#justfeelit

With time the pain of the two would dissolve according to the media, the two knew that the pain was the feeling now both physically and mentally, a child was something that the two had had in their dreams. It was the chance for the two to fulfill their dreams and settle down, everything was ready, clothes, house, money, and it wasn't even for the money but for the son. The pressure on Y/n was even greater than Robert's was things and troubling sensational headlines even, it was things like: "She was too weak", "It was all her fault", "She deserved more". The whole world knew about the loss but they only welcomed Robert for his position, in addition to the machismo and prejudice about the girl her name was being used on several horrible occasions, a mother always wants the good of her child and even if it hurt a lot, Robert and S /n knew that the best thing for little Harry was for him to go in peace. Y / n is now the mother of an angel who looks at her from above every day and keeps her face and little body in memory of her. 1 month of the loss and they were still reporting on websites, magazines, gossip newspapers and just listening to Robert's part. He is not to blame and positioned himself in various situations about what he wanted or did not want to say, he returned to smoking and drinking, he had promised in his beloved's pregnancy that he would not do anything like that to preserve the health of the beloved and her angel. They buried the little one and it was the image they will never forget. Some famous and friends of the two manifested and left their condolences to the couple, Y/n's parents returned to Brazil and insisted the little girl to go with them to clear her head but she didn't want to. Since then Robert has given her as much love and tried to be strong but the mother misses her son, they no longer have the intimacy of intimacy, sex, touch, they were not prepared for that. Maybe someday there would be a chance to have another chance to be happy again. Y/n spent a lot of time in the hospital, postpartum depression was the cause, crying coerced by the fear of going out on the streets and being attacked. She never deserved this and neither of them could do anything. Robert's parents always supported them both, his sisters knew HOW hard it was for both of them, Y/n's friends too. They won't go through life together but their hearts will be together even if the world ends, Robert Pattinson and Y/n Arantes will ALWAYS love each other. ⎯ How was your day? ⎯ Noah asks her friend next to Robert ⎯ It was normal. ⎯ Noah knew that his friend was gathering all her strength to answer ⎯ Tell me about yours. ⎯ Anna and I went to the park today, you should have gone ⎯ he replies and she looks down sadly ⎯ But I'm glad you had this big guy here, huh. ⎯ Yeah, glad he was here ⎯ she replies and settles down next to him ⎯ Did you meet anyone? ⎯ Yes and no, well it was a glimpse ⎯  Noah responds and looks at Robert ⎯ Are you okay? ⎯ Huhm ⎯ he replies, Robert was recovering better than Y/n just like she was when he needed her. ⎯ Tell me more ⎯ Y/n asks her friend to smile because she is interested It was few moments that Y/n was interested in something, Robert wished his mind was too busy not to think about what had happened, Noah was her best friend and he came every day to see his friend and try to cheer her up. ⎯ How did she spend the night last night? ⎯ It was a small advance, the doctors said she is starting to accept it but it's too early to say anything about it ⎯ Rob responds by covering his beloved in bed ⎯ This shit they're talking about her is so cruel, how can they think something like that about the girl ⎯ Noah wanted to cry now ⎯ Take care of her Robert, she's still very hurt. ⎯I am caring. But was Robert weak too?, had he gotten over the death of his son?, or, he just hoped that someday his life would be normal. The day in Los Angeles was even a little too cold for the temperatures there, Robert walked covered in the icy streets, it was the warmth he wanted so much at

*narrator on*

For all those who have lost a child and the feeling of guilt is anger makes their head now, well people are human and have feelings no matter how big or small, they will always have their own answers. Saying goodbye to a person is a strange pain that never seems to go away and that hurts most of our chest, that feeling of guilt and anger at oneself is comforted by coldness. When someone is lost, feelings organize themselves to appropriate the address in the dark place of life, look at the sky and see the stained in its blue moonlight.

Even though they were aware that death could come for the little one, both of them had the feeling of hope between them that to this day he pulsates to know his true face. Your child's happy face will be forever etched in your memories that are now being stained with grief, the famous feeling of discrediting and reinforcing. You can't predict the future or change the past, and maybe we should learn from our present if it hurt you in the future you will know and if in the past it made you happy, today in the present they feel grateful.

