Summary: From mafia boss to a pro hero. Tsuna is pretty sure there's at least one big inside joke about the situation he's not privy to.

Alt. title: "Tsuna's Life Lessons"

Note: another reincarnation fic? Another reincarnation fic.

Warnings: Crack (Who Is Surprised?), Very Crack (I'm Talking Revenge-Levels Here), Written At Midnight, Finished In An Hour, *Insert Delirious Cackling*, Yet Another Reincarnation Fic, Prepare To Be Extremely Surprised, Someone Stop Giotto, Tsuna!Endeavor, Ryohei!All Might, Giotto!Shouto, Cozart!Izuku, G!Bakugou.

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR or BNHA.

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In his past life, Tsuna had learned many lessons, whether as a mafia boss for the most powerful mafia famiglia or as a civilian kid.

He still remembered them and lived by them.

Reincarnated into another world? Not the first 'other world' he'd been to, he'd manage.

He burst into flame when he was four? Been there, done that, didn't get the t-shirt.

(He didn't even remember that time. But he did clearly remember the other million times.)

People dropping into his life at age thirteen and dragging him off to lead some ambitious life? It was best to go with them before they shot you in the forehead and made you run around town in your boxers.

And that was the case when a Yagi Toshinori, whom he recognized easily as Sasagawa Ryohei, stormed into his life and excitedly pulled him by the arms to watch heroes.

And so Sawada Tsunayoshi, now Todoroki Enji, was dragged like a blank-faced ragdoll into the heroics business.

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Life lesson #4 said that friends should share ANYTHING with each other.

Toshi-nii (as he insisted Enji call him) shared his mentor, and his memories of his 'predecessor' (there was a long talk about Quirk transferring that day), Shimura Nana, with Enji. Enji was not surprised; 'anything' included people, and it happened quite a lot in their previous life.

Enji listened attentively to his friend and honorary big brother and went on with his day.

(Life lesson #4, addendum #1 declared that 'anything' didn't necessarily mean 'everything'.)

That night, he scoured through every file he could get his hands on, which was a lot, he was a former mafia boss trained by the World's Greatest Hitman; when he wanted to dig, he knew where to dig.

Eventually, he found Shimura Nana's son and his family.

She made Gran Torino and Toshi-nii promise not to get in contact with her child, but she didn't say anything about Enji promising the same.

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"Enji…" Toshi-nii, All Might, stared intently at him, "What do you mean your house burned down?"

"Oops?" Enji blinked innocently, "Such an unfortunate accident. Guess I need to find another place to live."

His next house was an apartment conveniently next door to one young Shimura Tenko and his parents.

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Life lesson #2 was hammered into his head early on: use your physical appearance to appeal to others, manipulate them, and make them do your bidding.

As Tsuna and as Enji, he was 'blessed' with a slender, youthful figure, with 'pretty' and 'cute' features, and the apparent inability to pack on a shit-ton of muscles. Hence, he was able to use his figure to reach his goals.

(All without shame. If his looks could stop people in their tracks and prevent them from creating mass destruction, then less paperwork for him. Win-win.)

A simple side pony tail with his red hair, and a bashful look from his blue eyes, coupled with a slight pout, and he could topple armies.

And the Shimuras were no armies.

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Speaking about being a 'pretty boy'…

Enji, Endeavor, finished off the villain with a flourish of his flames.

He restrained the villain and whirled around, his hair flying in the air, skirt swishing around his knees and heeled boots clacking, to be bombarded by questions and shouts from the press and adoring fans alike.

Only a third of them were interested in the villain's capture, the other two thirds were interested in the Flame Hero, the one officially declared 'The Most Beautiful Hero' by the media.

Endeavor was graceful in his acceptance of the compliments.

(What he didn't like about the situation were the echoes of Reborn's cackles in his head, as if there was some inside joke he wasn't privy to.)

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The first life lesson he learned, however, was to fucking roll with the punches. Even if they were delivered by apparent babies (especially if they were delivered by apparent babies).

That was Enji's first thought when he opened his door and found a baby on his doorstep.

He was 100% sure the whole universe was playing a prank on him.

He sighed and took in the baby, noting the dual colored hair (the right half was white while the left half was red, it was even split right in the middle! The universe was clearly bored and feeling creative) and the dual colored eyes observing him.

Enji stared back at the kid and pondered the situation. His life had played host to babies turning up at his doorstep many times before, be they adults trapped in the bodies of infants or actual infants. And the baby in his arms had that look in his eyes, the understanding, focused, aware stare of the adult-in-a-baby-body baby type.

Was he even a good choice for a parent? He was a pro hero and was out of the house for work most of the time.

Ah, well, at least lil Tenko-chan would get a friend.

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He named the baby Shouto.

Unlike his first impression, Shouto was a fucking hellion.

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"Shouto, I am disappointed in you."

"Is it because I'm wearing a dress?" Shouto pointed at the dress he wore.

"No. You and I both know the dress is yours, stop trying to change the topic. What did I say about putting ideas in Tenko-chan's head about tying All Might's bunny ears into a ribbon?"

"Not to do it?"

"Correct. And what did you do?"

"Put ideas in Tenko-chan's head about tying All Might's bunny ears into a ribbon."

"Exactly."

"Papa… you said you'd stop calling them bunny ears out loud."

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"Papa! I want to become a hero to create a world where my beloved can frolic around with bunnies without being afraid that someone is going to hurt him!" Shouto declared as he tugged his 'beloved' (a cute kid around Shouto's age with hair a fluffy mess, green eyes and freckles) close to his body.

While Enji pondered what to say in response to what his son just said, another kid stormed towards the three. He was around Shouto's and the fluffy cutie's age with spiky blond hair and sharp red eyes. The newcomer pulled the cutie from Shouto's grasp and tugged Shouto from his collar to pull him far away.

"We need to have words, Shouto."

"Aw, come on! You're no fun!"

Enji ignored his son and his son's apparent new friend to focus on the cutie.

The cutie smiled at him, "Hello, I'm Midoriya Izuku. Please call me Izuku."

"Todoroki Enji, Shouto's father."

The two shook hands.

"The angry one is Kacchan. Don't worry, he won't hurt Shouchan. That's how he shows he cares about Shouchan."

Enji looked from Izuku to 'Kacchan' and Shouto and back again before he made his mind: he was going to sign his son for some martial arts. Baby steps and all that.

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Years later, U.A, Sports Festival,

Todoroki Shouto stood atop the frozen robots, carrying Midoriya Izuku above his head in a fashion that looked as if he was presenting Izuku to the world.

"BEHOLD!" Shouto started before he was interrupted.

"YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD! ARE YOU STUPID?!" Bakugou Katsuki came flying at them, successfully freeing Izuku from Shouto's clutches and punching Shouto to the ground, "ARE YOU TRYING TO PAINT A FUCKING TARGET ON IZUKU'S BACK?!"

"What? NO!" Shouto screamed from near the robot's feet.

In the stands, Endeavor smirked, turned to the incredulous hero sitting next to him and said, "Those are my kids."

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well, that’s the BNHA manga bumped up in my ‘to-read’ list then.