#kaneatofic

Ayato knew what was coming, but his heart still skipped a beat as he unlocked the lock to his apartment door. His eyes widened when he saw Santa Claus staring back at him. The foot he used to gently kick the door shut wobbled. This is going way too far...

“Merry Christmas, Ayato-kun! Hohoho!” In his boyfriend -- Ken’s -- outstretched arms there was a poorly wrapped gift. It was clear from the wrapping that it was a body sized plush bunny.

Still, Ayato was happy. It was more than he had expected; he had casually mentioned that he really wanted a huge bunny from Santa who he’d never met before (hell yes, he believed in Santa!).

Cheeks turning a little pink, Ayato accepted the gift. “Thank you,” he mumbled. He knew Ken would have a goofy smile on his face now, and it’d totally ruin the moment, so he kept his head burrowed in his new best friend.

“I’m glad you like it, Ayato. There’s more inside.”

There’s more? Ripping the wrapping apart so he could sink his fingers into the soft fur of the bunny (he loved it; he’d name it Shittyneki), Ayato silently strolled after Ken, wondering when would be a good time for his own gift.

There was a feast today; from turkey to his favourite dessert to wine (Ayato had just turned legal this year). The layout was another thing he’d mentioned ages ago; how did Ken remember all of them? It was a little too much for his heart to bear.

“How is it? ...Ayato? Is something the matter?”

“...” You’re so unfair, dammit. 

“Ken, c’here.” Ayato settled his bunny on the ground,  its ears tickling his neck. He was sure his face was red as a tomato by now. Ken did as he said -- slowly, for he was unsure of what to expect.

Then Ayato just pulled him by his fake beard for a quick kiss before hugging him by the neck, tight enough that it was hard for Ken to breathe, not that he minded.

“Umm, what I have isn’t something as grand as any of these... but it’s something you said you wanted...” God, his heart is beating so quickly... Or is that mine?

“So, uh, Merry Christmas, and, um... er, Iloveyou.”

#1: let’s date (because i think you want to)

it started off as short messages left in his shoe locker.

words like “i like you, shitass.” or “go out with me, motherfucker.” the person had even gotten the kanji for ken’s name wrong. even though the handwriting was more of messy scribbling, each message was ended with a drawing of a cute bunny.

then one day they switched to text messages; ken had no idea how they got his phone number. they said roughly the same thing (except now in neater, digital text), and ended with a bunny emoji.

about a week later, ken saw his “admirer” in his university. they -- he -- was easy to spot; he wore a bunny shirt, had two bunny clips keeping his hair from covering his face, and was publicly... stalking ken after class.

even though the boy -- ken asked and learnt that his name was kirishima ayato -- had the appearance of a fluffy-dressed delinquent, he didn’t dare approach ken and instead tried to poorly blend in with the students.

for some reason, ken found that cute and in the end, it was ken who went up to ayato and outstretched his hand:

“hello, cute bunny-kun. i take it as you’re my secret admirer? won’t you please go out with this shitass/motherfucker?”

#2: let’s kiss (because i think i want to)

ken looks up; he catches ayato staring.

“...what?”

refusing to look ken in the eye, ayato mutters a “nothing”. frowning, ken returns to reading, then feels ayato’s eyes on him again.

ken tears his eyes away from his book again, this time his expression more stern.

“what?” he hisses lowly; they’re in the library and ken didn’t want to attract anymore attention. it was already the talk of both his university and ayato’s high school that they’re dating.

“ -- ... shit,” ayato ruffles his already messy hair. ken had recently learnt that it was a natural purple and not dyed, which was a wonder in itself.

“it’s just, well, you... you just looked so damned cool when you’re studying.”

the blush on ayato’s cheeks had ken turning scarlet himself. maybe he’s actually more in that he thought.

at the thought, ken found himself sighing in defeat. “hey, ayato. c’here for a bit,” he gestures with his hand.

