#k9kesi

It’s hard to accept that someone as vibrant and special as @k9kesi is dead. Not only is it a great shock, but it is so unjust. In a perfect world -- even in a moderately less-than-complete-shit world -- Kesi and her husband would be happily walking all her dogs right now.

Kesi was a good friend and a good person. I first encountered her on the Moon Guard forums where, counter to her later blog subheader, she always had something witty to say. She was friendly and caring and made the forums a better place.

I only really got to know her after many of us migrated from the WoW boards to Tumblr. Here I learned about her love of animals -- especially dogs. There is no better way to judge a person than by paying attention to how they feel about animals. Kesi didn’t treat dogs as pets, she treated them like her children. I know that’s a statment that can seem patronizing or quaint, but it is a testament to her spirit to recognize that her dogs were part of her heart. Her love for them was not eccentric, it was ideal.

She worked for the rights of animals in general, and devoted a great deal of her time to greyhound adoptions. Dogblr was fortunate to have her and the tributes to her that have been posted by Dogblr regulars show just how dedicated and warm a person she was.

Kay and I went through terrible loss at the same time as Kesi, and so we naturally commisserated through emails and long and rambling fanmails here on Tumblr. In many ways, I believe tht Kesi was the only person who understood the depth of our grief. As the anniversary of that loss looms on the calendar, I should really be writing to Kesi so we could both talk about our strategies for getting through it right now but I will write this instead.

Kesi was honest, generous, principled, and vulnerable. She was open and unarmored. She stood for and fought for what she believed in. She devoted her time, energy and life to her causes. The world rewarded her with cruelty and obstacles.

Kesi was open about her struggles, and the deaths of Tasha and Raven seemed to take a great toll on her. Still, though, she had time for her friends. When many of our old cohort had turned on me, Kesi continued to defend me -- and by doing so she became a target of cruel and petty bullying. She spoke out in favour of social justice and things like universal healthcre, only to be snarked at, condescended to, and attacked -- because ideas like that were “naive” and not trendy. People accused her of privilege even though she was exactly the sort of person who needed universal healthcare. The shit was so petty -- like dramatically unfollowing her dog tumblr -- because she considered voting third party. Petty and vicious, as the perpetrators were her “friends” who knew the best way to hurt her.

The fact that the same folks are probably posting about how much they will miss Kesi, after they ostracized and demeaned her for months just adds to my anger and frustration.

Kesi helped people and she helped animals. She was a good person who asked for very little and received even less in return. She deserved happiness.

It is hard to process that she is no longer here. Even more so as she and Kay were just talking via email. I should be checking Tumblr for messages and responding to Kesi about some kdrama we are starting. I’d like to be sharing biuts of my book with her. I should be looking at new pictures of her dogs. And we should be talking about how this year’s death anniversary will be hard but we will feel a little better when it is behind us.

My condolences go out to Kesi’s dogs, Rudy and Cole, and her husband and family. I wish I had been able to adequately repay her friendship.

We used to chat and hang out every day together in WoW way back when we both played; she was always an absolute sweetheart, and one of the most empathetic people I’ve ever met.  We helped each other out a lot and always felt comfortable confiding, venting, and going on about this thing or that together.  We largely lost our everyday conversations when we left the game, but every now and then we’d each check in to see how the other was doing.  Even though our interests and blogs had little crossover between them, we remained mutuals and would chime in on each other’s posts and goings-on over time.

I remember talking her through losing Raven, and she was incredibly kind and helpful with me when I had to put down Thunder almost exactly a year ago.  She was always around and more than willing to help me out during the most difficult decision I had ever had to make in my life, and the ensuing painful weeks and months that followed.

I’m not entirely sure if it was due to 2016 collectively kicking the shit out of us but our contact had essentially ceased as of January.  I immensely regret not making more of an effort to reach out over the past seven months.  

I’ll be scarce for a bit.

Jen at GreyhoundsOnly says that Cole and Rudy are being taken care of, they no longer need a foster. Please spread this info to people who might not know.

I don’t know what to say right now. I regret not asking what was wrong last night when that post went up. Kesi always reached out when any of us were hurting, I don’t know why I didn’t do the same for her.

My parents had people guess jack was a GSD the most

i guess that would make sense for a tri color, and jack did have a very strong head.... but he was still so collie ish.... 

@theroanandthebay replied to your post “@wills0lace when I got fox he was 10 months old so he was already way...”

We get GSD all the damn time. Aussie the most then GSD

Hi everyone,

I’ve been talking to Kesi’s sister. I’ve told her about the incredible outpouring of love that’s happened in dogblr since we’ve found out that she’s passed and I have shared with her some of the posts you’ve all written to/about Kesi. I’ve offered to compile our messages to Kesi into a PDF as her sister would like to print them off and have a keepsake to share with their mother.

I know that so many of us were touched by Kesi and her kindness. I’ve been struggling for the past day, trying to find a way to express my appreciation for our friendship. I think that this could be a nice opportunity for all of us to give a gift back to Kesi and her family. That being said, I don’t want anyone to feel pressured to write or share anything if they are not comfortable doing so. We all have our own ways of expressing our love and grief. I just want to extend the opportunity for us to do something as a community.

If you would like for me to include your message to Kesi in this memorial project, please either reblog this post with your message or privately contact me on tumblr messenger with your message. In your message, please let me know how you would like it signed (either with your username or your offline name). Also feel free to include images, especially if they have Kesi in them. If it would be easier for you to e-mail me, please contact me on messenger and I’ll provide you with my e-mail address.

We’d like everyone’s messages by next Sunday, July 30th at midnight (12:00am) EST. If you think you'll need a little more time than that, please let me know.

Kesi’s sister described this project as,

“a celebration of her kindness, and endless love to others.”

I really can’t think of a lovelier way to describe Kesi’s spirit.

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Thank you,