#kclittlethoughts

12:02am

Been talking to someone I met thru bumble. Si E. We've talked for more than a month na pero recently sobrang busy to talk. I realized just now na baka sobrang tagal pa before kami magkita given the pandemic, the distance, and our schedules.

So far, masaya naman. I just dont want to get my hopes up ulit.

I'm not really stopping myself from feeling happy bc of this pero I just try every now and then to remind myself na this could be short lived like before. Or smth na wala namang patutunguhan. Idk. I wasnt exactly looking for a jowa naman when I downloaded bumble. I just try to protect nyself in a sense na I should be "ready"?? Just in case it doesnt go well.

Yun langgg. :)

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3:32 am

Reread old msgs I exchanged with W tapos di naman (pala) sad lahat sksksk. Naging masaya naman kami for some time. It just wasnt the right time (yung relationship) then kasi kakastart pa lang ng college and we're still figuring out how to manage our time. Kaya di nagwork. And we were young hahahahah (still young naman now but gets)

Anw ayun lang. Good night

Watched almost the whole series of Something in the Rain :((( ang ganda.

I need to review for my exam on monday later this day (12:48 am na as of writing). And list the items I need for lab, then order online. Ang dami na namang gastos :<

Been away from both my ig accounts for 2/3 days na. Wala naman din akong new paintings so okay lang. I wanna learn how to do urban sketching/painting; amazing ng ibang videos on youtube so I wanna give it a try rin.

I honestly wish I could be better. Or sipagan sana ako with my responsibilities sa school :( pero nakakastress kasi just thinking about it. Pero di naman matatanggal yung stress kung di ko haharapin hahahuhu.

Byee

we’re still on lockdown(ish).

Almost a year of COVID in this country. Ang shit hahahuhu bakit di na to matapos tapos. Daming nawalan ng trabaho. Nawalan ng buhay. Wala pa rin. Sariling interes pa rin pinapairal ng mga nasa gobyerno. Napakagago. Napakasahol.

Writing here kasi I’m worried about dent. Lagi naman. kastress. Paano ko ba matatapos to :< Worried na shet baka di ko kaya eh I’m in too deep na. Dami ko nang nasurviuve though not without struggling. :( idk lang. Just wanted to say that here. Ilang taon na, pahirap lang nang pahirap. Minsan gusto ko na lang mag face to face classes na para di mahirap. Nahihirapan ako sa online ang bigat hahahuhu. :( kahit f2f bigat rin. Pero iba lang kasi pag physically may kasama ka. 

Made this today