#keith hell

lance “like what?” mcclain

keith who LOVES to flaunt the fact that when he got forcibly diagnosed at the garrison they took 17 tubes of blood from him and he wasnt even dizzy

keith who has a hot water bottle inside of a hippo plush for when his hips or knees start to ache

he tapes up his ankles and wrists and has a sleeve on his right knee

when he cracks his back EVERYONE stops because truly it sounds like there is a bone breaking

keith who has to take a minimum of six extra strength ibuprofen to get it to work because of how many he took while in school

recreational swimmer keith because it soothes all his aching joints

the doctors at the garrison looked keith future paladin of the red lion dead in his lying little eyes and said do not bend in odd positions as a party trick

he left their office and immediately goes up to lance and bends his thumb back to his wrist because look at what i can do fucker

he’s a tea drinker because he can not so subtly press the cup to his wrist to alleviate the ache

why do i know this?

because hes the most genuine motherfucker around. hes not flashy or nothin (except when he’s in black’s cockpit but that’s a different keith)

when he’s a part of the restoration effort and passing out water and bandaids to young children, he’s also inadvertently passing on sage advice on how to help themselves and grow up to be better than their predecessors

as a diplomat he’s not. The Most Awesome talker theyve ever seen but he does come up with solid and well thought up plans the day after a conference because he knew there was a way he just needed to figure it out

keith is gods bravest everything because i think this poor wet cat got afflicted with EVERYTHING

tummy aches migraines nausea joint aches the whole shebang

hes also lactose intolerant and thus he is miserable All. The. Time.

ive never played but i have read aftg and familiarized myself with exy

just the concept of being able to hit people with a stick and lob a ball at someone standing in front of a net is something i think hes really into

he’d be a striker

keith has a need for glory and fame and playing the striker means he can push and push and push and throw punches

he’s a very reckless player and always walks off the turf with scrapes turf burns bruises and bloody scratches