Name: Poly-chromatic Evenings
Pairing: Jadekat (slight Jadekri)
Request: destinyofamerath
She had always wanted a room-mate. Perhaps not one like them, though.
Jade had always wanted a small, dingy apartment that fell apart at the seams. Of course, that is the top thing any girl could ever want in life, a shoddy room like a cardboard box entrapping her in its peeling wallpaper and must. Her chest cavity hurt mildly in response to her own sarcasm, grimacing as she breaks out the wallpaper adhesive to stick the floral pattern back to its original standing. Her school books are scattered around the bed, the only decent thing in her wooden womb-like encasement, titled Nuclear Physics, Quantum Theory, and Rocket Science. Had it not been the only apartment complex in this side of town (so close to her old island, yet so goddamn far away) to offer Wi-Fi, she definitely would not be here.
If the state hadnāt demanded she take residence within the actual borders of the United States, she most definitely would not be here. But circumstances still stand, and she is left with one computer (the most high-tech one she had ever built), spending her own fortune on the rickety apartment that was equivalent to gum on the bottom of a Chanel high heel that is the city. Poppopās fortune wouldnāt kick in until the lawyers settled that yes, he made the money legally, and yes, she is his biologically-related granddaughter (as if his will didnāt matter for a second). Until then, it was this room and her and maybe a roommate if she could find one.
Jade had had to leave the bustle of her noisy, jungle-y island for the cluttered mess of a seven-story building. In a floor where the draft made the doors slam and the floors creaked in a manner that she was assured would give in if she put her full weight down, she was so. so. so lonely.
So she had asked Dave to see if any of his city friends (or suburb friends, hell, she wasnāt picky) needed a place. Itād been a full four weeks since theyād mentioned the topic and no one was close enough to watch movies or read books with on the weekends. The sound of turning page after page made her want to tear each one out individually and burn it in a large bonfire (maybe while playing the guitar aggressively, just burning it didnāt seem like enough).
Terrible, heart-aching loneliness aside, the fridge was getting empty, and she needed to hit up the grocery store for ramens and maybe a couple of eggs for tomorrowās breakfast.
Jade is in the middle of Food Lion when her cell rings, Roseās picture flashing up. She answers, a wide grin on her face. āRose! Hey, whatās up?ā On a whim, she picks up a box of Pecan Swirls and continues to push her cart.
Roseās response is almost instant, and Jade can hear the smile in her voice. āIt has come to my attention that a certain young woman by the name of Jade Harley is both single and in need of a roommate. While I wish I could grab at the opportunity, I am, sadly, taken already, and within my own apartment with Kanaya. Howeverā¦ā She trails off, and Jade hears her giggles on the other line.
āYouāve found someone? Oh my gosh, you totally did! Rose, donāt leave me hanging like this.ā Her frown is almost audible, and Rose laughs.
āKanaya has a friend around your age that needs a place in the city- his name is Karkat Vantas, and she says heās really cute-ā
In the background, Kanaya yells, āNo, I never said anything like that!ā
ā-and heāll pay the bills with you. Daveās offered him a place to stay for free, but itās really out of the way for him to be close to his moirail. To be honest, heās probably out of luck if you donāt accept.ā Rose moves the phone from her ear to speak to Kanaya, and Jade is left to debate.
If itās one of Kanayaās friends, she know he must be a great son of a bitch, because sheās really picky with her friends. To add to it, the six letter name scheme means heās also a troll (or a really odd human), and if Rose says heās cuteā¦ Thereās really no downside to that. āā¦Rose? Hey, are you still there?ā
Thereās a muffled hum before Rose responds. āYeah, I still am. So whatās your final answer?ā From her tone of voice, she already knows Jade loves the idea.
āOf course Karkat can be my roommate- what does he like? Does he like science? Guitars? Action movies?ā Thereās Roseās giggle again.
āI know heās a bit of a closet romantic, so I highly doubt the two of you will be Nuclear Pals, but Kanaya says you two act very similarly.ā
āGreat! Tell him to pop by whenever if he wants to move in.ā Her smile is hurting her cheeks and her eyes are squinted in an expression of ultimate happiness. She doesnāt care if he doesnāt like science or good movies or guitars- the fact that sheāll have someone to fill the quiet is more than enough.
