ROXY: *She had just gotten done speaking with Nepeta online, and the knock at her door has her hopping up to answer it eagerly, though her face falls a bit when she sees that yes, it is Kanaya, but no, she's alone* he aint around???
KANAYA: It Seems Not
KANAYA: I Cant Reach Him
ROXY: hrmmmgh
ROXY: aight i guess we gotta brave this on our lonesome as a twosome
ROXY: *begins to step outside and close the door behind her*
KANAYA: *She steps back, shrugging.*
KANAYA: Oh Well
KANAYA: At Least It Will Be Quick That Way
ROXY: exactly
KANAYA: Perhaps We Can Engage Sollux Another Time
ROXY: oh we are DEF gonna engage him another time
ROXY: he cant remain a slippery dick forever
ROXY: *walking towards the terminal to type in her info*
KANAYA: *Confused about the 'slippery dick' line, but chooses not to ask and follows suit.*
KANAYA: Is Two The Minimum Number Of Players Or Can One Play A Game Alone
ROXY: well people be headin into cornland alone i dont see why nooooooooh my fuckin gawd
ROXY: *looking at the holoboard now*
ROXY: janey no why this
KANAYA: *squints* Is That Your Friend
KANAYA: Why Is She In There
ROXY: i could not begin to tell u
ROXY: god dammit janey *baps her fist on the little shelf in minor frustration* burughrughugh get it together lalooooonde
ROXY: we got a chair to win
ROXY: *info is typed u go for it kanay*
KANAYA: *Raaaaises eyebrows.* Im Sure Your Friend Can Take Care Of Herself
KANAYA: *She enters her own information as quickly as possible.*
ROXY: oh no im totally sure
ROXY: just shes sposed to play another game w/ rose and john and blaaaaaah
ROXY: *starts off towards the escalators*
KANAYA: *She catches up and strides alongside Roxy.* It Seems Like Our Plans Have A Habit Of Falling Through
ROXY: yeahhhh *sighs, here comes the 10 minute escalator ride. lets uh... walk up them like theyre stairs to save time*
ROXY: who designed this crapola
KANAYA: Someone Who Really Doesnt Like Us
KANAYA: Since Theyre Clearly Able To Warp Space In Ways Advanced Beyond Even My Superior Society This Escalator Is Obviously Just For Laughs
ROXY: what else is new
ROXY: *boop boop climbin steps cue 80s power music*
KANAYA: *Roxy and Kanaya in color coordinated headbands and legwarmers.*
ROXY: *that is my dream come true*
KANAYA: You Are Armed Right
ROXY: whut
KANAYA: Do You Have A Weapon With You?
KANAYA: *She cocks an eyebrow at Roxy.*
ROXY: *lifts her hands to make magic fingers*
ROXY: right here maam
ROXY: i had a laser gun but i guess this place only lets u keep ONE of ur prior weapons and maybe fistkind was the best attempt at bare minimum
ROXY: im hopin i can win it back
ROXY: wbu?
KANAYA: *She reapplies her lipstick innocuously.* I Am Well Equipped
ROXY: *curious owo face ooooh*
ROXY: ima take your word for it im gettin a good vibe from the way u just said that all mysterious like
ROXY: *more magic fingers before she hops off the top of the escalator to look for the portal*
KANAYA: *She ducks her head and grins. It's nice to be appreciated.*
ROXY: *sweet kana;;*
[At the top you see another platform much like the one you just left, only this one has five empty portal stations. Only one of them has a keypad and hand-print sensor (for logging in) beside it though.]
ROXY: *gonna walk on over to this 'un*
ROXY: i wonder if u actually have to play to get thru to the counter like
ROXY: since they unlocked it before in general?
ROXY: not that i dont wanna play but hm
ROXY: *signs in*
[The portal is activated all the same with a piercing beep and a vortex of blue light. How cozy.]
