#kiligs

December 5, 2017

Lying down in bed..

Juan put his ear in my tummy as if he heard little flash inside..

J: (whispering) sakin ka magmamana ha? Wag ka makikinig sa kanya

Me: wow ha? 😂😂😂

First, I want to lay out how it’s rare for me to like/have a crush on someone… I don’t know. They said I’m picky….

but don’t we all have preferred or ideal qualities we are looking for in someone that makes us like them or want them?

I’ve been single for a LONG TIME (9 years – well my first love was like one of those relationships you had when you were young.. so I guess I haven’t had the REAL Relationship yet.. like the one where you guys get to do a lot of amazing things together).

For someone like me who have learned to be independent over the years, it is important for me to find that someone who I can be proud of to say “he’s the one I’ve been waiting for. so worth of my wait”. I don’t mind waiting… but they say I also gotta do something to actually get what I want… 

like meeting new people… have the encourage to talk to the guy you like. 

I have mentioned my crush from previous posts.. and so let me break it down why I admire this guy..

First, I met him at a club for our mutual friend’s birthday. I already thought he’s cute..

My drunkass told our other friend that then he goes, “oh he’s single and career oriented.. and God centered guy”

Ofcourse, hearing that was already like “OMG!! What a cutie!”

2nd time seeing him was their Catholic community’s Assembly.. and there I saw how he’s a worship leader and he sings.. very active leader in their community. So ofcourse i got more <3_<3 seeing him like that.

Then I just see him every now and then. and every little moment I would feel giddy.. it’s that High school/Middle school type of feeling! :D :D :) hehehe well.. I told you, I rarely like someone! hahah

I recently decided to join their Catholic Community group..  (actually found out today how my dad is the current President of their Parish Priest Council) anyways, so I got to see him more cause of this..(FYI I didn't join their community for him but for myself, to renew my faith and build stronger relationship to God and Jesus. I didn't even know he'd be one of the leads till I got invited to the page. So yeah! Coincidence? Lols)

then I went to their Olympics.. That’s when I figured he is one of the main coordinator of the event. He was so busy, stressed out. Even though I was playing and watching other teams.. I was observing him from afar.. I found him more attractive during those times… I don’t know, i totally admired him more that time. And this is when I realized what type of guy I am looking for in the first place…

I remembered how I want that person to be like my dad.. there goes why I rarely like someone.. I want my future someone to have some of the qualities my dad has because I look up to my dad so much and he taught me how to choose a guy for me wisely.. And I remember I told myself that I want that person to be like my dad.. I strive to be who I am now cause I want to be like my dad in a lot of ways.. and I am hoping I would also find someone who is like my dad…

Seeing my crush like that reminded me of my dad.. idk if you can say I have fallen for him more, cause I still don’t know him well yet, I just observed.. and he also doesn’t know me well yet either..

But I am just happy to see that someone like him exists… when there are times I already felt hopeless that I wouldn’t find someone like my dad..

And I guess this is the reason why I have a huge crush on him cause most of the qualities I am looking for are in him.. :)

A lot of people have been telling me I have such high standards, i’m so “picky”

But what’s wrong with that?  I just want the best for me. I have worked for myself enough that he needs to be worth of my wait..but then again, they say.. how will I know if I don’t give others a chance…

They told me how I should at least start going on dates, like how this co-worker asked me on a date and give him a chance.. idk..

I feel like I also have to have some type of feeling in a certain way for that person…

In the past, I’ve had potentials.. there was one that could have been really my potential if I confessed my feelings.. (and he does remind me of my dad too.. he is hard-working and career oriented like me). But it didn’t work out.. I let it go. I always tend to keep my feelings, making me miss chances… but I know someday I will know the reason why it didn’t work out with anyone else. 

But all I can say is, Idk how I can get closer to crush. idk how I can shoot my shots. hahaha But I want to try…….

I know God has plans for me, and that’s actually the message I have today on my Daily Devo. 

“ You may make many plans but LORD’s plan will prevail” Proverbs 19:21