Ok so yesterday I (kind of unexpectedly) had a meltdown at work. (It had been building up but I ignored it for a while bc I haven't had one in almost a year.)
My coworkers know I am autistic and have already shown their acceptance and support when I was nonverbal or being overstimulated, and my boss (I hate calling him that. To me he's just Philipp) recognised I was having a bad time and managed to kind of hide me and help me calm down a little, but it was an overall bad situation.
Especially because he said he'd bring me home and then his girlfriend walked with us and asked him to go shopping, saying she could bring me home as well. I can barely understand what she means at the best of times as she has weird facial expressions and always sounds cross, so I disliked it.
Anyway I now made a ten page PowerPoint presentation in our work cloud which I will present to them about dealing with me in these situations so that they can actually help and not worsen it by accident.
The thing is, I'm self-diagnosed. My mother was antivaxx and since I wasn't vaccinated until I was 18 and living on my own it was "impossible for me to be autistic", so she wrote me off as a weird child. I have decided to not get an official diagnosis until after I have started transitioning because I've heard the stories. I know that being diagnosed with autism makes it almost impossible to be diagnosed with gender incongruence.
One day I won't be working there anymore (and that day is somewhen in next march) and I am so scared that whoever my future bosses and coworkers are, that they won't believe me.
I mean I can call myself lucky tho, can't I? Most self-diagnosed autistic people probably have it worse at their places of work. I still can't help but worry, tho.