#kfs update

Holi has come with colors in Bengal. Red, blue, green, yellow, everyone was colored by various hues. But Devi who was quite restless till dawn, waiting for the time to go Kalighat on this auspicious day, well probably not for the temple service which has barely been habit, has rather a darker aura over her face since the morning. Whereas the seer quite busy with his customeries, not giving much attention to restless gazes from the one whose sleepless night went by the toughts of the man who she wanted to put "abeer" on before anyone else. But only the seer knew how much he longed to meet her. To steal a moment only to be with her. But his responsibilities and role as a seer was too heavy to neglect. Hence he could only patiently wait till all the rituals are done, so he could be with the woman he's dying to see. Devi can't be blamed though. The young ladies of dozens were now eligible for marriage. And it was clear on whom their eyes might be darting. The most eligible, handsome younger Doobay is someone to be swoon over. Ladies on this occasion seems quite busy to put abeer on him. "Might be seeking a way to touch his toned body?" Devi is thinking too hard and pinning herself to her own thoughts. Ram who was trying to avoid the crowd of these beautiful ladies hovering over him and steal a chance to talk to Miss Sharma, his all efforts went in vain again and again. All he earned in return was the piercing glare of the mighty Deviya Sharma — a woman whose rage, it was said, could kill with just One. Single. Glance.

----

In the evening when the chaos and colors are deemed down, Ram was in his quarters tired of the overwhelming day, still could not figure out what might have enraged the mighty Sharma. His all efforts to steal one moment, to steal her from the rest of the world, is all gone vain. So and so, Miss Sharma did not even care to look at his glances. Rather avoided every possible chances to meet him. Trail of thoughts broken by the creaking sound of the door.

"Devi..."

"Why Mr. Doobay, I guess you were expecting someone else?" Devi hissed.

"Anyone else aren't daring enough to barge into my room like that" , a smirk played on Ram's lips. Deep inside the seer having his heart dancing upon seeing the woman whom he eagerly tried to talk all day long. His eyes fell on her sari. White, as soft as petals lingering to her thin body. Ram who had his eyes locked in hers, took a long breath seeing her adornments. To his eyes, she was shimmering like moon itself. Oh Kaali Maa! How could the Brahmin even keep himself sane like this.

Brahmin could not dare to take another step. Devi tiptoed towards him "You've been quite busy today. Being cheeky with your admirers." Devi had a taunting tone while wording the last sentence. Ram took the cue and fully understood what might have agitated his Precious Miss. He smiled seeing her burning with jealousy just by the sight of any other women around him, talking to him, teasing or touching him in the name of so called applying abeer.

"I did tried to get a grip of a certain someone. But she was too engrossed in envious thoughts, barely gave me a chance to come near her. What a man can even do, if left alone amongst the drooling eyes of ladies like that?" Ram's words only fueled her already fumed jealousy. Not only he teased her about being jealous, he's not even feeling guilty to leave her pinning alone just like that. Devi could not let him so easily. Her jealousy has now taken a different form. She knew that this man is only hers. If she could, she would've make sure every one in this Bengal would know that. So no other woman or man could near him. If she could, she would have kept him all to herself. But as of now, all she wanted is to let that man know, what she truly feels, although he could see through her eyes.

"Why were you looking for me?" She asked.

"Why do you think, Raksashi?" He whispered coming near to her.

Devi didn't say anything. She brought out thaali filled with colors. She took Ram's hand on hers and put it on the thaali, then directed his hand filled with color on her cheeks. Devi closed her eyes giving into the touch oh his warm hand, which she holded and slided his hand towards her neck. Then she took his other hand, repeating the gesture on the other side of her face, marking herself with him. Devi slightly opened her eyes, which are now darkened with desire. To make this man fully hers, to embrace him, to love him, take his name as her heart wants. Engrossed in thoughts Devi holded his hand close to her cheek and rubbed her face on his palm. Ram heaved in her touch. Completely forgot their surroundings, his concerns are now getting blurry. All he could see is her, his Devi, his only love, the one he die for, he could kill for, even fight with the deity or the fate they had to face.

«Ang laga de re . Mohe rang laga de re»

«Main to teri joganiya, Tu jog laga de re»

Devi came closer to Ram, slided her hand into his nape, caressing his face with her thumb softly and pulled him towards her. She rubbed her cheeks onto his, marking him with the same abeer. Ram closed his eyes, savoring her touch.