When Karkat swings by, Jade is immediately taken back at the fact that, holy hell, the boy can really fill some silence. He never shuts up, and his negativity may be making the walls peel faster. But all of his insults never sound like insults, just like long, long jokes and she canāt help but laugh at all of them, even when heās being serious. After examining the room, he tells her it looks like a squeakbeastās waste chute after it had accidentally ingested a spicy taco.
She tells him that sheād just never had the incentive to fix it up- but if he wants, they could go shopping for other wallpaper.
He tells her that itās a shit apartment, but itās all that heās got to live in, so he might as well- and wallpaper be fucked, as long as no roaches crawl into his recuperacoon, heāll be fine.
She points around, showing him the kitchenette and the small round table with small stools surrounding it and the small television hooked up to a small DVD player/VCR. She even shows him the tiny bathroom. Everything in the whole fucking apartment is goddamn small.
He leaves to get his furniture (he had been crashing at Daveās, but had refused to continue on for free, and Dave refused to take his money), and, when the Strider household is dead silent, he lets out a loud groan. Kanaya had assured him that his new roomate was pleasant enough, and that was fine, but he thought sheād have a bit of spunk in her. Sheās awfully pretty, with white teeth like square minty gum and hair as dark as his, and living with her is certainly going to be a challenge.
Especially if he has to share her presence with Kankri.
Karkat moves in the next day, banging his gray fist against the door at the ungodly hour of 2am, and Jade wakes up, terrified of a burglar. She opens the door gun-first, and, seeings itās only Karkat, yells so loud the downstairs neighbors smack a broom against the ceiling and tell her to āshut the hell up, some people are trying to get a good nightās sleep, motherfuckerā.
With angry reluctance, she pulls in his two luggages (one packed only with clothing of the same style, with a variation of one or two suits for really fucking special occasions, the other with Kankriās clothing). He doesnāt help her, although the veins on her arms have popped up under her skin to let him know itās strenuous for her, and just works on picking up his deflated recuperacoon and the forty gallons of sopor slime into the apartment. It as a pain in the ass to even get this much sopor from the front desk, because his recuperacoon is big enough for a whole party of people (a manufacturerās error, and the one thing he canāt trade in for a smaller one), and now he has to haul ass to get it into the pod.
Jade calls over her shoulder, āDo you want your clothes in the closet?ā He grunts in affirmation, absentmindedly, before realizing something.
āWait, fuck donāt-ā Itās too late. Jade Harley, hot girl with a backbone of whom he is now completely enamored with, has now seen his crab-print underwear. He waits for her derisive criticism about his wriggler- esque attitude, but all he hears is a snort and she puts it in the drawer next to her underwear. She doesnāt give a shit, and is vaguely reminded of her own squiddle underwear, and continues to put away his clothes. Black long-sleeve after black long-sleeve, she soon finds a gem- a black tank top. It is literally the only other shirt he has. She makes a mental note to force him to go shopping with her.
Having dodged the metaphorical bullet, Karkat sets about inflating his recuperacoon, hooking the air pump to it and, painstakingly, pouring gallon after gallon into it. When he finishes, Jadeās letting out a low whistle, having completed her clothing duty. āDamn, is that your bed or a swimming pool?ā She mutters, and sheās completely right- sheād assumed heād have other furniture and had cleared the opposing side of the room to make way. His ācoon alone took up that space. She briefly wonders if she can get him a smaller one, before dismissing it, thinking of all the difficult paperwork involved.
āWhy, Snooty McHighBlood de Vernacular, Iām sorry that my only source of comfort in this Satanās asshole of an apartment is inconvenient for you.ā Heā¦growls? Jade cocks an eyebrow at that, reminding herself that she is, in fact, armed and dangerous if he decides to pull a move. She has half a mind to chuck her lamp at him- he decided to wake her up in the middle of the night and bust in like heās been living here for ages and like she doesnāt have an online test to take tomorrow.
āYou know where the fucking door is if my attitude is to your displeasure, princess.ā She makes her voice do the growly thing right back and Karkat has to refrain himself from smiling a bit at that. Her growl is just the right sound for her alto voice- like sheād practiced it, because he knows humans donāt naturally growl. If thereās anything he likes about the mutated fuck-up of a life he lives, itās finding a good verbal-sparring partner. Looks like he really did well rooming with Jade- not that he would admit so.
