#kanade

Before I was stuck in a purgatory

Of confusion and misunderstanding

But now I am certain that I am in hell

And I'm starting to understand why

The incomplete me has not opened my eyes

She has ripped my eyelids off

I can't close them

I am forced to observe

But I can't understand

It's all just pain and suffering and pain and pain and pain and pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain

I can hear dogs howling and yelping and squeeling

I can hear crying and screaming and cries of terror

I can feel the oozing blood sticking and clinging to my skin

Underneath my fingernails, in my hair, staining my clothes

I can hear laughing

And I see my sister

And I try to scream or cry or say anything

But all I hear is laughing

And I wonder if I'm the one laughing

Laughing because I deserve this

Laughing so I deserve this