«Ram ratan dhan

Lagan magan man

Tan mora chandan re»

His hand instinctively found her waist, sliding beneath the folds of her sari.

«Raat banjar si hai, Kaale khanjar si hai»

«Tere seene ki lau mere andar bhi hai»

Devi didn’t flinch — she only drew him closer, as if trying to erase the distance between them completely. They stayed that way, wrapped in each other, lost in the moment — intoxicated by silence and their touch. Devi tore herself apart from him and took a step behind, thumping her palm on the abeer and scooped fistful of it, then pulled Ram closer holding his wrist. She took a lingering glance at him — her eyes flicking over his face, his chest — and bit her lower lip as a thought seemed to spark in her mind. Ram who is too lost in every movements of her, only kept watching her. She put all the abeer on her fist and smear it on Ram's chest which wasn't covered as he took of the Puja's shawl a while ago. Devi came closer to Ram and engulfed one of her hands around his neck, another around his torso, She held him tightly, molding her body to his, her head resting near his shoulder, her frame sliding gently against his. Ram who was silently letting her so whatever she wanted to do, stunned by her boldness yet unable to resist, held her firmly by the waist — grounding them both in a moment that neither wanted to end.

«Tu hawa de isey, Toh mera tann jale»

Devi's white sari is now colored in Red , same as the color of love, and color of oozing blood which too carries the name of Ram of through her body, just like her soul which is only whispering his name to her. Now they both are colored by each other's colors, just as their souls were dissolved into each other.

Ram cupped her face in his hands, looking at her as if she were something divine and fragile. His brows furrowed slightly as his gaze met hers — intense, searching.He swallowed hard, caught in the depths of her eyes.

His eyes roamed around her face, his fingers gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her face and kissed her temple- Soft and slow. As if he is afraid, he might hurt her if loved her too hard, loved her too deep. Both did not speak at all. Just stayed in each other's embrace, wrapped in silence, lost in each other's touch.

«Jala de re sang jala de re»

«Mohey ang laga de re»

Devi looked at Ram, completely lost in him.Her hand moved on its own, gently cupping his face, her thumb tracing his skin with tenderness. Ram could see through her. He knew just by looking at her eyes, what she wanted, what she needed. This time too, Ram was sure, the only thing Devi most ardently needed was only Him. Her Ram. Ram too only needed her. So religiously, so farvently, these emotions maddened him to keep any distance any more.

Devi pushed him to his bed which made Ram plop on it. She made him sit and then sat on his lap. Ram took her thighs and let her sit properly. Those eyes which only shows her reflection, the freckles and those lips, the loose strands falling on his cheeks. Everything, everything about him only makes her heart fume with a strange yet soft emotion. She could keep looking at her man and admire just as she wants. Devi's hand went behind his head and untied his bun making his hair softly flowing above his neck. God, she thought, he looks divine like this.

As if the gods themselves had taken their time sculpting him, shaping him with the most delicate care.

And he — all of him — belonged to her.

Only her.

Devi blushed at her own thoughts, taking her time to soak in every detail of him. It wasn't lustful eyes, Devi has long gone from that phase. Her love for this man had reached the point where she could only worship him.

Not just love — but devotion.

«Main toh teri joganiya»

«Tu jog laga de re»

She could bow to him, not because he demanded it, but because her soul recognized his.

For who he was — the one who would kill for her, the one who would erase his own existence just to keep her alive. Her eyes fell on his nose snd touched the "nath" adorning his nose and took it off carefully, her fingers played around his cheeks for a moment. Then she leaned in to kiss him.

-his forehead

-his eyes

-his cheeks,

And all over his faces. Soft lingering kisses. Like blessings, like prayers. Ram's grip on her waist tightened to her touch and pulled her even closer, completely taken — letting her do everything and anything she wanted to do to him. He smiled looking at her - full of awe. Dear lord! He thought, How could I even deserve her!

She then moved her head and took a look of his face, then looked at his lips. Her thumb traced his lower lips, made Ram quiver. He looked at her mouth and then her. She closed the gap between them and kissed him.