KANAYA: *does the same* I Guess We Will See In A Minute
ROXY: would u like to do the honors or shall i *gestures to portal*
KANAYA: *She tilts her head, shrugs at Roxy, and then steps through.*
ROXY: oop
ROXY: *Waits a moment before stepping in after her*
[Once you enter the portal, you will be eveloped with a strange prickling sensation as you fall down, down, down, as though the dark is composed of tiny needles and little more. You don’t quite remember hitting the ground, but once you are all inside, you find yourselves on your feet in a dimly lit space. In front of you, there is a sliver of light, like the crack between two large doors. All at o
open to reveal a powder-pink … boutique? Do you step out to explore?]
KANAYA: *She steps out to explore.*
ROXY: *To explore she steps out.*
ROXY: oh wow so this is a mall
ROXY: or so im assumin
ROXY: a shopping center
ROXY: a center for which u go to do ur shoppin
KANAYA: Hm
KANAYA: Its Very
KANAYA: Pink
ROXY: ;w;
KANAYA: *She looks at Roxy, the pink human, as she says this.*
ROXY: ;//w//;
ROXY: this is gonna be so nice aaaaa
KANAYA: *She rubs her hands together, similarly enthused by the unconventional human clothing surrounding her.*
KANAYA: Where Do We Start
[Before an answer can be uttered, you hear a distant squeaking sound. It’s coming from the wheels of a mobile mannequin, which is currently slowly advancing towards you, its prim and proper pose unmoving and its empty face looking up and away from you. Silence.]
ROXY: ...............................................................................
ROXY: :c
ROXY: sweet baby jesus in a frilly-ass carriage what
ROXY: i knew there were mannies but thats just ridic
KANAYA: Are Those The Ones Which Are Supposed To Be Threatening
KANAYA: *Scoff.*
ROXY: its like a cheap horror flick im
ROXY: *actually starts laughing*
[For a moment, it does nothing. Then, in a swift snap, its head turns towards you and nothing else. Where its eyes and mouth should be light up blue as if there are lightbulbs beneath white plastic, flaring in time with the automated voice that fills the room around you, as though there are speakers all around rather than coming from solely this object.]
ROXY: *stops laughing* O.O
Welcome to Divine Destination, your premier fashion experience! Feel free to browse, but remember not to put together anything /too/ shabby - That simply won’t do, and the judges won’t like it at all. Have fun and happy dressing!
ROXY: .... *starts laughing again*
KANAYA: *She snorts, but the speed with which it had turned on did alarm her.* Thank You For Your Assistance
ROXY: *tries to stifle her laughter as she tosses the mannequin a chicken nod as if it could actually be communicated with.* cmon lets get this show on the road (omg)
KANAYA: *Kan begins to browse with practiced efficiency, whisking through the racks at a brisk speed.*
KANAYA: Hm
KANAYA: Hmmmmmmm
KANAYA: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ROXY: hm indeed
ROXY: *she isn't as practiced at this but she does look for a cute top first and foremost*
KANAYA: *She pulls out a fringed turtleneck and holds it up.* Is This Considered ... Fashionable On Earth
ROXY: *glances over and starts to answer, before slowly closing her mouth*
ROXY: if ur askin me personally ima say no to that one
KANAYA: So I Hoped
KANAYA: *She replaces the top in the rack of shame and continues looking.*
ROXY: *manages to find a black tank top and a loose looking pink sweater, knit to be somewhat sheer* ooooh im diggin this
[Once you settle on a singular item, it will disappear from your hands, but you will feel as though it is still with you… Because it’s in this game’s version of a sylladex.]
