Oct 7, 2022
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Yesterday
As my morning began I know what this day holds, it holds the day my brother graduates. He didn’t look that excited as I thought he would be, as the opening ceremony was about to begin I texted my bother asking ‘’ you excited” his response “ not really”. As I thought about his response I thought was he not excited because he didn’t chase his dream of something else or was he having a bad morning. As this thought kept running through my mind I felt as if this was the time I realized that if I don’t fulfill my dreams I will regret everything. As I get out of my thought I hear my brother’s name being called I cheered out loud for him to be happy and excited that he is graduating. This day is one that I will hold special to my heart everyday till I die.
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//
this week has been full of so many emotions and a lot of discouraging news back to back. you know the weeks that you question where God is in your mess? this whole month has honestly been a really hard struggle.
but today i'm reminded of the things I do have. I have a God that has made His presence known to me, who has done much to show His pursuit of me. I have a loving husband that pursues me, leads me, cares for me, and will do anything to provide for me. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a place to sleep, great coffee, family, friendships that are growing, and lots more. how can I be thankful for the big blessings if I can't stop and appreciate the small things right now?
I can feel big things coming, I can feel the blessings. it's just staying thankful and persevering through the times that are dark and have little hope of change. God has pursued me and done so much in my lifetime, yet I'm throwing my hands up in anger at Him. who do I think I am? He's always provided, always worked everything out in one way or another. I can just feel Him saying to me right now, "do you trust Me?" everything is in God's hands, and I feel that God has set it up to be that way. every attempt we've made on our own has failed. it's up to God in everything. which is the way He loves to work.
i'm excited to see how He's gonna work this out.
keep chasing the light.
// but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
"Chasing Pavements" I've made up my mind, Don't need to think it over If I'm wrong, I am right Don't need to look no further, This ain't lust I know this is love But, if I tell the world I'll never say enough 'cause it was not said to you And that's exactly what I need to do If I end up with you Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasin' pavements? Even if it leads nowhere Or would it be a waste Even if I knew my place Should I leave it there Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasin' pavements Even if it leads nowhere I build myself up And fly around in circles Waitin' as my heart drops And my back begins to tingle Finally, could this be it