Nibbling his lips then open her mouth to play with his tongue. Ram who let Devi took the lead till now, had to give in and his one hand slid up from her waist took her by her nape to guide her. Their mouth danced on their rhythm. Both were too lost in desire till they went breathless. Devi tore apart her swollen lips from his — inhaled — then leaning again kiss him softly, as too restless to leave him, yet.

Ram held her by shoulder and moved her back slightly. His hand reached her cheeks and softly caressed her. He made her sit beside him and took of the jewelries one by one. She didn't wear much anyway. The soft silk and some simple silver jewelry around her neck and earrings were her only adornments. Ram then went down, took her feet on his thigh and took of the anklets too. His touched her feet and carassed them as some devine flower. He removed her anklet and kissed there, making her feet curl from his soft touch. His hand roamed over her legs to her upper thighs. Devi shuddered to his touch. Ram smiled on her reaction and got up to sit beside her. He took her hands in his, fingers brushing softly against her skin, as if asking for permission. Devi met his gaze and gave a small nod. Ram's hand went to the back of her shoulder and untied the knot of her blouse which was a piece of cloth secured around her chest, tied with a knot. Once he untied it, she was only covered with her thin layer of her silk saree, accentuating her figure. Devi wasn't ready to easily give in. She came to take what hers. A smirk played on her lips. Without warning she brought her untied cloth to his eyes and folded them. To which Ram protested, but she kept her finger on his lips and shushed him. Devi leaned in, her hand sliding behind his neck, and her lips brushed along his jawline. Then down to his throat. Ram let out a breath, feeling her touch and leaned his head back as she drew her lips on him.

Devi's mind buzzed. She needed him madly, she sighed on her thoughts and bit his neck, which she nibbled and licked then smoothed his skin with kisses. Ram groaned, his hands reaching for her, but letting her lead. Her kisses moved to the other side of his neck, soft and possessive. Devi's soft lips had maddened him to loose his patience.

«Jog laga de re, Prem ka rog laga de re»

«Main toh teri joganiya, Tu jog laga de re»

He gripped her tightly, holding her nape by one hand he made his way to her neck. Trail of kissed fallen over her neck, then to her throat till her collarbone. Ram knew very well where his touches give her the pleasures and kissed those places and biting them to leave his "familiar marks" and again kissed them to soothe the pain. He bit down softly, then kissed over the sting to soothe it. Devi gasped, her lips let out his name — broken, breathy, desperate. It was the only name she knew. And to him, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He never liked his name before as much, until called by her. He would die to hear them again and again... And again!

Ram then took off the cloth from his eyes and looked at her, who averted her eyes from him, then turned her body clutching a lotus that fell on the bed from her loosened braids. The bold and daring Devi felt a rush of blood in her. Ram watched her quietly. He could feel the weight of her emotions very well and smiled softly. He gently kept him hand over her grip, resting his cheek against the back of her head. As he's reassuring her. He'll go through the path however she likes. At her pace, on her terms.

And Devi knew. Devi knew very well that he'll wait for her as long as it takes. Till the very end. She relaxed her body, leaning back against his chest as he held her close. Her back was touching his heart and felt the beating rythm of his chest. Which was beating just as hers.

Devi turned to face him locking her eyes with him. At this moment nothing could be averted anymore.

Devi— who has already given her soul to him. And Ram— whose only reason to breath was the woman right in front of his eyes.

For them, this Samasara, this Maya had no meaning left anymore.

There was only Ram,

There was only Devi.

“Ram ratan dhan

Lagan magan man

Tan mora chandan re”

Devi could tell the shift in the silence immediately as Vidya Basu walked past her in the corridors of the Basu estate without even acknowledging her presence. The silence continued at the Dozen meeting as the older woman refused to say anything the entire evening.

But devi knew one thing, silence from the lioness was not acceptance. It was a warning.

*********

“Maharani Vidya requests your presence in the main court.”

Requests. As though the matriarch of the Basu house had ever requested anything in her life.

Devi made her way past the stone lions into the quiet court where the older woman sat—her posture perfect, her expression unreadable.

But Devi stopped short.

Saraswati was there too, leaning idly against a carved pillar, lavender silk spilling off one shoulder as her jewellery gleamed in the slanting rays of the sun. Radha sat opposite their mother, stiff just like the deep purple fabric wrapped around her and unsmiling, her face like water frozen mid-pour. She looked different, almost hollow, her saree pulled at her stomach.