He canāt even come up with a better insult, even though sheās the brain-fried one and heās nocturnal, his thinkpan isnāt knocking gears together correctly in her presence. He grunts in response, and tries so goddamn hard to ignore the twitch of her nose and her narrowing eyes. His yellow scleras follow her as she climbs back into bed, noting how trusting she is of him, until her middle finger sails out from underneath the pillow. Her voice contains the heaviest trace of exhaustion heās ever heard. āFucking get to sleep oh my god Iām so fucked for that test tomorrow and you ruined it. Just climb into your alien slime pod and pass out cold and I better not see or hear you for the next twelve hours.ā
Karkat opens his mouth to retort, but the lines of anger have disappeared from her brow, her lips parted, and her breathing evened out. Left with a comatose human, he resigns himself to sleep.
Jade wakes up to a troll other than Karkat in her room.
She shrieks, and then draws her gun, the target a bright-red sweater with dull nubs for horns fixing eggs on her hot plate in the kitchen. He turns around when he hears her hiss through her teeth, and he looks a lot like Karkat, a little too much like Karkat, but there are many differences that she notices right away. His eyes are relaxed, his eyebrows set higher on his head, his crooked fangs poking out from his top lip. When he speaks, itās in a lower vibrato in comparison to Karkatās fortissimo, but his expressions are remotely the same.
āAh, yes, you are the miss that Karkat is staying with, correct? Jade Harley, the human. Now, I did notice that you were looking quite hungry in your slumber and decided to fix you the nutritious breakfast of scrambled cluckbeast eggs and oinkbeast slices, however it appears that you are only in possession of one of the two items. You are also severely lacking in the healthy beverages section as well. I am quite aware of human food traditions, though my cooking may not be up to par-ā
Jade smells smoke and quickly hurries to unplug the hot plate as the eggs blackened. With the threat of burning the complex down gone, she could get to the bottom of Karkatās apparent twin. āSo, who are you? I donāt think I handed out the key to anyone other than Karkat.ā
There is a pause as the yellow star of his fingernail finds its way to his teeth, a nervous habit he hadnāt been able to kick just yet. āDid he not tell you? Both Karkat and I are in need of shelter while we both care for our respective moirails. Seeing as we are close in relation-ā He licks his lips and pulls his fingernail away. ā-We deemed it fit to share this apartment with you. I will, of course, stay within my boundaries and avoid all of your triggers- Iāve already taken into consideration the common human trigger of being woken up violently. I assumed that having you wake up to a pleasant meal would be sufficient in waking you up so that we could talk, but it appears that I have missed that basket in the extreme.ā
Oh damn, and she thought Karkat could talk up a storm. Kankri could obviously kick Karkatās ass in a talk-off, but at least he was kind and considerate. Jade couldnāt even remember the last time someone had made her breakfast. She smiles at him, her heart beating rapidly in her chest, moving to take the spatula away from him. āI guess since you messed up, Iāll make you some breakfast, okay? Eggs sound good?ā
As she scraped the eggs into the trashcan at the end of the aisle, Kankri reassessed her. Karkat had complained hours on end about her, how hoity-toity she was, how she thought she could wave a gun around, but, underneath that, he had obviously harbored different feelings on the human. Kankri could now see why, as she cast a glance in his direction, awaiting his answer. Itās been awhile since heās been at a loss for words, but sheās looking at him like heās the sun in the middle of her room, and he stutters out a mild āuh yeah sureā. He pulls his sweater over his nose to hide his blush, wishing Porrim had made more material into the sweater for him to hide in.
She cracks open an egg, continuing to talk to him as she scrambled them. āIs there anyway we can send Karkatās grumpy ass on his merry way? Heās obviously not happy here and Iām sure thereās an open room downstairs or something. Youāre so much nicer.ā And a lot cuter with that sweater pulled over your nose like a Kindergartener. Jade smiles to herself, continuing to cook the eggs.
If she would stop saying and doing things that made her the cute equivalent to a small barkbeast, he might be able to not trip over his words like he was losing at double dutch. āWell, brother does have quite the difficult being separated from me, emotional attachments and all, so weāre never gone for too long. To add to that, he appeared to at least be tolerable of your personality. You two acted better together than him and our previous roommate, Dave, thatās a definite. Dave certainly was the tolerable one, so Karkat never was fond of him, he likes someone who gets pissed off you know-ā He drones on and on and, at one point, she shuts him out, deposits the food onto two plates, and seats herself at the dining table.
