HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY @kallynkaa
Your big gift will be full of cheesy things so I will spare you of too much of this tonight. I wish I could spoil all the rest butā¦ I CANāT, itāll be worth it in a few days, I fucking swear.
For this very special day, Iāll only wish you simple things for the following days, months, and years:
1. Lots of screaming kids, you didnāt have enough of that, I think (no need to thank me)
2. Lots of murdering kids, in monopoly or UNO I REPEAT ONLY IN MONOPOLY OR UNO, LOWER THAT MATRIOCHKA
3. Lots of kicking asses! Kids, no kids, itās all fine
4. Lots of GIFTS!! Itās your freaking birthday yo
5. Lots of success with your studies, diplomas, and whatever the fuck you want to achieve, like I said earlier, uniĀ (and it applies toā¦ all), itās like hitting walls and doors with your teeth when you try to open them (joy to the world), but we are thugs and we climb through windows anyway
6. Lots of healthy shit to eat, we need to go get something (at first I wrote āsomeoneā hm okay kinky or scary, your pick) nice to eat together anyway to celebrate this very holy dayĀ
7. Lots of dancing under blanket, the only acceptable type of dancing
8. Lots of tattoos, and money to help so, thatās for sure
9. Lots of HEY RONE ARRR YA AN GEUH AND AH RK (you too Citrus IF YOU BEHAVE) (and all the otherĀ babies too) (donāt hate me for what I did to one of mine in the last text)
10. Lots of learning, especially languages related (did you know KrasnyĀ means both red and beautiful, thatāsĀ how narcissistic I am) (thatāsĀ also why the Russian Red Place is called this way) (or red is just beautiful and Russian peepsĀ get that)
11. (Did you know red was the color associated with women, fucking long ago? But dudes took it over because it was tooĀ āstrongā and warrior-relatedĀ so they added some white, #thepurecolor, to diminish it and thatāsĀ how girls ended up with pink as their color? I say we take red back from those mofos
12. Lots of writing, drawing, creating, thinking
13. Lots of witchy, obscure, goth, grunge, punk inspiration, clothes, jewelry, and stories
14. Lots of nice family time, lots of comprehensive and smart people around youĀ
15. (Did you know the color associated with the devil was green? The devil in medieval times was fucking GRee n) (they changed it because of religious quarellsĀ and wanted to associate their enemies with the devil so picked their enemyās color which used to be red and associated with the Virginās colors) (iām full of colorĀ facts, stop me) Lots of colors facts!!
16. Lots anon love, and non-anon love, and love
17. Lots of money, yeah, this one is basic but I Mean shit, I wish you health, I wish you blanket-dancing, money is the third step (or the 17th)
18. Lots of you!! You-time, You-love, You-you (maybe a more serious friend too) (nah, thatād be boring)
OKAY I CANāT FUCKING WAIT IāM SPOILING YOU ONE MORE tiny THING WHICH IS A CLUE TO WHAT YOUR big GIFT ACTUALLY TURNED OUT TO BE-
Do you remember this shit? I hope youāre ready for a pile of all of it, crushed, messy and wild (full of memes, I told you).
Happy birthday palā ā„