An image of a strong man and woman who are never shaken is the purest lie, it's small fractions of courage to try again but they are giant reasons to give up. Harry wasn't a child who came to earth just to show his love in hours and go back to heaven, but to show everyone that love is real, he really wanted to go back and stay in his mother's arms, feeling her warm lap and your heart like a beautiful piano, I really wanted to have the life that was directed but your little place is now in the immense love of your parents. Harry could say and describe his parents in beautiful and beautiful words, purity and innocence, work and effort, sadness and rupture, a passionate Brit and connected to a Brazilian safe with everyone.

At the moment the house was painful, it was the house that Robert and Y/n had chosen to raise little Harry there with them. Outside the gates there were many people, reporters, paparazzi and present, it was a fact, they knew that there had been the first tragedy of the Pattinson family but not everyone was there with good intentions. Many wanted a positioning of the same to create a sensationalist news on the networks to earn raises and even a promotion, when you have fame you carry the burden of feeding on fake caresses and real pain, that world lost the total color it had at the time that the little being stopped breathing.

It was difficult for Robert to see that empathy was the biggest fault in the world, the house was closed by curtains that went to the floor giving little light in all the rooms. The sky was sadder than the weather in Los Angeles was predicted, channels around the world reported the loss of Robert Pattinson but not the true feeling of Y/n Arantes. She felt her son all the time until her last tear, it was killing the house, everyone was busy with their bodies and their minds alone and dark. Finally, the ray of light is gone.

Robert had to be strong to help his mate and he owes it to her in every way. They were boyfriends but both knew that their relationship was much more than just "boyfriends" there was the passion of centuries, the chemistry of years and the pure essence. Looking at his relatives taking turns to see how they were making him angrier with himself, it wasn't his fault or anyone else's, it was science.

⎯Rest Robert I see her,she is my daughter I know her well⎯it was true for Robert he and Paulo knew his way of dealing with pain.

⎯I'll try to dismiss everyone downstairs, I'll take care of the housework and the funeral⎯there was pain in Robert's voice and as hugs were the way Arantes show love it was no different

⎯Don't blame yourself or cover yourself, it was a loss and there will be others but Harry is too proud of his father⎯Paul tells Robert he was sniffling with tears⎯There is a difference between all the moments and this is those moments when you you need to put your head down and see the calm of human contact, today in that room my daughter cries but in a long time she will get over it.

⎯He was a lot like her⎯he wipes her face after hearing his father-in-law's words

⎯ He was yes, don't worry about crying and giving up because we are parts of human lives that suffer, suffering is everyone Robert now needs to accept his.

Paulo was not good with words as his daughter was writing loves but they shared the same feeling of insecurity and living, two hearts formed one and from that one heart was born Robert's favorite person. He waited for her for only 3 years but he waited for millions of years and in other lifetimes.

It was him for her and she for him always.

With a sinking heart and solemn anguish he entered their shared room, she was sitting there by the window listening to the crowd scream instead of silence. With silent footsteps Rob takes her to his chest and strokes her head, that's comfort.

⎯I could go back in time and save him⎯she says in her crying voice and it was not her custom to cry

⎯Need to get some sleep and eat⎯he suggests thinking listening to her mate's low cries⎯Don't cry, look at me.... honey.

Eye contact is the smart and formal way to communicate. There was only pain and loss in her eyes there, it killed him.

⎯ It's okay⎯ it wasn't but it was time for him to be the strong one⎯ It's going to be okay, my love.

In days Robert didn't call her that, she didn't want to be called or heard she just wanted to be left for dead.

⎯ It's wrong to cry like a child, I should be tidying up the funeral and house daddies⎯ Y/n says wiping her eyes trying to take away all the worry Robert had about her ⎯ I want to go home, to my house.

⎯Yes of course⎯it was not the choice to walk away from him or her today the need was to join

⎯Come on⎯she puts a fake, sad smile on her lips to face the crowd.

There were all kinds of fans and representatives that had already taken a large proportion, the world of celebrities had already known and resolved how to be discreet. It was a life the motive and it was a thousand problems.