The food shuts him up for about five minutes, before heās back to talking about Daveās āhuman issues, trigger warning: species difference, hormonal issues, teenage human malesā¦ā
Still, heās better than Karkat.
Mid-afternoon rolls around, and, with her nose in a textbook, having completed her test (getting a 96%, when she couldāve made an 100% if she had not been so damn tired), Jade hears Karkatās shouts from the bathroom. Funny, she never heard the door open, but she mightāve been distracted by the enthralling chapter of Nucleo-science.
He comes out of the shower, grumbling to himself, āSneaky bastard trying to take up my fucking sun-time, I swear Iād cull the bitch if I could. Now itās night and what the shit can you do at night? Nothing good. I just wanted my six hours of non-lethal sun, maybe have watched a movie, but nooo.ā He hopes Kankri can hear, hopes heās not napping, because damn if this morning didnāt piss him off. Obviously Karkat had a weird red/black thing going for Jade and here Kankri comes, playing the sympathetic and tragic older ābrotherā, like the complete asshole he is. He is well-aware that Kankri plays by nicer rules. It doesnāt make him any less of an asshole.
Not even batting an eye, and not having heard his banter, Jade calls out, āHey, Karkat.ā She turns the page, scanning the information and memorizing bits and pieces.
āHey Harley.ā Seeing as she isnāt looking at him, he takes the moment to change clothes behind her back. He has his gray pants on, and is about to shuck on a shirt when Jade unexpectedly turns to face him.
She sees his back, of course, but that is not something she could complain about. Her favorite parts on a guy were his shoulders, and, as Karkat pulled his shirt over his head, she most definitely admired his back muscles, adorned with only a small diagonal scar on his lower back. When he turns around, she makes as if she saw nothing, going back to her reading. He shuffles over, looking down over her shoulder at the text. āā¦What the fuckā¦āNuclear Physics and the Inner Workings of Plutoniumā.ā His nose scrunches up as he attempts to read it, but it looks English, but with complex words he canāt read. He cringes when he realizes that Kankri would be able to read this without a problem. āShit, are you working on a Nobel Peace Prize or something? Please tell me you arenāt using me as an experiment, Dr. Frankenstein.ā
āHa ha ha. You have exposed my plan. I was going to use post-pubescent male trolls to generate nuclear power. You have foiled me.ā Jade rolls her eyes, before turning around to lay on her back, giving up on focusing her tired eyes on the paper. To her surprise, Karkat picks it up with a gentle tug, hops onto her bed, and appears to be avidly reading it.
Reading English was never his strong suit, Alternian being his forte, but English came to Kankri naturally and heās bragged about it time after time and it pisses Karkat off. So heās going to learn this complex English if it kills him. When itās clear that he wasnāt going to give her book back, Jade goes to another subject to study. She has a moment of silence before he asks her what āconstituentsā are.
The evening passes as he constantly asks her to explain a concept or a formula, and she can tell heās getting really passionate about the reading. Right after she closes her eyes, he tucks the book into her cabinet, itās rightful place, still tasting the words on his tongue. They all seem so foreign to his Alternian tongue, but she had taken great lengths to describe the words, and they had finally begun to make sense. Before he climbs into his recuperacoon, he notes her shiver in his bed, and he pulls the small wool apparatus over her shoulder.
She smiles in her slumber.
Heās starting to really like Jade Harley.
Jade awakes to loud swearing and shattering plates.
Half-screaming and half-shrieking, she has her gun out again, aimed directly at the man in front of her hot-plate (thatās on fire oh god is it really). Itās definitely not Kankri, thatās for sure, because sheās never seen someone so level-headed attempt to put out a fire by smothering it with a broken plate piece. āGoddammit, Karkat!ā
He whips around, pupils narrow dots, and he yells at her to call the goddamn fire department, oh shit I just wanted breakfast holy hell. She shuffles quickly under her bed, him shouting at her to ānot fucking hide, we have a situation hereā, and gets out the fire-blanket. Itās not her first go-round with a chemical/mechanical fire- cāmon, she works with nuclear physics and chemistry- so she quickly smothers the fire.
