#khayon

Ask him if he’s selling cookies.

If he is not to turn inside out.

Unless it is that little bitch boy Khayon…

In which case bring him to me so I can turn him inside out…

-It's first person narrative. ADB pulls off the format well, however it also means we are stuck seeing and hearing everything through Khayon's perspective

-I do not like Khayon as a person. I do not like his personality.

Now this would usually be fine; I enjoy shitty, annoying, etc people all the time, my two favorite Primarchs are Lorgar and Curze. A character being likable isn't the priority for me, being interesting is. But Khayon is just so painfully self-serious. He speaks as though every thought in his head carries this immense gravity, that every word and sentiment is profound, he's constantly mythologizing himself/everyone around him and it's the most off-putting, tedious shit imaginable. Even when we get a side character knocking out witty rejoinders, it's tainted because we're experiencing it through Khayon's perspective.

And the thing is, him being a tiresome blowhard wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't a first person perspective. You can have that kind of guy in your ensemble, that can be interesting, you can even play it for laughs. But we're STUCK IN HIS HEAD, WITH HIM, DOING MELANCHOLY PONTIFICATING AT US. We never get a break from his bullshit.

Just "I felt the oppressive burden of responsibility weigh heavy on my soul, but I took comfort in knowing my lord Abaddon--my brother, not in blood but in fellowship--would do everything in his power to help me shoulder our legion's onus. He believes in more than revenge, he believes in brotherhood--", like oh my god enough. Khayon. Khayon, you gotta stop. Enough.

This is perhaps the most fevered thing I've ever thought up but we have covid to thank for that.

This is also such a painfully specific vibe I'm so so sorry