ROXY: *it went poof! ah!*
ROXY: ok i guess im usin that *mutters to self and turns to survey the skirt section*
KANAYA: *Kanaya notices this, arches an eyebrow, and then picks up a black t-shirt, which reminds her of home but is probably more clean, and a red leather jacket. On Alternia we do not have this, but it feels like it's made from the skin of a fallen animal. How badass, and also cool.*
ROXY: *does keep peering over at Kanaya, and when she sees the jacket she gasps* yooooooo
ROXY: gurl
ROXY: pleeeeease pleasepls
ROXY: (thatd look so gr8 on u)
ROXY: *slightly hides behind a rack* not to like try and influence ur decision or anythin i just think thatd look rly cool oop *skirts now*
KANAYA: Really
KANAYA: Im Happy To Oblige
ROXY: *peeps* your choice *gone again*
KANAYA: *The jacket and the t-shirt disappear from her hands, and become one with her soul.*
ROXY: *a beautiful union*
KANAYA: Do We Know Anything About These Judges Or What Criteria They Use To Judge Us
KANAYA: I Came Here To Win
ROXY: i think the goal is just to look about as hot as the cosmos will allow
KANAYA: I Can Do That
ROXY: ima try to keep up omg
ROXY: *sings* (dis girl is on fiyah)
KANAYA: *She pokes a pair of repurposed jeans flip-flops with the toe of her shoe.*
KANAYA: I Think Some Scrap Material Was Dropped By The Manufacturers
KANAYA: It Smells Strange
ROXY: *leans past a rack to look where she's looking after having grabbed a short white skirt* wth are those
KANAYA: Some Things Are Better Left Unknown
KANAYA: *While looking at some longer skirts and dresses, she finds a very nice jupe which is ankle-length but split up the side to mid-thigh. It's both lovely and more practical for action sequences, but it reminds her a little too much of her dancestor.*
ROXY: *goes to look for a pair of leggings or something -- she never really had the chance to experiment with fashion and is at the moment just sticking to what she knows. She does kind of want to exchange the stuff she has for other things by now and wonders if that's even possible.*
KANAYA: *In a feat of daring, she picks up a knee-length skater skirt and, although she feels a little indecisive about it still, she carries on looking for shoes and ACCESSORIES. After a moment, the skirt vanishes from her hands.*
ROXY: *It's time to bustle on over to the other stuff they have on the wall before accessories; that's a cute polkadot bra and she ain't passing it up, you can't make her. Whoosh, gone. Please have leg warmers, oh accessory section. Please feed my 80s addiction.*
[And if you’ll look to your left — the mannequin is no longer positioned at the doorway you entered through, and is instead much closer to you all than is probably comfortable. It doesn’t say anything yet.]
KANAYA: *Kanaya does not miss the mannequin. She is tracking it in her peripheral vision. She sidles up to Roxy.*
KANAYA: Are There Any Rules To This Game
ROXY: *turns around to look around the room, blinking at the dummy* uhh
ROXY: maybe theres a timeframe
KANAYA: I Get The Sense That If There Are Rules That Robot Will Be The One Enforcing Them
ROXY: probs
ROXY: :I
ROXY: i think we should just try to hurry up anyway maybe
ROXY: *rifling for shoes after having claimed her leg warmers ah yess her fave gray*
KANAYA: Whats The Purpose Of The Woolen Tubes
ROXY: u dont kno legwarmers???
KANAYA: I Know Socks
KANAYA: Are These Socks For People Without Feet
ROXY: no omg *laughs* theyre usually decorative and you can bunch em up on your calves over ur shoes if u have like boots or smth
ROXY: its a weird aesthetic
ROXY: i just like em i dunno *shrug*
KANAYA: *She nods in understanding.* You Have Cold Legs
ROXY: *opens her mouth. closes it. just laughs* at times yes
ROXY: but not with these bad boys *wiggles happily*
ROXY: *oh my gosh these white boots are Superb*
KANAYA: *Approval. Stores this knowledge away for later and considers, in the moment, a pair of boots and a pair of Mary Janes.*
ROXY: pssst
ROXY: if u got the jacket from before u might wanna go full badass biker chick for this part
KANAYA: Whats A Biker Chick
ROXY: *jaw drop*
ROXY: hot babes on motorcycles
ROXY: its just the vibe u give w/ leather jackets usually
ROXY: and they wear boots but i might be biased why am i givin u pssst's omg im sorry
KANAYA: *Shades on. Just kidding, she has no shades. But if she did, she would put them on now.*
KANAYA: You Dont Have To Psst Me
[The mannequin is like breathing down Roxy's neck. Are you cheating.]
KANAYA: Its Only The Two Of Us In Here
[Really.]
KANAYA: ...
KANAYA: And That Thing
ROXY: *ghibli shudder*
ROXY: eeeeugh *scurries away from it*
KANAYA: *She grabs the boots and walks past the mannequin, slowly. She is giving it CHALLENGER EYES.*
[Once Kanaya picks up her final piece, whatever it may be, the mannequin speaks again.] Splendid! Right on schedule! All models, please report back stage to get ready for the show.