Karkat turns three shades gray lighter, and then loses the previous content of his stomach in the adjacent trash can. Jade leaves the blanket to cool, and calmly rubs his back, grimacing and looking in the other direction. When he resurfaces, she hands him a paper towel and he begrudgingly thanks her.
Note: not for putting out the fire, but for the paper towel.
She grumbles out a half-hearted, āYou asshole,ā before shuffling back to her bed and turning on the small television to watch the morning news. He hops up beside her, looking at her when sheās not paying attention, with the same look of wonder from day one. She knocks her head against his shoulder, watching the weather, rubbing his back again. āMind explaining why you canāt use a hot plate?ā
He growls again. āShut your damn mouth, I was trying to fucking make you breakfast.ā
She pauses, considering the sentence and turning it over in her head. āAre you still hungry?ā
His stomach hurts like hell from nerves and heās still nauseous from the fire, but heās not letting Kankri have one up from him in the Jade Harley department. āLike a goddamn musclebeast. You cooking?ā
She grumbled to herself, shuffling off the bed, and cracks the eggs. While she may not be as willing to cook as she was for Kankri, it was a start.
When his food comes to him, he inhales it. After a brief moment of digestion, sprints to the bathroom, the food, admittedly, was a very bad decision.
Night rolls around, with Jade having passed yet another quiz (take that Quantum Physics!), when she hears the droning of Kankriās voice, and she wonders how the hell she keeps missing the click of the lock. She rolls over, having been laying on her stomach on her bed, to watch him pull the bright red sweater over his head. She giggles a little, noticing the fact that he wears some sort of corset-thing under it that makes it look like he has his pants pulled up to his underarms.
He hears her of course, and flushes, his arms still over his head in an arc. The small flesh in the corner of his back is adorned with a small, diagonal scar. Jade takes the time to note his great shoulders before pulling her book out from under her and continuing to read. Their moment over, he finishes pulling his shirt back on and walks over to her bed, crouching beside her to read over her shoulder.
She sees the yellow moons of his nails come into view, as he points at the page sheās on. āMind if I were to read it? I will treat it with utmost respect, seeing as itās a school-owned textbook-ā
She cuts him off, āIām studying right now. Maybe later, when I go to bedā¦?ā She sees his face wrinkle in confusion, and she smiles at the way his lips curls indignantly.
āPerhaps I could read it to you, then?ā
The question catches her off-guard. She licks her lips, staring at his, imagining the intonations of his voice as recited definitions to her coming from his pout of dark gray lips. Jade wants to look away, of course, because her heart is pounding mercilessly in her chest. Instead, she pushes the book toward him with a soft āplease doā, and then lays back down, patiently waiting for him to begin.
With his thoughts compromising his vows, Kankri wets his lips, turns back to the beginning page, and begins reading the copyright in the inner page of the textbook. The human girl wriggles a bit amongst her cushions and pillows, moving her hair to hook the strand behind her ear, and then she peacefully closes her eyes. His heart is punching a hole straight from his rib cage- heās never seen someone so willing to listen to him before- and he adjusts his collar and stuffs his nose into the book again.
When he resurfaces to announce that theyāve made it to chapter two, he finds her blushing, a wide smile on her face, with her eyes half-lidded and staring at him adoringly.
Kankri quickly hands her the book back and hurries to his recuperacoon to drone out the horrid, sinful thoughts that adorn his thinkpan like a crown on rotten meat.
Karkat awakes the next morning with Kankriās lewd thoughts lingering. He growls and knocks his head against the edge of the coon.
Months pass quicker than Jade wouldāve believed possible- with her passing her tests with ease and Karkat shouting insults in the morning and Kankri with his soft, droning voice at night. All of those nights added up to this one. The biggest night of her life.
Not in actuality, but, with how nervous she is, it might as well be.
Jadeās admitted to being in love a total of two times in her life- both of which ended terribly. She embarrassedly recounts the time she told Dirk she thought he was really cool and maybe they could smooch- only to find out that he was kinda shacking up her brother. She doesnāt even want to think of what went down with Sollux (she reminded him of his dead girlfriend and he tried to let her down easy and then had a vicious moodswing and started screaming).
