#k-stew

The second to last installment of the Twilight film series sees Bella and Edward... get married. And have a baby... That’s mainly it. 

I made a promise to myself at the age of 17 that I would read all the Twilight books before I saw the films. Unfortunately, by 2011, I had lost interest in the books, and it wasn’t until 2020, nearly 10 years later, that I finally chewed through the 700 pages of Breaking Dawn, and made it through the first installment of the film. 

Reading the book, I had some concerns. About 400 pages of the book is Jacob going in and out of a house while Bella’s pregnancy increasingly damages her health. It’s not very cinematic, it’s not even that interesting as a book. I was curious about how this could be translated to the screen. 

The answer? It’s not very interesting. 

You can tell that Condon has attempted to stylize this story. Style over substance could well have saved this film, whose story is... thin. There are some nice shots, including Bella’s nightmare wedding which looks like something from a 70s psychological thriller. There’s also a really lovely shot of Bella and Edward playing chess on a set that looks like a completely different film. Those make up the ninety enjoyable seconds of this film. 

I can’t blame the production team for trying, because nothing happens in this story.

Here are the actual events of the film: 

1) Bella marries Edward.

2) They go on their honeymoon and bang.

3) Bella gets pregnant. 

4) Jacob finds out about the baby and gets annoyed, telling the wolf-pack. 

5) The wolf-pack decide to attack the Cullens.

6) Jacob starts a splinter pack because he doesn’t want to hurt Bella. 

7) Bella has the baby, dying in the process, Edward injects her with his venom. 

8) The wolves attack the Cullens and the splinter pack. 

9) It’s ok! Jacob imprinted on the baby, so the wolves aren’t allowed to murder it. 

These events, apart from number 8, aren’t particularly interesting events. The book is 700 pages of Bella and Jacob’s inner monologues (which is maximally angsty.) There’s a lot of stuff in there that can’t really be conveyed on a screen, unless we just have K-Stew sit in a chair while her internal monologue goes on and on about how Bella has no interests or talents (really, there’s a bit like that in the book.) 

There is a lot of Jacob in this movie, but Taylor Lautner’s acting doesn’t stand up against K-Stew and R-Patz’ superior talents. Jacob comes across as wooden and cold next to his costars, who might not be interesting characters but at least they’re doing it in a believable way. It also feels like there wasn’t enough budget for CGI, as the wolves (whose performances are far more compelling than Lautner’s) rarely appear. The books feature a lot of moments where the wolves leap into action, but as their dialogue with each other when they are in wolf form happens in their minds, this doesn’t lend itself to adaptation. 

                                                    ▲ ▼ ▲ 

My heart beats strong as rock 

          My blood once cold and hot 

                              My eyes see what you got

                                                   Get on my knees and pray