#katlyng6

Thanks for speaking to every girl out there who has ever been abused. Making people realize that it can happen to everyone. 

"When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not — I could not be easy with that part. I couldn’t be held responsible for telling them to go back. Chris, even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won’t? Whose to say that they wont kill these girls and these and these are young girls and I could not. I just didn’t realize how much of an impact I had on these girls lives until that happened."

Most relationships start great. It’s romantic, you’ll get along; the abuse doesn’t start until later. So why the change? Some will think that the reason is because they are doing something wrong, others will keep hoping that things will go back to the way they were. The hope for a better relationship makes them stick around. 

Another reason is that a lot of people in society will blame the victim for the abuse because they are not doing anything to stop it and are therefore “provoking” it. Because they choose to stay and they are told that the abuse is “their choice” they are basically being told that the abuse is their fault. 

This site describes what a victim is and gives a more in depth description of what I described above. Check it out for more information. 

Green Day, Pulling Teeth, off of the Dookie album. 

I hate, grammar. Heck, if it weren't for spell check I would have just spelled that "grammer." And yes I realize I should not have used a comma in that first sentence, but guess what? I don't care. 

I think that grammar can restrict writing. I fear that people will judge the quality of my writing rather than what I am actually saying. Even in these tumblr blogs I fear that I am not saying things correctly, not in the correct "tumblr fashion." I feel that there is a certain tone or language that is used in blogs but I can't pinpoint exactly how to mirror that. I constantly believe that there is a better way I could phrase things, and that there is a better way to deliver my message. I don't trust myself to write a quality piece even if I'm very passionate about whatever it is I am writing. 

I envy those who are naturally gifted at writing and have good grammar. I envy those who can write a first draft with flawless grammar and can focus on their content without wondering if their grammar is horrible or not. 

I think that many people experience feelings similar to this and that these feelings stop people from writing. This class has helped me get over myself a bit and just write, but the underlying fear and hatred for writing is still there. Anytime that I used to get a writing assignment I would cringe and dread the moment I would be forced to sit down and write it. Now I see that not everything has a certain way to be written and that I can really just write down my thoughts without having to conform to any single way of writing. 

Dear Dr. Phil, 

I understand you love the hard ass "do it yourself" advice, but try not to be so ignorant. I read up on the advice you gave to a women who was suffering abuse in her home and I can't say I agreed with ANYTHING you said. Here's a recap of your latest advice. 

Take responsibility. You have played a role in setting up the relationship this way, and you must play a role in changing it. Telling your partner that the treatment is unacceptable is not enough. Your actions speak louder than words, so you need to make two bold moves: Change your own routine or behavior, and tell your partner you will no longer take the abuse.  The worst part about many abusive relationships is that there isn't any easy way out. You can't just get up and leave. If it was that easy the domestic abuse rates would be close to inexistent. The abuser is the dominant- what they say goes. If you go against that, THATS WHEN IT GETS VIOLENT. 

"There are no victims, only volunteers." Don't go along to get along. Peace at any price is no peace at all.  Well next time I'll make sure to not put "likes to be beaten" on my dating application.

Relationships are always up for renegotiation. You need to sit down with your partner, look him/her in the eyes, and tell him/her that you are taking a stand. You will not stay in the relationship if the abuse continues. From there, begin to negotiate. Figure out how both of you can take strides to make the marriage work.  If only it were that easy. 

Watch yourself to make sure you don't fall back into the victim role.  This is what KILLS me. You completely victimize people. Getting abused is THEIR fault?! No. Go home Dr. Phil. You're drunk. 

So. I also wanted to share the COUNTLESS reasons why people may choose to stay in an abusive relationship.

First and foremost- FEAR. The emotional and mental abuse can be relentless. "My partner threatened to track me down and kill me if I left him." "I was scared the consequences of me trying to leave would be worse then staying around."  Fear for your own well-being is a pretty compelling reason to stick around even through a shit hole. 

They've become reliant on their abuser- either financially, emotionally, or sometimes an abuser will cut a person off from their friends/family and they will have no where else to go.

KIDS. They stay for the kids. Some women would rather suffer in so many ways then question having their kids taken away from them or have their kids have to go through their parents divorce. 

Many still hope that they will change. At one point the relationship was better, things were good and he/she was romantic and fine, and some will keep waiting for it to become that again, possibly thinking they are the reason why it changed. 

So please, before you go off telling women that they are at fault for being beaten and abused, try to understand that women aren't just crazy. NO ONE asks for this. Thanks for the great advice to "just leave." I'm pretty sure any logical person could have come to that conclusion. 

Thanks for nothing, 

A horrified ex-viewer

The New York Times reported that former Miami Dolphins defensive end Phillip Merling was given "special treatment" after he was arrested for domestic abuse in 2010.