ROXY: *squee* sounds like its catwalk time! never been on a real catwalk oh man
ROXY: *looks around* wheres backstage....
KANAYA: Um
KANAYA: Not Behind Us At Least
[And as if they hold the answer, more mannequins show up. They are advancing on you like ice cold zombies. They want to guide you, is all.]
[They're so excited to see your outfits, really.]
ROXY: *bursts out laughing again* holy tits
KANAYA: *Her lip curls at the sight. Kanaya doesn't like robots. She bounces her lipstick in her palm.*
KANAYA: Are So Many Required
ROXY: i guess there IS a timeframe
ROXY: cmon cmon *skdaddling*
KANAYA: *Skedaddles gracefully, casting the mannequins icy looks.*
[It appears they are all coming from different directions except for the one they apparently want you to go in.]
KANAYA: *Goes in that direction, sticking out her elbows and walking quickly to keep them a healthy distance away.*
ROXY: *still snickering as they go along with this*
[They have successfully herded you into a dark space behind a curtain. A moment passes before Kanaya finds herself seated in an empty audience, and Roxy is standing at the mouth of a catwalk, behind another curtain, decked out in her new 80's duds. The curtain is drawn, and spotlights/camera flashes from nowhere assail you. Walk, walk, fashion baby.]
ROXY: *all this abrupt portaly zooping*
ROXY: *she stands there for a second before doing her best attempt at being a burrito of stylish and graceful, sashayin' away. Please give good score.*
KANAYA: *Wow! Kanaya totally approves. She thinks Roxy looks super cute. Such a cute burrito. It evokes a certain aesthetic, to be sure, but one that Roxy pulls off flawlessly. However Kanaya is not a judge so all she can do is beam up at Roxy.*
ROXY: *that's such a nice encouraging smile roxy is just /)o//w//o(\ as she turns around to go back up the catwalk*
[What a trend setter. Next up is Kanaya; it’s less than graceful how Roxy is suddenly tossed into the chair she was sitting in, and she’s tossed on stage and suddenly in her new outfit. Luckily she's more graceful than all of us, ever.]
KANAYA: *Kanaya sucks in a deep breath, pushes her shoulders back, and advances down the catwalk at a stately pace. She only swings her hips a little.*
ROXY: *leans her elbow on the armrest and watches in slight awe like really how does one person manage to be so glam*
KANAYA: *At the end of the catwalk, she pauses, rests one hand on her hip, and then returns backstage, blushing a little. She has just lived a very small dream.*
[And now, both of you are back up on stage. The cameras aren’t flashing as wildly as before, and the spotlight will fall upon you one at a time as your score is announced via the surrounding speakers. Roxy; pass! Kanaya; pass! Congratulations!]
ROXY: *whoa vertigo jfc WE CAN WALK YA KNOW*
ROXY: pass??? what about the numbers
KANAYA: This Is A Copout
ROXY: give us our rings dangit >:T
[Be careful what you wish for. After the scores are announced, suddenly there is a single spotlight on a figure in the fake audience, a far distance away. It is the mannequin, and it’s the only thing you can see in the dark. It turns sharply to face Roxy, and all at once, a slot opens where its mouth should be and it begins shooting rings directly at her. Hope you brought your cup.]
ROXY: *she remembered the warning, and pointed at the thing to yell AHA! before it began shooting the rings, but unfortunately she can't quite catch them all in the cup when they're being flung at that speed.*
ROXY: oh jesus h christ on the croSS OW
KANAYA: Oh Shoot
KANAYA: *She protects her face with one hand and tries to pick up some rings with the other.*
ROXY: nonono i got them brace yourself for yours *rubbing her arm before kneeling to scoop up the rings* this is some shit ommfg
KANAYA: Uh Oh
KANAYA: I Dont Have A Cup
ROXY: just !!!! *points*
[Here come Kanaya's rings.]
KANAYA: *She holds out her hands and tries to catch as many as she can.*
ROXY: phewwwww
ROXY: how many u get??
[You both got 15.]
