Problem child turned Problem adult

as someone who was there that is finest grade bullshit

Taking "Empty Nest Syndrome" to the next level.

transitioning is like putting on the They Live glasses and seeing that 90% of people looking at you are either jerking off or furiously sharpening a knife. or both. and i do not mean that in a sexy or fun way, and i dont like clarifying that, but i know there's a 90% chance you are thinking it, because i wrote it while being a trans woman.

So many women are looking for a “masc lesbian” but what they really mean is that they want a top who has their life together lmao

“You got masc vibes even though you are a femme” do I? Or do you just think that confidence and competence are inherently linked to masculinity?

Like if you want someone to top you till you cry then you should just say that. There are many women who can provide, many of them femme.

But also it’s kind of rude to assign gender roles and sexual preferences to someone just because they’re masc. just because she wears a snapback that doesn’t mean she’s a top or able to fix your car or whatever.

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

t4t petplay where we don’t actually fuck each other. we just have our respective puppygirls fuck each other as we direct them.

A lot of people’s idea of “California” is just Los Angeles and also I think specifically the rich parts of Los Angeles

As a European, my idea of “California” is honestly just. Warm America. With beach? I think?

There’s cold rainforests and snowy mountains there

I an this close to crying and going home and smoking the fattest doink i ever rolled and cry some more and watch my comfort show and hate myself for not being productive and eat the entire contents of my freezer and hate myself more for fatphobic reasons

I think i forgot to take my antidepressants again this week

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

As many cool points as the Twelfth Doctor gets simply by existing, I do think it's important to remember that his first major act after regenerating was to fly the TARDIS into prehistoric Earth, get swallowed by a T-Rex, land in Victorian London, stagger outside, and let gravity officiate his wedding of face to Thames river bank mud.

nobody tells you this bc it’s stupid but the best thing to do while on your period is play the sims 4 on a laptop in bed. not only is the sims 4 more fun when you’re emotionally disregulated but the processing power required for the worlds least optimized & shittiest video game of all time will cause your laptop to actively try to kill itself and depending on your position while playing the 3000 degree nuclear meltdown occurring in your lap makes a wonderful natural heating pad. Pro gamer tip

How did it get up there

It’s difficult to tell - typically light fixtures are installed using some combination of screws and brackets to affix them to the wall, but in this case the actual point of connection is obscured by a cat.

that's a cat ✅️

Ich muss arbeiten, aber die chickies lenken mich ab 🐔🐔🐔

Your artstyle is like your gut microbiome in the way its everything you consume and like and it also has all your bacteria up in it. Thats probably how that works