Night comes and, just as mysterious as always, Karkat disappears and Kankri appears, like a bright red beacon. He pulls out her book, turning to the chapter they had last left off at- theyāre halfway through, and she never wants him to hit the last page. He opens his mouth to begin, but she stops him, pressing her finger to his lips before bringing it back into the knot of her fingers.
āUm, Kankri, could we talk about something other than physics for a second?ā Jadeās voice betrays her hesitation and she swallows in an attempt to clear it. āDonāt worry, you can still read the enthralling chapters of my textbook- I just need to talk!ā
He dog-ears the page and looks up at her with questioning eyes. Theyāve long-since dissolved the border that kept him at her bedside, reading to her, and now he sits next to her as he reads. āIf you wish. Is this, perhaps, the conversation where you inform me of your triggers? We never did get around to having that talk. I have only been able to assume things from your actions- you dislike dirty clothing, you hate animal skins-ā
She cuts him off, the mention of skinning turning her already butterfly-filled stomach. āNo, nothing like thatā¦ā Jade turns to face him, the pads of her fingertips touching his calloused knuckles. For a literature addict, he had calluses all over his hands from what seemed to be hard work. āJustā¦How do you feel about me, Kankri?ā
His response is immediate- as if he had been waiting for the question. āI do believe you to be a woman of formidable caliber, seeing as you do have quite the skill for marksmanship, and you do have the instance to put Karkat in his place. You are of moderate intelligence and can hold up a conversation well. I believe you to be a good acquaintance of mine. Is that all you wanted to talk about?ā
Acquaintance. Oh. āOh um. I was actually going to. Um. Um. Ask if you would want toā¦ Go on a date with me?ā Sheās really going to cry oh god she told herself she wouldnāt cry.
āNow, Jade, I fear that there may have been a miscommunication between the two of us from the beginning.ā There go the silent waterworks. He doesnāt even take notice and continues to talk. āI have been under a vow of celibacy for the past seven sweeps of my life and, obviously you may have been perceiving my help as a form of red romance question, but I can assure you that that is not the case. I will stick true to my vows, and I must decline your offer of a matespritship-ā
Sheās toned him out. This is worse than the time with Sollux. Sollux never blamed her for liking him- he understood she had feelings and didnāt shit on them, but she knew he had feelings and respected them back. Kankri literally just crushed her under his boot, scraped her off like a wad of chewing gum, and then stuck her under a desk. Five minutes pass and heās still talking and sheās still angrily crying becauseā¦ fuck, she thought he was a nice guy, okay? And heās actually a complete asshole and-
ā-even though your attractive looks do tempt me to-ā Sheās openly sobbing and he hasnāt stopped. Goddammit, she takes back everything she said about wanting to kick Karkat out. Where the fuck is he, anyway? Shit, sheās going to be a wreck in the morning when he comes in. Jade wants to scream at him, to smack him or maybe threaten him with her gun, but she just feelsā¦ She searches her expansive vocabulary and can only settle on one word: defeated.
Jade stuck all her romance eggs into the one basket that is Kankri Vantas and none of them hatched and they were all made into omelettes and she was told to eat them. He continues to talk, explaining the complexity of celibacy and giving her back-handed compliments about her tempting personality and appearance, and she canāt take it anymore. In the most violent manner she can make with a shaking body, she pushes off of the bed and sprints to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
In the other room, Kankri desperately wishes he had known that romantic let-downs were one of Jadeās triggers.
Morning approaches, and Jade does not. She remains in bed, face into her pillow, and she will continue to sleep as much as she damn-so pleases. Everything burns and her eyes are swollen and her nails are bitten down to stubs and if she hears Kankriās voice, sheās going to put him full of holes. At least Dirk let her down easy. At least Sollux didnāt blame her. At least when Karkat yells at her, he doesnāt mean it. She fake-sleeps until the sun has reached its mid-point in the sky and the sunshine doesnāt feel like its mocking her anymore.
Mid-day, Karkat comes around with a swollen, black eye for Kankri. Thatās right, the asshole is totally going to wake up and feel the heavy-ass, throbbing pain in his eye that he totally just put Jade through for no reason. Karkat has long since realized he was horns over hoof-ends for Miss Jade Harley, and, as he rewatched her shaking romantic confession from Kankriās memories, he had never felt more pain. He definitely felt more hurt than when he purposefully inflicted a black eye on himself to give to Kankri as a 12th Perigree āKINDLY GO FUCK YOURSELFā present.