Devi hesitated. All three Basu women together. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

Devi bowed, softly. “You asked for me."

“Sit.”

It was not an invitation.

Devi sat.

Vidya inhaled through her nose, long and sharp. “I have said nothing for days. Not when you smiled too sweetly. Not when you stayed behind in the temple hall. Not when you looked at Ram like you wanted to devour him like mango in high summer.”

Devi flushed, jaw tightening.

“And now,” Vidya continued, her voice rising just slightly, “I hear from not one but three housekeepers that you were missing for an entire hour last night, with Ram nowhere to be found either. Do you think the goddess is blind? Do you think I am ?

Devi winced slightly, she knew it had been too far fetched someone would surely notice but how could she explain the way risk melted into nothingness when his arms wrapped around her, held her, when he smiled so unreservedly at her and the way they had laughed into the night.

You wear your heart on your face,” Vidya continued. “Like a girl. Not a woman of the Dozen.”

Devi exhaled, steady. “ I refuse to treat love like a sin.”

“Love isn’t the sin,” Vidya said coldly. “Indulgence is.”

Now her eyes shifted — and pinned Devi in place. “And foolishness.”

Devi said nothing. Her fingers curled into the folds of her burgundy saree.

Saraswati tried to rescue her and began slowly, a whisper, under her breath. “Ma—”

“Quiet.” Vidya sternly cut her off with a glare that could set one on fire. “You’ll have your turn.”

Saraswatis expression soured, something gleaming in her eyes darkly. Radha said nothing. But she looked at Devi, and there was no judgment in her eyes, maybe a little hurt that she was finding out like this and a strange kind of pity.

Vidya stood now, pacing. “I used to think I had raised my daughters with sense and rational. With pride and status. With understanding of duty. And now—” she turned on her heel, pallu rustling— “all the girls have gone mad. Fawning over Doobay men no less."

She pointed, one by one.

“Radha, who fell in love with a man she could never have—”

“Don’t.” Radha’s voice was low, but firm. “Don’t say his name.”

“—and look where it got you,” Vidya said, turning to Saraswati. “And you, dreaming your life away in poems and pretending you’re immune to the rules the rest of us live by.”

Saraswati rolled her eyes. “And still the world turns.”

“And now you.” Vidya turned to Devi. “I held out some hope that at least you would protect what’s left of your family name. But no. You're moon-eyed over Ram Doobay like a palace maid sneaking sweets in the storehouse. And worse—he returns it.”

Devi stood her ground. “We love each other.”

Vidya's eyes burned. “So did Radha. Do you know what that bought her? Secrets. Scrutiny. And sacrifice.”

“You see the world in ideals,” Vidya said after a pause, quieter now. “I see it in consequences.”

“I see consequences too, just different ones, personal ones." Devi whispered almost inaudible. And Vidya chose to ignore it.

“I know you think I am cruel. And perhaps I am. But I have carried the weight of this house on my back longer than you’ve been alive. I buried my husband. I buried half my heart. I watched the council nearly tear us apart, and I stitched us back with blood and bone and silence.”

She turned to Devi, gaze sharp again. “If you marry Ram, do not think love will be enough. You will bear more than your own burden. Ram is the Seer. He cannot marry lightly.You will become the mother of his heirs. The keeper of the Dozen’s most sacred bloodline. You will be envied. You will be watched. And worst of all—you will lose your family name. The one you fought so hard for. You are not the path chosen for him.”

Devi’s hands trembled. But she lifted her chin forcing herself to look her in the eye.

“ I want him. When he’s tired. When he’s foolish. When he’s not the Seer, just a man who forgets where he put his shawl or fluters his eyelids when he’s serving her mother. That’s who I love.”

Vidya’s eyes narrowed. But there was no rebuke this time. Not approval. Not softness. But a flicker of memory. Of being young. Of loving a man who died for a cause, not knowing he’d leave her to clean up the wreckage.

She rose. For a long moment, Vidya looked at her daughters—one forged in fire, one in wildflower wind—and the third, not hers by birth, but perhaps by fate. Then she exhaled, long and slow.

“If you fail—”

“I won’t.”

“Then may the goddess grant you strength. You will need it.”