And in the moonlight of the night, they lay in the same bed with complete respect. Y / n still had labor pains and stitches but what hurt that it wasn't her son who would wake her up at dawn but her sad nightmares with the death of the little one.

⎯Y/n....

⎯Yes⎯whispering

⎯I love you⎯Rob says and it was the purest truth

⎯I love you too little Robert⎯she replies in all sadness

It was never height or anything related to Rob; little Rob's promise was always little Harry's conquest that for Y/n, his reasons were small to give up and giant to be in his heart.

Warning: Contains sex act written in third person, you have been warned!

Chapter based on media music.

After a few days in a hospital bed, the return home is all good and especially for my bed. We went to Rob's temporary house, who insists on being alone in these first months, waking up with this man on his stomach and with his mouth half open is a real doom.

And normally with the hormones of pregnancy everything is even more harmonious.

I take a shower and see that Rob was no longer there, I go to the kitchen to watch cooking.

⎯ You cooking for me, do I owe you something? ⎯ I hear him laugh and he turns to me

⎯You have to feed that baby in there⎯Put a plate of breakfast⎯Your exams are low and you need to eat⎯Kiss my lips and I pull him for the kiss to last even longer

⎯I was thinking about how to tell my parents that the pregnancy is just for the two of them the rest of the family no, they are not family⎯I start to eat

⎯We could go to Rio take a break or go to Angra, you like it there⎯I bite my lip

⎯After the celebrations of your movie we could go, the baby should be born in September I think we still have a good time⎯⎯I reply⎯I read on a website and consulted Marcos and he said that sex is very good for the baby.

⎯Yes and to the parents too⎯he smiles and I get up⎯Are you that addicted?

⎯Shut up Roberto!⎯I kiss him and he pulls me to the sofa

*smut* narrated.

Y/n wasn't wasting any time, he started ripping off Robert's pants instantly, his shorts already forgotten on the floor.

⎯Let's take it easy for the baby please⎯Rob says to the girl who signals that he would be careful.

Y/n felt Robert's tongue slide into her mouth, and she felt it heading for his throat as she

she sucked, twisting her tongue with his that they both no longer needed anything else.

When they broke apart for air Y/n decided to do something Rob fetish, so she took off Rob's baggy pants, and

she tore off her shirt while Robert took care of her bra and panties.

⎯Y/n, I swear! Do I really make you that wet?⎯ he laughs and Y/n gets annoyed at the way he said it and looks at him

⎯Yes, Pattinson you do. But I have

what do you mean... do i really make you hard like this?⎯ Y/n retorts looking at his exposed member

⎯Oh, you'll pay for this, princess!⎯ Rob says laying her down on the couch.

⎯I doubt it⎯Y/n licked his teeth, making Robert even more excited.

Eyes full of lust, cock hardening even more, Robert rolled Y/n to the bed, trapped, beneath him in the

sofa.

Robert held both her hands together, with one of the Y's while the other traced her lips with the movements.

Rob loved to be the dominant there and he was in charge.

Y/n whimpered as he started to move his hand down. Your neck, your breasts, your belly, your

waist then...

⎯Ahhhh…Rob!⎯Y/n moaned as her fingers traced her pussy.

Sliding over her lips, and rubbing her clit. Y/n tried to move but couldn't because he was

trapped under Robert, he was dominant now. So instead, she moaned aloud, expressing how good it felt to have his fingers where no one else had been keeping themselves so well.

(Just her when she had her fantasies in the heat of the night when Robert was on his travels)

Then, once the pleasure was good enough for her clit, Robert moved into her heat. He

he lifted his fingers, which were busy with her pussy, to Y/n's lips.

⎯Suck them for a second, they're getting into your pussy⎯he says and she obeys.

Y/n did as he was told, and after a second of wetting Rob's fingers with his saliva, he felt his way back into the heat, and pushed his fingers inside.

⎯Rob....⎯ Y/n moaned, shaking, moving her hips as his fingers dug deeper.

⎯You're enjoying this honey,you like it when I make you mine⎯he affirms increasing his masturbation

⎯Fucking hell, let me give you that pleasure please⎯she whimpered and Robert raised his eyebrows, mischievously.

⎯Of course, baby. But daddy starts sucking your pussy

first⎯Rob demanded placing his hand on her neck.

