#justpresspause

JPP back on the winning track. Just one rep from each squad, Ratt and Jerome. Ratt won two events, a 3 mile run, which he made it to Jerome's driveway first by half a step (very sneakily I might add). Then he beat him in a game of war, which would have made Sun Tzu proud. It was the first full game of war ever played... ever. The night concluded with banana grams, Jerome won the first round, then we finished by playing only dirty words. 2 veggie dogs filled me up. Thanks to Jerome for being a good host and even better running mate. Anonymous person 1 said, "Sounds like you two had a swell evening........did it end up with the both of you curled up on the couch drinking Manhattan's?" Anonymous person 2 replied, "If drinking Manhattans is code for hide the salami, then yes, that is what they did."

Nobody from #JPP showed. Six from Old Man Balls FC did. We should count this as a win because #JPP is soooo pathetic, but being a kind and merciful God, we'll let it slide. Be sure to catch us on Periscope!!!

Old Man Balls FC extends it lead. OMB 5, #JPP 1 Lazy Man Buffalo sports trivia was the game. Bunting, much like Atlas, had the weight of a beleaguered #JPP on his shoulders. Being the only member of his team to show that night, and like a real man, he accepted the challenge. He alone took on the incredible brain power of 5 Old Man Balls. Unlike his hairline, he did not recede from the mighty task. But much like his hairline, he fell behind early. His knowledge of useless buffalo sports trivia was impressive but not as impressive as Bull's - he's kind of a ringer. So nice try Bunting. Your team should be proud but it's still just another lose for #JPP. OMB OMB OMB OMB OMB OMB OMB OMB!!!

In a shocking rebound from record low attendance the past few weeks of MTL, arguably the best night of MTL occurred last evening at the Robinson estates. Attendance was plentiful (11 dudes), the events were ingenious and abundant, the food and deserts were exquisite, and the beer selection offered something for every palate. Gourmet burgers, bacon wrapped scallops, two pasta salads, and asparagus were served as the pregame meal. A steamy 95 degree night was the backdrop for a triumvirate of events which included nerf star wars target shooting, 2v2 Super Chexx dome hockey and 2v2 darts. In the first event, each combatant tested their marksmanship skills using a high powered nerf disc handgun, taking aim at defenseless star wars action figures. (Action figures ranges from original New Hope Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, R2D2, Greedo, Walrus Man, a variety of storm troopers, etc., to an Attack of the Clones Jar Jar Binks). As one might expect #JPP dominated the accuracy and precision challenge besting OMB without even needing their final shooter. (see video and photos to be provided by Tarpy) A serving of MTL cake provided a buffer between the first physically grueling event and the 2 remaining air-conditioned indoor finales. To the surprise of everyone, all of the OMB players were apparently dart and dome hockey virgins prior to last night, which made for an even more lopsided #JPP victory. A review of the score book reveals a startling inability of OMB to hit targets or put a tiny puck into a net. Strange really… A remarkably unbalanced victory by #JPP was celebrated with the late evening consumption of an entire bottle of 20-year old tawny porto. That’s just how #JPP rolls I guess. The season series is now OMB 4 - #JPP 1. Despite being on the wrong side of the lopsided decision, Big Jim was named MVP of the day for fighting through symptoms of acute pancreatitis, watching in obvious pain as others guzzled ice cold adult refreshments and enjoyed the fine cuisine offerings. #JPP wishes Big Jim a speedy recovery as he attempts to quell the swelling of his pancreas enough by this Friday’s Toby Keith concert and Skybar cabana event to continue to resume the intentional pickling of his critical organs once again. #JPP also offers our premature condolences on his eventual cirrhosis diagnosis.

"No time for the ol' in-n-out luv, just here to read the meter". (re: I'm updating from my phone at work and I don't have time for a proper write-up) Up 7 - 2 in shitty kickball Adam Bistoff fucked his whole team by popping the ball. Rule was established hours before the game. Scroll down for objective evidence. Several disputed calls throughout the match led to final decisions / cheaters proof via Rock-Paper-Scissors. Epic best of 3 battle. Scroll down for results. Old Man Balls FC allowed #JPP a second chance but OMB was granted a 3.5 run lead through tense negotiations led by your host Z for Old Man Balls and Bunting for #JPP. (Reminiscent of negotiations from last years Can-Jam night and we all know how that turned out). Old Man Balls FC scored 8 runs in the first but squandered the lead. #JPP showed real heart. Came down to a disputed call so we went to shotgun sprints and OMB young guns crushed it.

Last evening at the luxurious Bunting Piazza, by the flickering glow of a mediocre bonfire; Tarpy, Crippler and English Pete bested V, Mark, and Robinson in an epic battle of mostly 1950’s film and scrabble trivia. A fine assortment of ales, chips and tubed meat by-products were served by the Bunting Plantation Staff. Items of note from the evening: 1. Rat’s perfect attendance streak was snapped for reasons unknown… 2. English Pete knows shockingly little about England… and Europe… 3. Tarpy has a man-crush on Burt Reynolds… 4. Bunting’s kids like Doritos… 5. Trivial Pursuit’s sports category has little to do with sports… OMB took week 2 and now hold a commanding 2-0 advantage in the standings.

The Entire #JPP Team (but mostly V)

On a hot as fuck evening, #JPP scorched OMB 21-9 and 22-11.  #JPP, with Bunting and Ratt, delivered an ass crunching over English Pete and Jimmy.  Ratt was doing his best Karch Kiraly impersonation with his over-hand serves and what not. The only excuse that English and Jimmy could come up with was that the court was not regulation size, being only 20 x 20 feet. A volleyball court is 18m (59 ft) long and 9m (29.5 ft) wide, divided into 9m × 9m halves by a one-meter (40-inch) wide net. English stated that he was disappointed in the small size but I guess Lisa likes it that way.  The start of the game had to be delayed a bit as Jimmy, diving for a ball in warm-up, hit a support line which caused a pole to break.  After rigging the net and getting the pole back up with more string, a ladder, glue, duct tape, hair spray, and Jenga blocks.  #JPP then cruised to an easy win.  Hot dogs were served before the game and Palmeri showed up after coaching his daughter’s soccer team.  So yes, a grand total of five (5) people showed up for MTL.  Though the turn out was low, a nice beer selection was given by the gracious host Lisa, er um, Ratt I mean.  Jimmy thought that the game should have been Ping Pong with a Davis Cup format but Ratt, being the host, had final say.  There was one creepy neighbor spectator sitting on his porch watching the game and he had his eye on Bunting whenever he would bend over to pick up the ball; reminded me of the pick up truck guy from Dodgeball.  All and all, a fun night for the five (5) MTL members that could make it.