“...? what is it, you bastard...”

shielding them from view with the help of his textbook, ken kissed ayato. it was only a quick, light peck; he pulled away immediately.

the look on ayato’s face said it all. ken chuckles. “i just had a feeling that i had to kiss you is all.”

#3: let’s move in together (because we love each other)

in the blink of an eye, three years had passed. 

ken had graduated from university and ayato is finishing his final year. ken hadn’t thought they’d actually last this long together.

as he drives ayato to his graduation exam, ken can’t help but think back to the past three years. it had been fun.

“fun.” a word ken wasn’t accustomed to using with people. his idea of fun had always revolved around books, and now it included ayato. in fact, ken could easily see himself in the far future with ayato.

has he become such a large part of my life? 

ken chews on his lips, the way he does when he’s deep in thought. ayato notices, and nudges his elbow.

“focus on the road. don’t worry; i’ll be fine. i may be stupid, but with all your teaching, there’s no way i can fail.”

“...yeah. yeah, that’s right. hey, ayato?”

“mm?” ayato was already busy reciting formulas, which ken found cute.

oh my god, i’m really in deep, aren’t i?

ken clears his throat. “you know... after you graduate, why don’t we move in together?”

silence. ken risks a peek at ayato after a minute. then he found himself grinning.

Ayato was a trained killer. He probably knew 100 ways to break one’s neck even without his kagune. So when a guy like him starts going “GAHHHH!” in the middle of the night, isn’t it normal for Ken to go running to his rescu—

“What the fuck?” Ken’s hands broke the door of their room down while his kagune reached for the boy in the kitchen, too concerned to care what each part of his body was doing as long as they got to Ayato.

“Don’t just stand there! Help me!”

But still Ken remained frozen. How was he to react at the sight before him? Ayato was on one of their dining chairs, hands grabbing onto its top rail, shaking in what could only be fear. His kakugan pupils were focused on something eerie…

“…A cockroach?” Was Ken meant to scream as well or to roll his eyes or to cry at the fees he’d have to pay for the repair of his door later? Ayato the cold blooded ghoul was afraid of a cockroach? It ****** and ****** (censored due to the horror on Ayato’s face), and Ayato jumped, almost falling off the chair.

“HURRY UP AND GET RID OF IT!” it was the look on Ayato’s face that did it after all. With a not-so-well suppressed laugh, Ken picked up the cockroach by its antennas and flung it out of the kitchen window, earning a shriek from Ayato as it flew past him.

They stayed like that for a few moments; Ken with his arms open in case Ayato falls off the chair, and the latter evening his breathing as the embarrassment catches up on him. At last Ayato jumps off the chair silently, face a shade of scarlet. Even his footsteps as he scurried to wrap his arms around Ken were gentle.

“…Forget all that,” Ayato muttered as he squeezed Ken so tightly he felt his organs might spill out (fortunately for him, he was used to this treatment).

Ayato glanced left, then right. He would have even looked behind his back if he thought it’d help. After long moments of looking at his map, he sighed. Where the hell was his class? He was completely, utterly lost on his first day in the college section of the darned big school. Dammit.

There was an easy way out, of course. It would be effortless for him to fish out his phone and dial the one number he never wanted to dial – Touka, his sister, a senior in the school. But he won’t. Ayato definitely won’t call her until he had no other alternatives. For now, he just had to keep looking.

Twenty minutes later, and Ayato was even more lost than before – if that was even possible. He rubbed his nose in annoyance and frowned at the map for maybe the millionth time, eyebrows drawn tightly together. There were seniors and even some lecturers who lingered as they passed him by, as though they knew he was lost, but were too afraid to help him all the same. The only reason they didn’t come up to him was… well, he wouldn’t come up to him either.

“UGH!” Ayato ripped the map apart. Fuck it; how big could a school be? Only pride stubbornness kept him from jumping at a stranger and demanding where the hell was the class for Literature Level 2 taking place. Reluctantly, he flopped himself onto an empty bench, dug into the pocket of his denim jeans for his phone, finger hovering over the speed dial button. I knew I shouldn’t have taken her up on this whole school shit offer. High school was shitty enough, and now college. College! Jesus.

