#kev x reader

I feel terrible, sunlight's hurting my eyes So I pull the shades and I make my place as black as night I feel miserable and I'm missing you and me Another Sunday morning all alone underneath these sheets

No, I'm not hungover it's true, but I'm still not over you All messed up, all strung out, I was sitting at home breaking down I'm not out there getting high underneath some neon lights Ain't no whiskey strong enough to make things right I'm just getting over another sober Saturday night

Besides the pain, I don't feel a thing When my buddies call me up, I just let it ring...

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Kev wished that clock would stop. He wished the world would stop. He hated being in this bed alone... The phone rang again. That wasn’t unusual anymore; and neither was him ignoring it.

Right now his world was upside down and it had nothing to do with the fact he was lying across his bed head and feet dangling over the edge. The light through his blinds was far too bright. But it was worse than that.  He covered his eyes and groaned.  There was absolutely nothing he could do about any of it. And it was killing him.

 It should have been him. He’d been the one who had been so damn stupid. And now he had to live with the consequences of that decision. And so did everyone else... But Kev suffered worst. Because he was well aware his actions had consequences... He wasn’t just as upset as everyone else, he held so much guilt too...

He dropped his hands for a minute so they brushed against the bedroom floor. There was a half-finished pack of beer sitting in the corner of his room. They were your favourite. But he couldn’t even bring himself to drink. Drinking alone was no fun anyway... But now it just made him feel sick. There was also a picture of you sitting on his dresser, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at it. Even though he wanted to. Because he loved you... He did...

And he’d done this.

If he wasn’t so angry, if he wasn’t so stupid... if he wasn’t so like HIM... You would still be with him.

 *

 “What?!” “That’s what I heard-!” “I dunno Lani... I don’t think it’s a good idea to go!” You were reluctant. Kev was an idiot. Obviously. You knew that and you still liked him enough to date him, but you weren’t sure you really wanted to get involved with him making a fool of himself attempting a bank robbery. Besides, wasn’t that more likely to get him arrested? You didn’t want to be there for THAT either.

“Look my brothers with them..! I just think you can talk them out of it! Or at least him out of it!” How did she even know? Kev had mentioned it in passing once but you thought he was joking; “... Well, yeah-! But I just don’t-!” “Please!” Then she tried a different track “I mean it could be laugh, right?! They’re idiots! We’re dating idiots!” You sighed deeply “Okay. But I’m not going in there. No way.” “Good enough! I’ll take it!” She dragged you by the hand and ran to the car.

 **

They weren’t outside when you arrived at the bank, but there were a number of cars that made you suspicious. “Y/N! Park here.” “Lani, it says no parking!!” “Does it matter!!” She jogged your arm “Come on!! We need to go!” “Go! I’m gonna park up safe!” “Why??!” “Uh. Because I’m NOT an idiot??!” You indicated to the cars around “... Pretty sure these are unmarked police cars.” “They’re not gonna care!” “I don’t have the money to get arrested!! Or fined!” You laughed, and pushed her “Go on! Go on! If you can get to your brother and Mick then Kev’s not gonna do anything dumb solo! Trust me. And I’ll be right behind ya if he DOES!!”

 By the time you had jogged back to the bank the police had the place surrounded. Yeah. Of course. Lani stalked out dragging her brother along, with Mick trailing meekly behind. You laughed to yourself again. Nope! You wouldn’t want to piss that girl off either.

He stopped on the other side of the pavement though, she didn’t. Until she realised he wasn’t following; “Mick!! Come ON!!” But he was looking at you, with your tilted head and raised eyebrow. His sigh and rolled eyes was enough. Yeaaah Kev was here and yeaaaah he was coming.... And yeaaaah he probably knew he was in big trouble with you.

 Not two minutes later did Kevin saunter out of the building. Looking cool, cocky, like he didn’t have a care in the world- and didn’t really give one either. You almost laughed. This was just so... typical... of your significant other. What the hell did I ever do to deserve to be with SUCH a dork? An adorable dork though. You reminded yourself. He sure was adorable.

