#kaylac

Here is my creative assignment. I thought Kayla F.'s was really cool and mine is kind of similar. 

  Each of the three novels was completely different from what I usually read or pick for myself—South African mystery/fantasy, graphic novel, short stories—but they were very engaging, to the point that I want to reread them. They were complex and thought-provoking, but analyzing them did not feel like a chore. I wish we had read them earlier in the semester because each of the three has great potential for a seminar paper. I thought Cat People was the perfect mix of bizarre and entertaining, while still raising lots of questions. These four secondary texts were interesting in their own right and brought a lot out of the primary texts. I appreciated the chance to finally read Freud and understand that crucial piece of framework. 

  Kaspar Hauser was a German boy who allegedly grew up by himself in a dark cell on a floor covered with hay in the 1800s. The actor who played Kaspar Hauser was the son of a prostitute and spent over twenty years in a mental institution, but Herzog did not think he actually had intellectual disabilities. Kasper was not found until he was a teenager. In this scene in the movie, he is free but stands completely still whereas the cows and horses are tied up but constantly move. Growing up in isolation, he did not develop a desire for freedom, nor did he display aggression, yet the townspeople lock him up in jail. For another class, I’m looking at photo-documentaries of global mental health, and people with intellectual disabilities are still locked up in shacks or high-security jails, because others automatically view them as unpredictable and dangerous. Kaspar still learns to speak, read, and write. He picks up on sexism, questions religion, and even makes a professor look silly by solving his logic puzzle in an unconventional but simple way.  He dies from a stab wound, but we only see ridiculously fake-looking blood gush out, not who did it. At the end of the movie, doctors autopsy Kaspar’s corpse, and a creepy one is very excited about identifying a few abnormalities in the liver and the brain, as if there is a purely biological cause for Kaspar’s differences. The other characters think their culture is completely natural, but Kaspar shows that how you were raised completely changes what is normal and how you perceive. 

*****My cat is ignoring it and it is totally bumming me out. --Sam*****

I thought that Jacob’s story was unique, because his father is a Minotaur. I thought this metaphor teased out the theme of gender roles, because his father is extremely masculine, literally carrying his family to the frontier but nearly working himself to death and risking their lives without admitting the problems. His mother is practical, but Jacob’s father makes Jacob laugh at her and believe in his dreams, despite what Jacob actually sees. 

I was surprised by how diverse the papers from my panel were. We talked about the slums, the scientific community in a Spanish soap opera, information technology, Puritans and Hollywood, and British nationalism, and wandered off to video games, anarchy, and Disneyland during the discussion. Surprisingly, these topics were related, although our theme of “The Dark Side” admittedly casts a wide net. Most of us dealt with individuals within different systems as well as ethical questions. I did not expect the extent to which we were asked to respond to each other’s work, but it was thought provoking to hear the audience’s perspectives on our papers and to consider how our ideas connected. The format of reading all the papers out loud was a little challenging for me in terms of following and processing the different ideas, and I found the discussion most valuable. I also attended most of Kayla F.’s panel, and our animal inside theme really seemed to dominate. The Freud reading was useful as a common framework for several of the papers. Again, the papers were diverse, yet all but one tied together well. Overall, the conference was much more interesting than I had expected and I really enjoyed it. 

I initially thought that the ending was sad. It seems like San cannot accept humanity, either within herself or within Ashitaka. She is a complex character: Moro tells Ashitaka that she will die with the animals, but I was not sure if that is because she is primarily an animal or because as a human, she is connected to animals and will die without them. The relationship between San and Ashitaka is also complex: it wavers between hate and love, pulling close and pushing away, and it needs resolution. I was expecting a clear, beautiful ending that would unite them. San rejects him, however, Ashitaka says they can live separately yet nearby. I thought this was a gentle breakup, but on a second thought, maybe it was not and they still have the possibility of harmony across their different spheres. The ending of the film feels ambiguous, not final. The final outcome depends on the characters’ future actions. Similarly, the relationship between humans and the environment depends on our actions. There seems to be positive momentum with the new life and growth, but the uncertainty remains. With a fresh start, naturally there is optimism and excitement over the potential to do everything perfectly, but we do not have that amazing launching point. We have to find that wave of motivation and ideals in the midst of flawed, depressing process underway, while Irontown is firmly established and natural habitats are dying.  

  I also thought the personal story in Chapter 1 that Spiegelman promised not to include was interesting. Vladek claims it is too private, but Speigelman insists that it makes the story “more real—more human.” This is so true: when I see the person behind the noble survivor, I have a deeper reaction. Earlier in the semester, I attended the talk with Eva Schloss, Anne Frank’s step-sister. She mentioned that Anne’s mother tried to teach Anne lessons while they were in hiding but Anne refused, and this reminded me of how my mom tried to teach me how to play the piano, under completely different circumstances. My mom almost decided to become a concert pianist, so it was very important to share her love of music with me, but I just would not listen to her as I would listen to an outside teacher. This is a relatively petty example, but I felt pretty bad and called my mom right after the talk. Generally, I think children tend to be annoyed by their parents’ attempts to teach them something important (such as language, culture, or religion), but when they grow up, they regret missing that connection to their parents. This tension is magnified between Art and Vladek, because the very thing that Art is curious about is exactly what makes Vladek so unbearable.