KANAYA: *She sifts through them, mouthing the numbers.* Fifteen
KANAYA: What About You
ROXY: same same *plinks them into the cup, and holds it out to Kanaya for her to put hers in there, too.* thats a grand total of 66! this is great ahhh
[The lights shift back to the boutique setting and you realize you have been in there all along. That was trippy. If you inspect the place again, you will find that a new space has opened up. A simple counter off to the side.]
KANAYA: How Many Did We Need
ROXY: we only needed like 20 for the chair i think and we had more than that already
ROXY: but its good to have as many as possible
KANAYA: Of Course
KANAYA: *Money money money. It's a rich man's world. She starts towards the counter.* Is This The Place You Were Talking About
ROXY: *looks over and all but jumps to follow her* must be
[Behind this counter, the mannequin stands. But it’s wearing a bright pink wig. Hm.]
ROXY: gurl that do is so last millenium
KANAYA: Its Very Bold
[The computerized voice resounds again] Welcome to the Inventory. This is the station where you may purchase items of interest via the gold rings that you have hopefully been collecting all throughout the games. Do you wish to view the catalog?
ROXY: heck yeah cmon show me whatcha workin with *sings it*
[A large screen lights up behind the mannequin, and its upturned hand appears now as though it had been pointing to this all along. On the screen, items are listed beside a number that represents how many rings it is worth. Wheelchair, 20. Robotic arm, 25, obsolete. Robotic pants, 30. Arm, 35, obsolete. Eye, 40, obsolete. Two eyes, 45. Full restore, 50.]
ROXY: robotic pants
KANAYA: I Wonder If It Refers Solely To The Pants Or To The Legs As Well
ROXY: im hopin its legs too but? jfc
ROXY: can u tell us about the full restore?
If you select Full Restore, it will regenerate proper function to all aspects of the chosen recipient.
ROXY: :///// im tempted to say lets just see if we can get that for tav but he says he wants to be involved so like?
KANAYA: ... Hm
KANAYA: Is It Worth It To Buy The Chair And Then Come Back So Soon For The Restore
ROXY: is it worth it to wait when he might not have to??? i feel like he deserves to idk do somethin for himself like he wants
ROXY: he seems p set on it
KANAYA: All Right
KANAYA: *She shrugs.*
ROXY: *sigh shrug im gonna count out 20 rings now* one wheelchair pls
[The mannequin begins to emit a strange buzzing sound. Its mouth slot opens again. And suddenly it is sucking the rings back into its mouth like a vaccuum of death. Once they are all taken in, the slot closes again, and you hear nothing but clanging inside the mannequin before it stops, and out from its mouth spurts a small slip of paper. It’s a receipt. Take it.]
ROXY: im thoroughly disturbed but only in like a rly weird underlying way
KANAYA: I Have Never Been Inside Such A Self Sustaining Store
KANAYA: *She takes the receipt.*
[And as if by magic, a wheelchair begins to materialize beside you as if pixels swam through the air to conjoin together. Glorious. It is perfectly fitted and even has a cool brown backpack on the backside of it. Not that that's worth anything.]
ROXY: !
ROXY: aaaah finally
KANAYA: Here It Is
KANAYA: *She's come full circle.*
ROXY: *gonna go to captcha this sucker* hes gonna be so happyyyy
ROXY: i hope
ROXY: well
ROXY: its one step
ROXY: towards? bein happy?
ROXY: mobility hurrah
[The mannequin begins buzzing again. Out pops another receipt.]
KANAYA: Well I Would Say The Steps Will Have To Wait Until At Least The Robotic Pants Stage
ROXY: *laughs an abruptly goose-like laugh* omfg
ROXY: hey what *reaches for receipt*
[Once you take that, there will be another]
KANAYA: How Many Receipts Do We Even Need
ROXY: *brow dips as she takes that to read it too*
KANAYA: We Bought One Thing
ROXY: "perfect score: bonus unlocked!"
ROXY: they both say that
ROXY: we dun good aw yes
[The mannequin speaks again.]
You have unlocked a Bonus Achievement! For each perfect score, you have earned three minutes to freely gather additional items from the catalog. Starting countdown.
ROXY: *high pitched happy sound* dude we got SIX MINUTES lets go go go
KANAYA: *Her eyes widen fractionally.* !!!
