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Finality.
That realization is what kills. I don’t think it’s just me. I think anyone--both the romantics and those capable of objectively looking at something for what it is--can be hurt by the thought of something dying… something ceasing to exist from that point forward… knowing you may never taste that very feeling ever again. Having to grasp that, is just… crippling.
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If I could ever have any addiction, it would be this feeling
At times,...
it’s too much to bear. To love so deeply and detach while doing so... all while breaking someone you love. It’s a high to love with such intensity... it’s my absolute drug of choice. Just like any other addiction, you come to a point where you lose control... you lose yourself at times, if not completely.
How much pain have I inflicted on myself and unto others in this lifetime over my capricious heart?
It's so hard, though,... to let go.
There's just as much beauty in this love, as there is pain.
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I appreciate hatred. I prefer love. The one thing I won't tolerate? Indifference.
I really do always get everything I want. Remaining grateful and not letting it get to my head is key, though. This is because I remember the bitter taste of loss, and understand that the highs taste even sweeter because of having endured the lows.
I make it a priority to live my life with open eyes. I make it a priority to love it despite the trials.
I'm here now. I'm awake. I'm asking for what I want, not what I choose.
What's the difference, you're wondering?
The difference lies in what I want to feel, what my soul needs, what God/the Universe knows I'm seeking... what I'm choosing may not necessarily be the same thing.
