#keep words

you kept me afloat and didn't even let me know you were drowning. it still hurts knowing how well you hid it but i guess it’s too late now.

what do i do with this? what do i do with this emptiness that has an underlying scent of your clothes?

my ribs crack every time i pass you and take in that loving scent. one that feels like holding me when i’m at my worst.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry you had to feel like you were at the bottom of the ladder, having to feel like you need to help everyone else up and by the time it’s your turn, you’re already back on the ground trying to catch your breath.

if you are the rain, then i am the grass you grow, my love.

i am the object you cast shadows with, my star.

if there is no rain, then there must be no clouds, my belovèd.

what is a planet without its star?

what are trees without water, and what are leaves without their tree?

if you are a goddess, then i will pray at your altar, majesty.

if you are Goddess then i am Woman.

i pray to the unholy about you.

save your breath, love, exhale to someone who deserves to breathe the same air as you. let me succumb to the thin up here. let my breathing be whisked away by who i will become in the next life.

i’m already looking down on myself and see what life i led and which one i will lead next. i hope they are better than what i’ve been. i hope they see who loves them. so they know it’s not time to go.

i wake up breathing deeply.

lights blinding.

heart pounding.

ears ringing.

the sound of chests creaking.

i inhale.