KANAYA: *She goes, goes, goes.*
ROXY: *off they go go go*
ROXY: *roxy had been eyeing a dark blue ensemble from before, let's see if she can find it again...*
KANAYA: *Kanaya grabs all the clothes she had previously decided against, including the long skirt with the slit up the side and the Mary Jaes.*
ROXY: *Thank God for that*
ROXY: *I mean what*
KANAYA: *Smh*
ROXY: *six minutes is a pretty long time these are gonna be some happy chicas*
ROXY: *despite the cute short dresses she had taken a liking to she figures its probably wise to grab some pants too whoop*
KANAYA: *So true. Kanaya is being much more liberal with her choices than before.*
KANAYA: *After some hesitation, she picks up the jean sandals. For a souvenir.*
ROXY: *Oh, God. Roxy is reasonably certain she just grabbed a giant fucking sun hat.*
ROXY: *Why? We don't know.*
KANAYA: *There's no sun near here, Roxy.*
ROXY: *It's just so pretty :'c *
[The six minutes goes by accordingly. When your time is up, a siren blares throughout the place. If you raise your head to look, the mannequins will have begun to advance again. There are more than before. They are moving slightly faster.]
ROXY: o sugar honey iced tea
KANAYA: Lets Get Out Of Here
ROXY: dont gotta tell me twice *manages to grab a couple loose items before just dashing in the direction they were apparently supposed to go*
KANAYA: *She runs towards the exit, casting frequent glances over her shoulder.*
[You are herded back into the entrance you came from, in through the open doors of the changing room. The mannequin that greeted you is there again, its raised hand now appearing like a wave.]
ROXY: SAYONARA BITCH *skids into the closet*
KANAYA: *Cheeky wave at the mannequin.*
[The doors slam shut, and all at once, there is a sensation akin to falling /up/ along with the usual prickling, and then you will be deposited back in the game hub. An impersonal robot voice boops out an echoing “Game complete.” accompanied by a muted equally robotic trumpet fanfare, and then you find yourselves walking in slow motion out of the portal and back into the game hub. Breeze and everything.]
KANAYA: *This is all a little disorienting, although she's getting used to it.*
ROXY: *She is glad she had gotten used to traveling by fenestrated plane or else she might be hurling right now*
ROXY: wowza
KANAYA: That Was A Lot Of Fun
KANAYA: Despite The Aggressive Sales Clerks
ROXY: yeah oh my god *laughing* the ring barfing was real
ROXY: it was so real
ROXY: jeez
ROXY: did you get to grab anythin really good??? *tilts head*
KANAYA: Yes I Think So
KANAYA: Have You Ever Seen Something So Bad Its Good
ROXY: oh no
ROXY: pls dont tell me
KANAYA: Well If You Really Dont Want To Know
ROXY: nonono i wanna know i wanna know
ROXY: im just sayin i think i have a gues
ROXY: guess*
KANAYA: *She produces the denim sandals and shows them off.* Were These Your Guess
ROXY: *grabs her face*
ROXY: *her own face*
ROXY: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooo
ROXY: you gotta wear them
KANAYA: I Will Not
KANAYA: They Are For Showcasing Only
ROXY: u have to do it kanay
KANAYA: Can You Imagine
ROXY: someday
ROXY: ur gonna wear them
ROXY: and its gonna be amazing
KANAYA: When Oinkbeasts Fly
KANAYA: *She rolls her eyes.* What Did You Get
ROXY: *laughing* uhhh
ROXY: *sifts thru fashion inventory*
ROXY: *pulls out this big sun hat and plops it on her head. its quite floppy*
ROXY: this strikes as highly impractical
ROXY: and yet
ROXY: irresistible
KANAYA: *She flicks the brim gently.*
KANAYA: Its Imposing
ROXY: *strikes a pose*
ROXY: could i kill a man in this hat
KANAYA: Yes
ROXY: life goals
KANAYA: You Could Kill A Man In Anything But Especially In The Hat
ROXY: SB)
ROXY: *takes it off and tucks it away*
ROXY: i think we should give tavros his chair now dont u
ROXY: ;3;
KANAYA: It Seems About Time