And with that, she swept from the away like the thundercloud she had always been—leaving behind three women, now joined in the quiet revolution of loving too hard in a world that punished softness.

Devi's blood boiled as she scowled at the scene in front of her.

She thought to herself "Why did I ever decide to attend the services." She knew the answer to that was Rita Shiva's taunt of her old habits but atleast she had been spared of this visual.

The visual of women clawing desperately at her Ram. Okay that was a little dramatic,even in her opinion but it was true.

The Younger Doobay heir, unmarried and yet to choose his wife was the best possible match for any girl in the dozen. Not only the status but also the fact that he was, in her estimation simply breathtaking.

She had missed seeing him like this,in his element, back at the altar leading them in prayer. His hair flowed free today, his dark burgundy and black robes sitting against his tall lean athletic body as red gemstones glinted on his fingers on which he wore the family rings. But most of all he seemed completely nonchalant and unbothered, drawing her in. Not only her but all the other women,she scoffed at herself noticing them all around him.

They flocked to get a word in but cowered under his piercing mismatched gaze, their words tumbling in haste in an attempt to make unnecessary conversation. They stared dreamily at him, probably making up some intimate fantasies in their mind. The thought sent Devi's irritation through the roof.

Even the devdasis scampered behind, making sure all his needs were met, preparing everything in his personal chambers for his arrival and that no want remained.

She watched with venom as one of the banerjee girls took the liberty of gently touching his arm which he completely ignored.

"How dare she." Devi mused. Worst of all, she could do nothing about it all, she must stand away, being polite and indifferent. Instead she must deal with this 'Sharma de Clare' nonsense.

She wished to scream on top of her lungs.. I'm not married to him I never was I don't ever want to be. But she could not. Oh how she wishef to be held in her lover's warm embrace, feel his closeness and his lips. She danced through her memories of their moments together suddenly hit by the crude reality.. could they ever even be together?

No they must for she couldn't imagine any other reality than one with him. How could she give up the man she so adored and cherished, who brought her peace and insight,listened to her but never judged. He was the calm in all the chaos but he stirred chaos in her heart.

Sara looked at her inquisitively with a slight smirk of understanding.

" You're practically green with envy. "

"Am not." Devi reported childishly, causing both the girls to break into a smile at the absurdity of the situation.

Once the service was over all the members left one by one while she remained behind making up some excuse or the other. She knew them all by heart now besides she missed his company. They had hardly had any opportunity to meet given her new status, secret meetings and figuring out what Anil had been plotting in her absence.

She eyes a devdasis carrying some kind of drink to his rooms and impulsively swept in to block her.

" give it to me, I'll take it. I need to talk to him anyways." She lamely explained , all but snatching the cup and continuing to walk.

She opened the door gently and was instantly enveloped in his characteristic ylang ylang scent.

"devi? What are you doing here?" He questioned turning to the sound of the door opening.

"why? Did you not want to see me? Or were you expecting someone else?" She snapped, her previously subdued irrational anger once again spilling over at his genuine comment. She knew it was foolish,she knew she could trust him to never hurt her, she knew all of those things and yet.

He simply raised an eyebrow, his eyes slightly widening his expression remained serene as he walked over to take the cup from her hand and set it on the table.

" I was simply surprised by your presence which is always welcome..you know that." He stated looking at her with reverence in his gaze.

She simply let go, sighing softly and wrapping her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder as he gently ran his fingers over her hair and adorned braid.

"Ram?"

"hm?"

" I'm really tired." She whispered and he knew what she meant.

"What if it doesn't work out and they send me back to England....with him."

She looked at him with fearful eyes, her gut clenching at the thought. His breath slightly hitched his arms around her tightening before he replied.

" With the way you are so shamelessly acting these days around me, i doubt anyone would protest if the Lord decided to leave you behind. Also,I must say fury becomes you." Then more seriously he continued. " The truth is there for all to see, just the same whether they choose to really look it is for them to decide."

She laughed through her threatening tears that were ready to spill but questioned him.

"What if they choose to dismiss it?"

"Then we must choose to dismiss them."

It was unusual to hear such rebellious words from either of them but even now a lotus bloomed through the muddy swamp of their present, prevailing. A lotus worthy to be offered to the goddess and such was it's radiance that even she smiled through the flames.

*********