#khfic

Hayner’s cute when he pouts but it also drives a hole through Seifer’s chest because more often than not these days he’s the reason for the curl of Hayner’s bottom lip, the crossing of his arms. Van tells him Hayner’s just being a whiny b-word only he used the actual word which always makes Seifer fume, because even when Hayner’s pissed he’s worth defending and it’s not Van’s place to talk about their relationship like that when he hasn’t even seen Ven in a month. Even if Seifer asks.

“Screw you,” Hayner says but his heart’s not in it. He flips onto his side, facing away from Seifer, staring at the wall.

Seifer knows it’s mostly about Demyx, but he reaches out to rub the taut muscles of Hayner’s back and asks, “Is this about Demyx?”

Still not looking at him, looking everywhere but him, Hayner rolls onto his back and shoves Seifer’s hand away. “Isn’t everything nowadays?” he snaps. “All I hear about is Demyx. Demyx this, Demyx that. You’re always on the phone with him. And don’t think I didn’t catch you texting him during the movie last night. You ain’t sly, Almasy.”

And usually when Hayner calls him by his surname it’s with a smirk and a soft punch to the shoulder but this time it’s like he’s disowning him.

Seifer deflates like a pricked balloon. He should be used to this by now. He should be used to the vines crawling up his throat.

He’s not.

“Well, did you ever stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, we were planning for a long road trip? What did you expect me to do, wing it?” He tried, he really tried to keep the poison from his lips but Hayner’s obstinance is wearing him down and he thinks maybe it’ll be good for us to be apart for three weeks and then he feels guilty and like he should apologize even though it was just a thought. Just a bitter bitter thought.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe not go with HIM? Seriously? You’re going to be stuck in a tiny car with your ex for three weeks. It’s like—“ and he stops because his voice is just a little bit shaky and Seifer knows he wants to tell him how he never thinks of him, never considers his feelings but also doesn’t quite believe it enough to say it.

“Babe,” Seifer says. His voice is lighter now. It’s a gamble, calling Hayner “babe” when he’s mad. It either calms him down or sends him into a blind rage and Seifer still doesn’t know what makes the difference. “Babe, I mean, you know I’d never do anything, right? He’s my friend. Don’t you trust me?”

“I wouldn’t even trust myself in that situation,” Hayner responds, and add that to the dartboard of knives protruding from Seifer’s chest. He wishes he could get inside Hayner’s thick skull and make him really believe, really understand that he really loves him so much he can barely breathe when they’re fighting and would never, ever choose someone else over him. Not in a million years.

But he can’t. So he just says, “Well, we’re different people,” and gets up to make breakfast.

—

They don’t talk until Demyx pulls up outside the apartment. And it’s not a natural, sleepy nothing-to-say silence either. In fact Seifer would almost prefer screaming, because then at least he’d know what Hayner was thinking. But he’s too proud to be the one who talks first, so he packs up the last of his things and when he can’t find his wallet he spends fifteen minutes searching for it instead of asking Hayner even though Hayner would be able to point and say “it’s there” and there’s where it would be and Demyx wouldn’t be revving his engine on an empty street at 7 am telling him to hurry up.

When he’s finally ready to go Hayner’s in the shower, so he figures he’ll just call him from the hotel tonight and in the meantime cross his fingers. The lump in his throat stays.

“Damn, looks like someone needs a coffee!” Demyx says cheerily. Too cheerily for an early morning.

“Cut me some slack,” Seifer mutters as he throws his suitcase in the trunk with more force than he intended. And then he slams it shut with more force than he intended.

“Oh, shit, you good man?”

Demyx’s upbeat demeanor falls away instantly as Seifer slides in beside him.

“Not really, but I will be. Let’s just go.”

Demyx starts the engine. “No Hayner this morning, then?”

“What?” Seifer asks, blinking.

“Oh, y’know. I just thought he’d like, come down and see you off or something...”

“Yeah, well. Guess he’s busy. Come on, we’re losing time.”

Demyx considers him for a moment, reading the frown on his face, his crossed arms, his sleep-logged eyes.

“If you’re sure, boss,” he says at last. One last chance. Seifer didn’t want to, wasn’t meaning to, but he looks back. He looks in the rearview mirror where it says in tiny white letters: OBJECTS IN MIRROR MAY BE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR. And Hayner’s standing on the steps to the apartment, not waving, not even smiling. Just standing. And fuck the mirror, fuck the tiny white text. He’s never been farther away.

Ah, Kairi. He laid his head back on the grass. How could he describe her? Her glowing eyes pierced deep into his soul. Her laugh warmed his heart on the darkest of days. Even when she was annoyed, she was adorable; she scrunched her nose and furrowed her brow. Sora needed to work on his distraction when that happened, unless he wanted her annoyance directed at him one day.

