#jwalking

I see your face in my dreams

Kate

your name a version of mine

pushed out through struggling

lungs

as I held your head

trying to keep

you brains inside

blood pooling on the pavement

I tell you my name 

and you focus on me

a brief second of timelesness

hazel eyes meeting ice blue

amongst the cell phones filming

bystanders gawking

at the real life movie

unfolding before them

you struggle to say you’re 26

and you keep repeating “It hurts”

and I pray that my hands

shape you bones back together

as I hold you still

like the operator told me to

I promise you 

you will be ok

but broken promises my curse

unable to keep it for her

head trauma

much worse

than I ever imagined

13 minutes

until sirens

until

someone with a uniform

and a crew cut

took over

13 minutes of repeating over and over

“You’re going to be ok”

as I prayed and I  prayed

I found out you didn't make it

6 weeks later

doctors unable to put

the puzzle pieces

back together

I drive home

most nights

in bad weather

and I see your face

in my rear view mirror

Kate