He looks at Jade, curled up in a sad pile, her head leaning against her tear-soaked pillow because some assholes donāt know when to stop. Thatās the difference between the two of them, by the way. Karkat can keep his damn speakflap shut when he knows its going to actually hurt somebody. Kankri thinks that, if he keeps fucking talking, itāll make the situation better. āI told you he was an asshole.ā Karkat mutters, snaking his hand under Jadeās head to hold it as his other flipped her pillow to the dry side. He pats her head sympathetically, pulls the blanket a bit closer around her, and debates kissing her forehead.
As much shit as he talks, he is a wimp, and he just sits at the foot of her bed, turns on the TV, and watches some horrid cartoon about octopi. When Jade finally sits up, he just curls an arm around her, an unspoken silence passing between the two teenagers that both looked like shit. She finds her place in the crook of his neck, burrowing her nose into it, and she wishes she could just hide there forever.
Karkat is the one to break the silence. āIām so fucking sorry- Iā¦ā He canāt formulate a good sentence to describe how pissed he is. āI mean I knew Kankri was an asshole but I didnāt think heād go that farā¦ā
Jade just sighs and nuzzles further into his neck. āIām sorry tooā¦ā Her chest cavity hurts again, and she can feel Karkatās hand trace patterns into her arm. Itās been a while she felt so secure, and she no longer wants his loud words to fill up the silence. She just wanted a bit of comfort- and he definitely delivered.
Karkat shifts her over, just to get her a bit closer to him, and his lips are at the shell of her ear when he whispers, āI am going to fuck Kankri up so bad, you have no ideaā¦ā
She half-giggles, half sobs.
Jade doesnāt see Kankri for another week. And, when she does, she adamantly ignores him, even though heās sporting one hell of a black eye and a split lip. He doesnāt really seem to mind, just goes in and out of the apartment, getting his change of clothes, and then leaving to go see whatever poor asshole is his moirail. She could probably work up enough pity for his moirail (who has to put up with a chatty insensitive asshole who has a bad case of mouth diarrhea) to become their matesprit for the love of God.
He doesnāt read to her anymore.
Itās going on the second week after her confession when, before bed, Karkat walks up to her, clutching her Rocket Science book. He hops onto her bed, crosses his legs, and opens up to the Copyright page. Jade doesnāt lay down, and sits up, watching him read avidly. He doesnāt know a lot of the words, and its all confusing bullshit to him, but he knows that she loved Kankri reading to her. And that asshole continues to break her heart, every night at about eleven thirty, because he made a non-verbal promise he didnāt keep.
And, as per usual, Karkat is left to clean up the mess.
The way Karkat reads is, in no way, relaxing to her as it was when Kankri read, but its enthralling. She finds herself leaning on her elbows, getting closer to him. When he doesnāt understand or know a word, his perfect Earth accent slips in the slightest, and he rumbles out the word with heavy Alternian ārrrrās and āoueās. Before she can even recognize her movements, sheās basically draped over his shoulder, her eyes tracing the words as she listens to his voice. His tone is scratchy, unpracticed, and its glaringly obvious he doesnāt read aloud often.
He can feel her arms wrapped around him, and its making him stumble over his words more often. It doesnāt help that thereās no Alternian translation for the majority of these words, and that, when she reads his face, sheāll softly whisper the definition to him. He wants her closer. He wants her as far away from him as possible. He wants her to keep whispering bullshit to him.
Karkat desperately wishes that she hadnāt fallen in love with Kankri.
Jade desperately wishes she didnāt have to feel so cautious about falling in love with Karkat.
Itās approaching the end of the first year they spent sharing an apartment together, and Jade has pieced everything together. She hates to interrupt Karkatās moirail time, she knows how important it is, but the theory in her head wonāt let her rest and thereās so much evidence to prove it. She hopes itās wrong.
She really hopes itās wrong.
Karkat nearly breaks down the door (the door heād paid to get a better lock system and get refitted so it couldnāt groan late at night) and heās half-panting, looking at her with wide eyes. āGod-fucking-dammit, Jade, I thought you were on fire when you fucking called me what the shit is going on?ā She looks at him blankly, and heās harshly reminded that itās the same way she looks at her chemicals before she mixes them. And then she bites her lip and an odd cocktail of love and fear creep into her eyes. He wants to memorize the love. He wants to erase the fear.