Y/n nodded as she bit her lip. Rob's smile got bigger and he started kissing her neck,

moving down, just as she'd done with her hand, drawing loud sighs and moans from her mate.

He now held her arms at her sides, holding her tighter.

Once Y/n felt his tongue slide against her lips, she gasped. One lick, and it already felt like

best thing she's ever felt.

⎯No preliminaries Rob, and I want you inside me...and fast⎯ Y/n says feeling his hot breath on her pussy.

And with that, Rob started to suck

her clit, aggressively. As if he couldn't get enough. Y/n contracted her hips in pleasure. Pleasing her more, Rob slides her tongue down to her pussy flooded wet by him.

⎯Rob....this is so good⎯ Y/n whimpered

⎯It will get even better⎯ He replied, and slipped his tongue inside.

Y/n squirmed, flexing her hips, trying to escape, knowing she couldn't. Not wanting

much. It was so good...

She felt a little disappointed when his mouth moved away from her pussy, but the feeling was gone.

instantly, as he turned Y/n on top.

⎯Now it's my turn⎯Wanting to have fun, she grabbed her

balls and played with them in his hands, making Robert's head roll back.

Gently, she began to kiss different parts of his member, bringing it up to his head.

⎯Fuck Y/n⎯ Robert exhaled in pleasure.

Amused Y/n decided to shock him, and she threw her lips at his cock, pushing the whole thing down her mouth and throat, making her gasp.

Y/n could tell she'd reached her goal, because Rob let out the hottest, loudest moan his neighbors could ever hear.

⎯That's right honey!⎯Voice hitching as the pleasure increased.

Y/n did that, bobbing her head up and down faster and faster, twisting her tongue around the cock. Fucking her own throat.

Suddenly, Rob gasped, and Y/n felt him drop into her mouth. She jerked her head back quickly until Rob was ecstatic looking at her if she could spit out his cum.

⎯Swallow your fucking daddy⎯Rob she said, and Y/n did⎯Good girl⎯ And Rob pulled Y/n onto her lap holding her tightly.

Y/n positions his cock at her entrance, slowly drawing moans from both of them while holding his gaze to the two of them. Rob helps with her hips going fast and Y/n being thrust hard and fast, squirming in her wet lap he kisses her tasting her sweet and salty taste. The thrusts get faster, Y/n sitting on her lap hard and fast, Rob thrusting into her with energy and vigor. Slapping his buttocks and squeezing was Rob's forte and Y/n left his partner marked.

The two dripping with sweat looking at each other and smiling throw themselves on the couch.

*smut finished*

⎯That....was....amazing⎯I answer breathlessly

⎯You're amazing baby⎯Robert says and they open the living room door behind the sofa⎯Oh my god!

⎯Sorry the door was open and I walked in⎯ Marcos' voice echoing in the room

⎯Marcos we are naked and can it wait?

⎯I'll wait outside⎯he slams the door and Rob looks at me

⎯It's interesting⎯I see your face⎯He's outside waiting for both of us.

⎯Let him wait just a little longer⎯he kisses me starting once more

As 1 week has passed, 2 months have passed since Harry happened, I may still be recovering but I'm a little better than before to be more exact and if it depends I wouldn't be. I started to leave the room more often, I went back to my house, sometimes I visit Harry with flowers he would like. I could be in the last phase of grief, acceptance, I knew my son would never come back and I knew I would remember him forever. It was the most beautiful and pure chapter of my life and it will continue to be, my parents call me everyday asking me about my day or how I'm doing. I went back to drinking. Robert, we don't pull away but it seems like we're the line of distances, everyday or when he gets it he lies next to me, puts his arms around my waist and falls asleep with me. Something in both of us has changed and we know that our relationship has gone downhill, we are distant and sometimes a little close. We no longer have the issue of love at the moment, he always comes back late and already tired I can't judge him I arrived like this, I think the relationship is no longer the same, we are both healed and now it's time for new air. I love Robert but I love him enough to let him go.

⎯ How was his day? ⎯ look at him ⎯ Rehearsals with Dior, interview for a magazine, no big deal ⎯ he answers ⎯ And yours?

