#katkat030

Joel polished the counter of his bar with his washcloth. Business was slow tonight. It was a Tuesday. Tuesdays never particularly brought good things.

Business was actually more than slow, Joel mused. No one was here. Except for him. He sat down on the stool behind the counter and sighed, resting his head on the counter. It was rather boring, the same five quiet songs playing on repeat.

Maybe he should get a drink. Maybe…

His eyes flicked towards the refrigerator. No. There wasn’t anyone to duel. Not tonight, at least. Gem should be asleep, but knowing the Hermits, only Bdubs and Skizz were asleep at this hour. Joel knew that Grian and Mumbo had chronic insomnia and tended to stare at the ceiling in an attempt to fall asleep, but to no avail.

Leftover remnants from Season 8, Joel supposed.

The counter was very comfortable. Maybe he could just…

The bells on the door rang. Joel jolted up, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “Welcome!” he told the customer, continuing to blink rapidly to get used to the lights in his vision. “What can I get for you, dear customer?”

“I’ll get a drink,” the customer said.

Joel nodded. “On it.”

Joel made a drink, mixing together ingredients. He made his own favorite drink, because what else would he make, when someone so stupid didn’t even give him a specification on what they wanted?

Joel turned around, presenting the drink to the customer, and was mildly surprised to see his own face looking back at him. “Ah. Hello, Joel. Nice to see you here,” he said, setting the drink down on the counter.

Joel smiled at Joel. “I must say, it is hard to keep away from the best bar in town,” Joel said, grinning at Joel.

Joel shrugged. “It’s honest work. We use local recipes.” He took a glass from below the counter and started polishing the cup. “Do you need anything else? We have other drinks, we have crackers, we have chicken tenders—”

Joel raised his eyebrows. “Where did you get chicken tenders?”

Joel shrugged. “The land of magic. The chicken died. I chopped it up. Chicken tenders.”

Joel narrowed his eyes. “Impossible.”

Joel grinned, showing his teeth as he leaned intentionally against the counter. “Definitely possible.”

Joel rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. “Sure. Have you heard the news?” he asked, leaning in towards Joel.

Joel couldn’t help but lean in too. The tone of Joel’s voice was captivating. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been blummin’ stuck in this bar the entire day. There hasn’t been any interesting gossip.”

Joel took a sip of Joel’s drink, and damn, that was good. Oh yeah, he made it. Damn, he was a good bartender.

“Did you hear that Subscribe Button Joel started dating Bad Boy Joel?” Joel asked lowly.

Joel spat out his drink on Joel’s face. Joel made a face, wiping the drink off with a disgusted look. “WHAT?”

Joel nodded, still looking very disgruntled at the fact that Joel had just spat his own drink all over his face. And his shirt. Joel must admit, it was a nice shirt. Of course, he was wearing the same one right now, and his was better.

“Yeah. Jeremy walked in on them sleeping.” Joel waggled his eyebrows. Ah. So not sleeping. “Sleeping”, as they put it.

“Feel bad for Jeremy,” Joel muttered. “That must’ve been bad.”

“Yeah,” Joel said. He looked down at his shirt. “Why’d you have to ruin my shirt? This is my favorite shirt, Joel.”

Joel shrugged. “I mean. It was pretty ugly.”

Joel gave him a look. “Joel. Joel Smallishbeans. We have the same shirt. We’re currently wearing the same shirt. Do not diss my shirt when we have the same shirt.”

Joel shrugged, looking at Joel’s shirt where it was ruined by the drink. “I mean. Mine is better, y’know?”

Joel stared at Joel, fire in his eyes. Joel smirked arrogantly back at him.

Joel stood up. “Joel. My shirt was good, until you spat my drink all over it!”

Joel shrugged, looking up and down Joel’s shirt. “I mean, there’s a loose button there, and who knows what you’re hiding under the corset. Mine is better. Mine has always been better.”

“No it hasn’t,” Joel scoffed, stepping closer to the counter. “Look at your collar. It’s wrinkled. Have you seen mine? It’s perfectly pressed.” He went there. He went for the wrinkled collar? Who does he think Joel is? How much time does he think Joel had on his hands? Well, actually—

Joel spends a lot of his time in the bar rewatching the Barbie movie. He appreciates the cultural themes. He also watches Harry Potter, and he can feel a familiar presence near him quoting all the lines nearly perfectly along with the movies.

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that's the end they should've kissed I'm really upset but this is from June 9th so. almost an entire half a year old.