He paused as he felt certain somebody come up to him silently. Ayato didn’t even hear him until he saw the shadow hovering over him. His head snapped up, and out of reflex he fixed a scowl on his face, hoping to ward the stranger off. The scent registered before the looks did. Ayato cocked his head, taking another whiff of the familiar scent, eyes searching for something – anything – on the man’s face. Then his eyes widened in recognition.

Kaneki something had a different hairstyle today, and the only reason Ayato used different was because he couldn’t think of a better word on the spot. Clearly, different was a huge understatement.

Not only did Kaneki have black hair now, it was styled in a very… unique way, to put it nicely. Instead of straight white hair on the train last night, he had black hair now – dye? – and his bangs were brushed to the right. It looked hilarious on him. Add the geek glasses, and he’d be the joke of the year. Anyone who spared him a glance would be able to see how nervous he was. But he was dressed in a suit like yesterday, and of course he looked way too old to be a student.

“Um, excuse me. Might you know the way to this classroom? Today is my first official day in the school, and I thought I wouldn’t need help, but…” Kaneki didn’t seem to recognize Ayato; did he look that different in a uniform? He didn’t take the map, opening his mouth to say he’s lost himself, then doubled over in laughter at the location scribbled below a circled area. No way!

Kaneki something frowned, but said nothing. Ayato took his time recovering. “Sorry. It’s just… You might very well be talking to one of your students.” It was Kaneki’s turn to gape with his mouth open, and Ayato laughed again, surprising himself. He didn’t laugh much, especially not around strangers. It must definitely be the scent on the man.

“Oh. So you’re my student. Um…” Kaneki seemed lost for a moment, then suddenly bowed. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kaneki Ken, your lecturer for Literature Level 2 this year. I hope we get along.”

So his name is Ken. Ayato liked how the name sounded in his head and barely managed to stop himself from saying it out loud. Instead, he stood and bowed as well. “I’m Kirishima Ayato. And, sensei?” Kaneki looked at him questioningly. “I’m lost too, actually.”

Ken’s eyes open at the arrival of the final train of the night. Finally; that was probably an unanimous thought of all the working adults who have just gotten off work themselves. 

The door opens and Ken steps in, taking a brief second to enjoy the sudden wave of cold air. There are many empty seats; this was the second stop, after all. Looking around to ensure there were no injured or elderly, he finally settles himself in a seat, shifting until he finds a comfortable (or most comfortable, at least) position in his business suit.

Ken finally allows himself a sigh. Friday. Thank goodness; this week had been hell. Twelve stops to go, and he would be home. A warm shower, microwaved food, and a good night’s sleep. Then tomorrow -- No, he won’t think about tomorrow yet. The thought of his first official day at work made his stomach churn.

Where was he? Ah, yes. His soft, fluffy bed. Yes, that sounded wonderful, so wonderful that his eyes grew heavy again and he began to dri...

Ayato is troubled.

His back is still drenched with sweat from rushing for the last train of the night. He wouldn’t have bothered usually, but school reopens tomorrow, so he wouldn’t risk it. It had been a ten minute run from the library and he was so worn out he went for the first empty seat he saw available. 

Not long after, a white haired man in a business suit sat on the seat next to his... and began dozing off. 

On his shoulder.

Ayato’s heart thumped; the man smelled good, very much unlike the teachers in his school who only lazed off their jobs and were always stinking of cigarettes. For some reason, the man, Kaneki -- at least, that was what the tag pinned above his chest pocket he likely forgot to remove read -- smelled like home, like someone Ayato knew he’d never let go of if he just had the chance to learn about Kaneki.

He inhales the scent deeply, reminiscing his childhood days, and lets his head lean against the sleeping man’s, finding a sense of security from him.

The last train of the night is peaceful.