She quickly crosses the room, her eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly her hands have ducked under his shirt. He lets out a screech in surprise (not even a bad surprise, Jade Harley with her hands on him was a pretty good surprise), and he nervously starts talking. āFuck, Harley, donāt you think you should take me out on a date before you get all handsy? Iām a high-class dame, I have standards you know-ā Her hand grazes the lower portion of his back, finding what they were looking for, but Karkat doesnāt know that. He bites his lip and looks down at her, trying to read her emotions, but her side-bangs are hiding her eyes from view.
āā¦Itās the sameā¦ā He can finally see her eyes, as she looks up at them, but all thatās written in them is confusion and mild dismay. Jadeās hands trickle off of his back like raindrops. āYou two have the same scar in the same placeā¦ā Sheās biting her lip when he cups a hand on her shoulder.
He realizes, with frightening clarity, that she knows. Sheās cracked the code- the Kankri/Karkat Vantas code- like he was a Rubikās cube and she peeled off all the stickers to get the side to match up. āJade, fuck, I-ā
āā¦How sick are you?ā She can feel it, the coiled snake of anger sitting in her chest, and heās fucked with the wrong girl. Heās really fucked with the wrong girl. āHow sick can you be that you made up this fake, bullshit lie that you were two people and- surprise surprise!- I fell in love with you and then you were an asshole! And then youāre your own rebound guy- making me fall in love with you all over again! How. Fucking. Sick. Can. You be?ā
āJade, itās not like that I-ā
āNo, itās completely like that! Itās the reason I never hear the door open and close when Kankri comes through the door! Itās the reason you look like brothers- you canāt fucking be brothers, youāre goddamn trolls! Thatās how you knew everything that happened between me and him! Itās was all you!ā Sheās crying and screaming and she can tell sheās hit a nerve because there are red streams down his face too.
āJade, sit down, shit, I didnāt want you to find out like this- please, sit downā¦ā He sounds as defeated as she was and she sits for only that one reason. Karkat sits next to her, and she can tell he wants to wrap his arm around her again. Sheās not having any of it. āIā¦ am sick.ā
āWhat the fuck was your first Blueās clue? Itās written all over-ā
āNot the way youāre thinking.ā His voice cracks, and, deep in his chest, thereās a whimpering sound. āI am mentally sick. Iām from the fucking looney-bin- Kankriās an actual person-ā
āDonāt waste my time.ā The way she says it is precise and cold, and his bloodpump drops into his digestive sack. He sits up, pulls out Kankriās luggage from beside their ācoon, and he searches for the document, the only thing that will prove him right.
He hands it to her with shaking hands, and she scans through it.
DATE OF BIRTH: WITHHELD DUE TO ALTERNIAN RECORD
PLACE OF BIRTH: ALTERNIA, PINPOINTED LOCATION WITHHELD DUE TO ALTERNIAN RECORD
CURRENT PLACE OF RESIDENCE: āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā,ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
DIAGNOSIS: MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER
IDENTIFIED OTHER PERSONALITIES: KANKRI VANTAS
Jade gently hands him back the papers. She gently touches his shivering shoulders, looks into his sad, puffy, almond eyes with scared and dilated pupils. She gently pulls him to her. She fears anything less than gentle would break him. So she gently combs her fingers through his hair, gently tells him sheās so sorry, gently sits the two of them on her bed.
She gently tells him she doesnāt care that heās sick. She gently tells him she thought he was making fun of her.
āHow the fuck could I do that to you- Fuck you should know I- Jade, I love you why the harsh fuck would I shatter your heart like that? Even if I didnāt love you, do you really think Iād be that much of an asshole about letting you down?ā He says these words like itās not him saying it, like there will be no consequence to her hearing that she loves him.
She gently kisses him, with no fear in her heart of rejection, and needs him as close to her as possible. She can read him as well as Kankri could read books, and heās a nervous wreck and sheās going to hold the pieces of him together like sheās made of Gorilla Glue. When she pulls away, his lips are still puckered, his eyes still shut, and he doesnāt even sound harsh when he says, āKiss me again, stupid.ā
Jade doesnāt waste time.
