#kambo

This past weekend I participated in an ayahuasca ceremony. I spent the whole day fasting and preparing my body for the purging. Kambo in the morning. Ayahuasca in the evening.

I asked Abuela Ayahuasca to show me what I can’t see.

And so she gifted me with the chance to meet everyone I’ve ever loved.

I’ve done shrooms before and was familiar with the descent into being “in” so when the ayahuasca started to take me, I just remember looking up at the trees and the ground and saying, “I know there’s darkness and light. I am not afraid, take me.”

And then Chowder came. He came to take me. My sweet angel, my guardian and guide. He took me and I saw my abuelito and my family and most of all I saw my grandma.

I haven’t seen her since she died. She never visited me in my dreams. I know she looks after me, but I never FELT it.

That night I finally understood. I sobbed. I grieved and she held me.

I know I am full of love. I feel so much pain because I love so deeply. Inside me is a well that overflows.

Razyboyocean - In My Mode (feat. Kambo)

Tw: vomiting

Kambo was great. Going into the ceremony i set my intention to heal my specific wounds and ailments.

I ask for The Spirit of the Kambo to support me and help me throughout the treatment; i heard how uncomfortable and intense this medicine can be.

Hecka opened the gates on my leg, and and warm sensation from the medicine spread inside of my body, intensifying unto a slight burning sensation. The feeling intensified, and my head began to pulse as my heart rate climbed.

At the zenith of the discomfort i began to sway back and forth. After a few moments of what couldn't have been more than ninety seconds Hecka tells me to induce vomiting. Perhaps too much of an expert in self induced vomiting: i get right to work.

My vomit is clear from all the water i had just ingested, with a tinge of neon yellow from the very little bile extradited. And, although I had fasted 32 hours before the medicine, we discovered small debris like imperfect spheres of puffy white sand.

The tension relieved and Hecka beckoned me to take a shower to elevate my energy. Exhaustion was still prevalent for some fallowing hours, but i still felt refreshed and we conviened in the living room sharing stories of other plant medicines in laughter and tears.

Now, those might sound gross, but we're learning to read the vomit... The colors and their physical and emotional meanings. I noticed that whole others in my company released a lot of dark yellow, and even green or brown bile, with exorbitant amounts of water, my own was mostly clear except for the few grains of debris sunk to the bottom....i wonder what they mean.

I definitely feel like my other worked, and that the Kambo truly aided my experience with the medicine and greatly eased any potential further discomforts. I took the medicine with two other men, and they seemed to have very overwhelming experiences.

I'm really grateful for this medicine and this experience, i feel like we connected.

Yesterday was my last day of work. It’s a bittersweet moment, while I know I’ll get to learn new skills and get to know new animals at my next facility, it was so hard leaving all of these beautiful birds today. I will forever be grateful for all the experiences I have had in Salt Lake City these past 3.5 years. I know I have learned a ton and will cherish the memories I have made with both animals and human.

Thank you Salt Lake City for becoming my home. While I will miss you terribly, I know I will be back to visit some day!