⎯ Looking for a job and talking to Noah a few times ⎯ sigh ⎯ Don't look at me like that, I lost that huge job and there's no turning back.

⎯ Come home, to our house, you and I.

⎯ Our relationship is so far from us ⎯ I reply ⎯ Robert, I think we should take it easy, all over again.

⎯ You know ⎯ he gets up

⎯ That's your problem Robert, we hardly ever talk to each other and when we do it's just to say "it's ok".

⎯ As if you were the right one here, right ⎯ he replies ⎯ You closed in on me, before it was you and me Y/n and now we're not even half of it!. Do you think this is how I want to live this way!?

⎯ If you can forget about our son faster than me, congratulations Robert ⎯ I get up ⎯ For me this shit is still in my head ok!

⎯ Stop using our child for excuses!

⎯ HE DIED ROBERT! ⎯ shout at him ⎯ OUR SON IS DEAD!

It was a little easier to say it out loud than to think and state the sentence in thought.

⎯ We need time.

⎯ I'll get my things and leave ⎯ he enters the room and I stare at the floor until the cell phone rings and I look

"Yara" the name flashed on Robert's cell phone screen, why was she calling him at 9 pm on a Friday? Wouldn't he be cheating on me or something? I go to my room and stop him.

⎯ You know when I stayed with you when Kristen cheated on you, you said you would never do the same Robert and you saw the state you were in that fucking day! ⎯ he looks at me ⎯ So why the fuck, at this time of night my stepsister is fucking calling you!?

⎯ It's nothing you're thinking about.

⎯ I swear Robert, I hope this is a fucking lie ⎯ I touch your face ⎯ Tell me this is all a lie Please tell the truth.

He looks at me with that same look as when he was wrong with me, he takes my hand and I take a deep breath.

⎯ I'm not cheating on you ⎯ he speaks and I hand him the ringing cell phone

⎯ Answer Robert, please ⎯ he answers and turns on the sound

- Hi blondie, how are you?

- Why are you calling me at this time Yara?

- Wow, how bad, I missed my favorite brother-in-law

- Miss what?

- You know, of our nights, you and I together. In that motel remember?

⎯ Robert ⎯ I sigh looking at him

- There's nothing like a motel Yara, are you delirious?!

- Yes, yummy, I'm delirious later that night! He hangs up his cell phone and throws it on the bed and hugs me.

⎯ Please don't go please ⎯ he asks hugging me ⎯ Sorry fuck sorry, please, please Y/n don't go away!

⎯ Let me go ⎯ I speak without a voice

⎯ Please Y/n, it was a please moment and it wasn't like that...

⎯ LEAVE ME THE FUCK! ⎯ I take the air

⎯ Please ⎯ he whispers and I push him away ⎯ Let's talk please.

⎯ I was guarding and mourning our son and you betraying me Robert!? ⎯ I speak indiguinated ⎯ OUR SON DIED AND YOU TRAINED ME!?

⎯ I DON'T BETRAY YOU!

⎯ Oh no, you didn't cheat on me Robert, really? ⎯ I approach him ⎯ Was what she said a lie? Or did I hear wrong!? Go SPEAK!

⎯ I DON'T BETRAY YOU! ⎯ he insists

⎯ So what the fuck did you do to her Robert? ⎯ clean my face ⎯ Please speak for your remaining dignity!

⎯ I went out with her a few times and... A... We talked and she understood me!.. ⎯ he responds stuttering

⎯ So she understands you!?, really Robert?! ⎯ I sit on the bed ⎯ We were going to get married, I was going to try a child again Robert and you go and do this with my sister!? ⎯ he kneels in front of me

⎯ There was no sex I promise, it was just drinking and nothing else ⎯ he starts crying

⎯ Please don't go away, please go away.

⎯ The same thing they've done to you is doing to me.

⎯ I don't betray you, for our son Y/n!

⎯ STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!

⎯ I'm sorry, please ⎯ he takes my hand ⎯ Forgive me, please!

⎯ Take your things and get out of here Robert.

⎯ Please Y/n, let me explain please ⎯ he insists.

⎯ I won't repeat, take your things and leave ⎯ the eye ⎯ You're dead to me Robert Pattinson.