He stood outside the bank with a smile on his face. And you knew that smile meant trouble. “Gun!” You heard the clamour from the police as they all seemed to cock their own and your heart was suddenly on edge. Kev-! What—!? “Y/N! NO-! Wait!” Lani tried to hold you back, but you had to get across the road and suddenly you were beside Mick. Indeed they were right he had a gun. And you were hyper aware all there’s were pointed at him. He was just a kid. You were all just kids! Surely he wouldn’t... and they wouldn’t. But this was your boyfriend after all and you knew he didn’t think. Of course he didn’t. And whether it was fear, excitement, adrenalin, whatever he raised that pistol - just enough.

“NO-!” You screamed it, instinctively. You didn’t even know what possessed you to do it but you ran to him.  You were too late, but right in time. Crashing into him you knocked the gun from his hand but at what cost? You had already heard the shots ring out. But it wasn’t Kev they hit. Both of you fell and hit the concrete.   “Y/N!!!!” He snapped, from cocky child to screaming mess.  “Y/N ! No—!!” There were screams coming from everywhere now, and other horrifying sounds but you could barely hear any of it.  You hadn’t really felt anything. You were aware you were, and rightfully should be in a lot of pain, but... you couldn’t really feel anything. He took your hand in his, and it was so unlike Kev to cry... But tears were streaming down his face. “Oh god!!! Y/N!! No!!! NO!! Come on-! C’mon! Oh god!” You were aware of how much blood there was, too. And how choked your breathing was. You were just about able to reach for Kev’s hand. He grasped it, you were cold and getting colder and he hated it. What could he do?!? There had to be something he could do!!!

Sirens wailed. All you had to do was hold on, that was it. And you were so strong he already knew that. You could do it - God you HAD to do it. “Kev-!” You just about managed “Kev-! Please-! I-!” He gathered you as best he could in his arms, resting your head in his lap. “Shhh—!! St-op! Save your strength Y/N!” His voice shook all over the place. And you were aware his tears were now falling all over you too. You were conscious you also now couldn’t feel at least half your body, anything that he wasn’t touching.   “Kev-!” You were just about able to reach out with your other hand and turn his face to yours; so you could look into those gorgeous, but sorrowful, blue eyes. “Kev-! I want you to—!” You coughed and you could taste the iron... that just wasn’t good. You tried again, weakly “I love you.”

 It hit something that only made him cry harder, how you’d said it so finally. Like that. Like it was the last time you would. “No!! NO!! Y/N! Don’t give up! Don’t-! You can’t f**king die on me!! Don’t! Please don’t die-! Oh god!” You shook your head, pretty certain that even hospital couldn’t save you now. And if you were going to have to accept that, so was he, and you wouldn’t waste the time you had left.

Tears slid down your cheeks and you repeated yourself “I love you...” But he shook his head, pushing his forehead to yours “Stop saying it like that!! You can’t! F**king! Die on me!!!” Sh*t! This was all his fault. ALL his fault!! There wasn’t a whole lot he could do though, and both of you knew it. Your breathing began to labour, and he didn’t know what to reach for. The ground and his clothes were covered in blood. Your blood. It should have been his blood. You should be sitting her crying and calling him a f***ing idiot. But you’d saved his life - for what?! He took your head in his hands, you were cold. “N-N-No...!!” He sobbed, placing a kiss to your forehead and then your lips as he held your face to his “P-please.... Y/N... d-don’t go... don’t leave me...” you were just about able to place your hands over his. The pain was subsiding as other bodily instinct kicked in... “I’m such a f**king idiot!! Such a f**king waste of space—! You don’t deserve this! Y/N please...!”

“Don’t.” Your words were remarkably strong “Don’t you DARE say that about yourself Kevin Madden. Don’t you DARE.” You smiled gently, pressing your lips to his “You’ve got your whole life... You’re.... a great man. And I love you... for that...” You squeezed his hands as hard as you were able; focusing on him as much as possible. It wasn’t nearly as hard as you imagined. “I...I love you too... but please... don’t... don’t give up...” He made you laugh, and there was that unmistakable taste again “Baby... I’m done... I know it and so do you...” “Y/N-!” “Hush. Save it...” you managed another smile “and just kiss me...?” It was all he could do to oblige you that. A series of short, sweet butterfly kisses... “We had a good... ride, right? You and I?” It was your smile accompanied with the smallest of winks that had him laughing through his tears; “The best.”

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