People listening to music through their headphones; people sleeping; people eagerly waiting for the stop which will lead them home. 

And just two strangers finding comfort against each other.

6:14am. One can see the sun coming out in the far horizon.

In a certain room of a certain apartment in a certain part of Japan, a couple lay in bed after their 4th round that night -- or morning; whatever.

“If we’re done, get off me,” Ayato grumbles. He’s all sweaty and it’s humid -- he needs a shower, then sleep; not his lover trying to get his wet with sweat body on his back right after sex. To begin with, spooning had never been on his list of things he liked. Of course, that doesn’t stop Ken from doing just that.

As if on cue, a pair of well built arms wrap around Ayato’s naked waist just as he tried to get out of bed, locking him in place. Without saying, that very “place” is against Ken’s chest. Ken’s sweaty chest. Ayato groans as his lover’s head drops onto his shoulder, wet hair tackling his cheek.

“It’s too early for this shit,” he objects halfheartedly. Ayato knows he’s already lost, but no harm in trying, right? Ken simply nuzzles against him with a just as halfhearted ‘mmm’, Ayato’s hands now in his somewhat larger ones, toying with them -- tugging, rubbing, entwining his fingers with his own. “You can shower later. It’s Sunday, after all,” Ken drawls, whispering the words into Ayato’s ears, making him shiver.

Ayato sigh, and relaxes completely, letting himself sink against Ken. “I guess,” he says, tone slightly annoyed and clearly filled with reluctance. Ken chuckles. Ah, he’s sulking. 

“Ayato.”

“What now?”

A kiss lands on Ayato’s lips, soft, light, quick.

“Good morning.”

“Yeah, yeah. Mornin’,” the boy replies, not looking at Ken, returning the grip he felt on his fingers.

“The boy picks up the a... apple? and takes a bit --”

“Bite.”

“-- out of it.”

Ken couldn’t hold it in; he laughed. It was adorable how the 17 year old boy read a paragraph out of an elementary textbook with that much awkwardness.

“...Shut up,” Ayato grumbled, clearly embarrassed. Why the fuck do I have to do this, anyways? I’ve done perfectly fine the past 17 years of my life without knowing how to read! 

...Luckily, he had a trick up his sleeve. It would probably be even more embarrassing than the paragraph he just read, but at the thought of Ken’s reaction, Ayato decided to go for it.

“Well, how about this then? I learnt it from the TV earlier today...”

He couldn’t hide his smirk as he tossed the book onto the table and put one knee on the couch where Ken sat. The man stopped his soft chuckles when Ayato wrapped both arms around his neck, smiling down at him. “Ayato?” They were close enough that Ken could feel Ayato’s breath.

If what’s on the TV’s true, then now...

“I love you.”

Ken flushed. It’s the first time Ayato ever said anything close to hinting any form of affection. To say it so suddenly’s just --

“--Ha!” Ayato burst out laughing. “You should look at your face right now! Fuck; it’s so hilarious...”

“Is that so?” As he said that, Ken stood, at the same time lifting Ayato up, which forced their bodies to touch.

“W-w-woah! What?!” He’s met with a quick, light kiss on the lips, followed by a smirk of Ken’s own. “I love you too.”

"Mmm… This looks good too. No, wait, this brand is cheaper…"

In a typical month-to-month situation where Haise does grocery shopping, the man is met with just one tiny problem.

Money.

Being responsible for the Quinxs naturally included covering for their living expenses — or more specifically, Saiko’s expenses. For some reason, she’s spent twice the amount she did on sweets in the past month, which was way past Haise’s calculations. As such, he’d got to make do with whatever little amount he’s left until the CCG gave him his next paycheck.

At the mere thought of more bills soon to come, Haise felt like grabbing boxes of Panadol. Instead, he sighed and reached for the cheapest brand of coffee. It wouldn’t taste good, but it’d have to do…

“…?!” The moment Haise’s hands reached for the last bottle of the cheapest, plus on discount coffee powder likely in the whole of the large supermarket, another covered over his.

