#juno journal

I've been trying to write something frivolous and fun all day. Do I want to edge... or eat... or shower... or sleep? I have a gorgeous new toy. It's glass. It's pretty. I want to edge my brains out with it. Can't really move though. Going into sleep deprivation fetish territory here. So tired I can't even think. I'd probably do anything he says now. Except maybe jumping jacks. Definitely not with clamps attached from my clit to my nipples. ...terrible idea. Kind of hot idea. So tired. Normal service will resume tomorrow.

And I don’t even get that.

Female, 20-something, will sleep with anyone who has air con. Will have anal sex in exchange for iced coffee. Happy if left covered in cum and bruises. Hasn't had an orgasm in two weeks. Regular repetitions of "good girl" will facilitate continued obedience. It is recommended to fuck her harder if she cries. Secretly likes meanness. Does not like heatwaves.

I'm very happy I'm back at work today. I played with myself pretty much non-stop this weekend. It got obsessive, and a little bit unhealthy. Today, it's back to basics. I edged quickly and softly in the shower. I'll briefly edge again this afternoon. And when I come home tonight I'll limit myself to one or two edges. James said we could have a ruin, but I don't want one. The hormonal drop makes me feel horrible, and it makes me want to quit the challenge. It's really hard. I have to do this alone, without support from anyone, without cuddles or encouragement from anyone. I feel sad and alone today. I just want to be held by strong safe arms, and told that I am strong and I can do this. I'm always almost deciding to quit. It's so hard to do this alone. So today I'm back to basics. Nothing too painful or extreme. Just a few edges. And no cumming.