasn’t able to distinguish either of those anymore. Not at this moment. His whole mind was a mess.

"Caught you," Killua finally breathed out, his gaze fixed on Gon, "you let your guard down."