Plumber Struggling to Contain Kaalut, the Ravenous One, in Toilet
STATE COLLEGE- A Centre County plumber is currently struggling to contain the eldritch god Kaalut, the Ravenous One, in a toilet.
As evidenced by his shrieks and an occasional tentacle bursting through, Craft has limited experience in the area of extradimensional being containment.
 However, his efforts have met unexpected success, challenging traditional views of such a task being incredibly difficult.
Reporters on scene described what they saw as “ominous,” “chaotic,” and one with glowing green eyes stated “Kaluut hup nafl'fhtagn h' wgah'nagl fhtagn.” Phroth reporters managed to reach Craft for comment.
“Why the fuck are you interviewing me?” Craft said. “There’s a fucking eldritch god trying to get out of this toilet! Call a specialist or something! Get me some help! He’s going to eat the entire planet unless I get a bigger plunger!”
When asked for background on the situation, Craft responded energetically, if not positively. “People flush all sorts of weird shit down toilets, so-oh shit, hold on. Okay, so weird stuff goes down toilets. And I guess someone flushed some really nasty shit down this toilet. Blood, squid, some ritual-Jesus, that was a close one. Some ritual shit. So I poured some liquid plumber down the drain and accidentally completed the ritual. So now there’s a world eater in this toilet, and I need a bigger plunger or he’s going to kill us all,” said Craft.
World responses to the situation have been mixed. A variety of different views have emerged, among which are proposals to make a giant calamari grill in preparation of Kaluut’s arrival and a UN resolution “strongly condemning” Kaluut’s continued efforts to break free and threatening a “firmly worded letter” if he does not immediately cease his actions. The US government has not issued an official statement, but has given several defense contracts to Red Lobster, presumably for giant calamari grill development.
Phroth reporters attempted to reach the Ravenous One himself for comments, but were driven insane by the weight of eldritch knowledge and as such their comments have not been included. We at Phroth advise readers not to delve too far into the eldritch abyss, like they did.