It would still be a few more days until he returned to Destiny Islands and Kairi. Until then, he was staying at the Land of Departure with his brothers as a favor to Aqua. She, Terra, and Riku were with the King and Master Yen Sid on “official business”. He counted down the days.

Sora felt the thumps on the ground next to him. One on each side.

“What are you mooning about now?” Roxas groaned.

Ven reached over Sora to smack him. “Not what. Whooo?” He drew out. “He’s obviously thinking about Kairi again.”

He and Roxas laughed, and Sora felt the blush creep up his neck. He shot up quickly. “You don’t understand what’s happening.”

Roxas rose up on his elbow. “Try me.” He had his own share of romantic problems right now.

Sora jumped up and began pacing. “It’s just that… Well… Kairi and I haven’t…kissed.”

His brothers popped up like daisies. “No way!” They shouted simultaneously. Sora would have been annoyed at their incredulity if not for the loud howl that escaped one of the castle windows.

Before he realized it, a dark portal appeared and out came Vanitas, shaking his head and cackling. “You’ve got to be kidding me! You shared a paopu with her. Isn’t that more intimate than smacking lips?” The blush that started on his neck went up to Sora’s ears now.

“As much as I hate to say it, and you know I do, Vanitas has a point. Is there a reason it hasn’t happened yet?” Ventus asked calmly. If the difference between him and Vanitas was not physically enough, their personalities did the job.

“Circumstances. I’d like to believe that. There are so many times that would have been perfect.” He dropped his head in hands.

Roxas placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, there’s no time line for this. No need to rush.”

“I want it to be memorable,” he said firmly. He glanced at his brothers. “Any suggestions?”

“Take her to Disney Castle and kiss her under the fireworks,” Ventus offered. He pulled Sora toward him. “Dance with Kairi in the moonlight and twirl her around.” With a spin, he flung him out and Roxas caught him.

“Plan for a dinner at Le Grand Bistrot. We can serenade her for you as you steal a kiss in the candlelight.” Roxas prepared to dip him when Vanitas grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him away.

“Ugh, you two are useless. Shut up,” Vanitas directed to the blonds. He turned Sora to face him straight on. “Here’s a few facts for you. Kairi is crazy about you. You are crazy about her. You’ve been to the ends of the universe for each other. She. Chose. You. Not a perfect moment or event to remember. Kairi is here for the good and the bad. Even if your first kiss isn’t special, it doesn’t matter. Being with someone isn’t one special moment. It’s sharing all of them.”

The tears welled up in his eyes as Sora suddenly hugged him. “Thanks Vani.”

Vanitas groaned and begrudgingly returned it. “Just don’t call me that, and we’re even.” He groaned again when Roxas and Ven joined in on the hug.

When they broke apart a few moments later, Roxas posed an important question. “How do you know so much about relationships anyway?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, pipsqueak?” He sneered, turning away.

As the boys began arguing once more, Sora sneaked away to his Gummi. Sorry Aqua, he thought, but I need to go see a special lady.

—

He sent her the message as soon as he returned. Now leaning against the wall of the Secret Place, he waited. He heard her footsteps echo through the narrow cave opening. Sora took in her sight, and always, was in awe by her.

“Sora!” She called out, running into the open space. “Is everything okay? You weren’t due back for a few days.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” he said, taking her hand. “Do you know how much I hate this cave?” He asked quietly.

Kairi shook her head. “Why do you hate it?” He saw her glance at their picture in the corner.

He sighed. “You probably don’t remember, but it was right here that I saw your body disappear in front of me. I thought you were gone.” His voice cracked on that final word.

She cupped his face in her hands. “But I am right here. See?”

He couldn’t help but smile at her earnest face. “Still, with your permission, I’d like to make a new, better memory here.” He took her hands and tugged her close. With a deep breath, in, out, and in, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Kairi gasped a little laugh and sobered. “Yes,” she breathed. He closed the short distance between them and gently placed his lips on hers. She met him back with full force. (Was it just him, or was there the scent of paopu in the air?)

After a few moments, he pulled away, and she grinned. “I’ve been waiting for that.”

Sora pouted. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Kairi raised a hand in mock offense. “The paopu was my idea. I expected you to initiate something in our relationship,” she said with a smirk.

It was his turn to grin. “I didn’t realize we had given it a title.”

Now she tugged him close by the collar of his shirt. “We don’t need titles. I promised to be a part of your life. No.” She kissed him once. “Matter.” Twice. “What.” Three times.

“Be mine,” Sora sighed and melted into one more kiss.

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