ruben's intense repulsion towards the mere idea of another man sexually assaulting him when he has historically assaulted a woman in one of the most dehumanizing ways possible is a masterful portrayal of how homophobia is inherently misogynist and how the structural powers that perpetuate this kind of thinking are primarily masculinist.
ruben saying that being groped by a man is "different" and how it's an "attack to the soul" just bespeaks this unrealized view of women where they are inexorably stripped of their personhood. the implication that women are not a threat to his masculinity by virtue of their assigned gender at birth is the traditional and conservative view of gender that inherently treats women as nothing more than objects and vessels for masculine validation.
homophobia at its core stems from a fear of having a structure that naturally oppresses women toppled, and perhaps even from a masculinist sexual shame that's externalized as the fallacious presumption of gay people's nature as sexual predators. the fact that this show is able to portray that is honestly just satisfying.