#justkeepclimbing

Not everyday is a PR, but I think today was! (Have I done better than this?? I don’t think so in 30 mins) it sure felt like one of my hardest stair workouts. I try my best to not hold on the rails or put too much weight on them. I could have done better if I did that but I wanna do it the honest way 😂 #stairclimber #justkeepclimbing #cardioishardio #goodsweat #sweatnowglowlater #crunchfitness #sundaystairs (at Crunch Fitness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CKu55eQgkl3/?igshid=10obx8v69g4jf

01 Just Keep Climbing

It’s important not to submit to others desires or intentions for you. It’s important to do what’s best for you but to do that you must be self-aware and understand your components of self. This is something I struggle with. Something I’m currently struggling with. I don’t belong where I’m at. Ultimately, I’m the only one who could have changed how this all ended. Over 2 years ago, I made the decision to walk away from this “support system” and allowed others to talk me into staying. Allowed others to play on my desires and my ego so that they could get what they need. Today, I feel like an imposter in my own skin. I feel out of place and frankly, out of my mind. It’s time for change; for growth; for new beginnings.

I feel as though I'm climbing a mountain. As I get higher up the mountain the scenery becomes more beautiful and I'm proud of myself for the new height that I've accomplished. But then it happens. Like a forceful wind I try to hold on brace my self fight against it and continue my ascent but the wind is strong and somewhat refreshing so I give in letting the wind blow me off the summit. Cascading through the air. A free fall of adrenaline and guilt. A mixture of excitement and fear as I plummet to the ground. And then it's over. I lay on the ground a mangled mess. Stretching my neck to see the peak from which I once stood. How can I keep letting this happen. Why don't I fight more? The self loathing creeps over me like a dirty blanket. I consider climbing back up the mountain but I'm hesitant because the higher I climb the further I fall. I wander around the darkness bruised battered and alone. I want to climb the mountain. Reach its highest peaks see the breath taking views and feel the surge of accomplishment. But the higher I climb the stronger the winds. Maybe next time I should pack a windbreaker.