Haise stilled for a long moment but the other party made no notion suggesting the removal of his hand. Puzzled, he turned his head to have a good luck at his ‘competitor’. A teenager...? He was fit for his age. Actually, what is his age? Seventeen? Eighteen at most? Yet his eyes carried the sorrow of a dozen men. 

And those very eyes that were fixated on Haise seemed to suck him in — they were filled with so much sorrow, regrets, and was that nostalgia he sensed?

If one had to describe the boy, he definitely wasn’t the type of guy you’d expect to see in a corner of the supermarket grabbing for the final bottle of cheap coffee powder. Ah, though Haise could say the same for himself.

“U-Um…? Did you want this? It’s fine, y-you can have it…” He tried for a friendly smile, but when the boy’s expression betrayed no emotion, it melted away awkwardly. 

“...”

.........

“Excuse me… Won’t you please let go of my hand…?” At some point, the boy had wrapped his fingers tightly around Haise’s palm so that he was holding it, as though it was something dear to him. Strangely enough, the boy’s fingers were trembling. Yet at the same time, they were warm and, in fact, comforting. It made Haise want to return the action, to reassure the trembling fingers which clung onto him.

Why?

But just as Haise was about to throw himself into yet another one of his infamous daydreams, the boy finally seemed to realise what he’d done and snatched back his hand in a frenzy. His gaze shifted to the shelves, no longer meeting Haise’s eyes. Not even once.

“Sorry about that. You shouldn’t buy cheap coffee like this; it leaves a bad aftertaste. You should know better than me.” He reached into a bag he seemed to have been carrying around with him, and held out an expensive brand of coffee powder even Haise recognised. The man took it, confused.

“Take this instead. Don’t worry; I’ve already paid for that.”

Then, as curtly as he appeared before Haise, the boy left him in a daze, mumbling something along the lines of ‘Ah, it might be raining soon’.

“‘You should know better than me’, he said…” What had that meant? Could he possibly…? 

Haise wasn’t sure. He didn’t have any proof, or leads at that. But somehow his gut told him so. That he couldn’t just let that boy go. He rushed to the counter, his basket much more empty than it should’ve been, paid for whatever was in it, and rushed out of the supermarket.

“—! Hey! Wait up!” With two bags, one in each hand, Haise somehow managed to catch up with the boy who had his back to him. He was easy to spot with purple hair, after all.

“...Could you possibly know who I am... --- no, who I was?”

Silence. Haise felt the atmosphere tense, and he gulped. “--We... were acquaintances at best, I suppose.”

At best? Then he gasped. So he did know me! Haise opened his mouth to ask more then stopped himself. Do I really want to know...? An image of the ‘past him’ who haunts him nearly every night made Haise bite down on his lip. What if that’s how he was before he was Sasaki Haise?

“So you’ve been brainwashed, huh.”

When Haise looked up, the boy had that expression again. Why did it hurt him so much to see that expression?

“...Wait no, knowing you, that’s definitely possible.” He sighed. “That’s why we haven’t been able to find you for so long, huh...”

We? With each sentence the boy spoke it only made Haise more confused.

“You don’t remember me, huh...” 

“Pardon?”

“Hey, are you happy now?”

“!” Haise was caught off guard. He didn’t know how to respond. Was he happy?

“...I --”

“Oiiiiii! Sassssssaaaan!” It was Shirazu’s voice, getting closer by the second.

“If I do this, will you remember me?” In a blink of an eye, the boy was in front of Haise, and gave him the slightest of a peck on the cheek. When he leaned back, Haise had the hallucination that his eyes were that of a ghoul. It was definitely a hallucination, because the next second, he was just a boy from his past again. 

“...Bakaneki.”

A boy who made his heart thump like mad.

A tap on the shoulder made Haise turn and there Shirazu was, all smiles. “Sassan, you took so long I came out to find you!”