#juminweek22

Day Six: Philautia

With you being away for the weekend, Jumin had the penthouse to himself. Naturally, he kept himself busy with work and Elizabeth the Third, but there was a glaring you-shaped hole missing… and it was getting harder to ignore.

Moving to the small, peach-colored Bose speaker, Jumin smiled fondly. Memories of you dancing wildly or delicately filled his mind — he chuckled as he recalled a spin you had been trying to master, only to land on the bed, couch, or his arms as you toppled over.

Running his fingers through the indented play button, he tilted his head. Surely, you wouldn’t mind him using your stereo…? Or listening to your Spotify playlist?

Jumin opened the account, album covers of Disney, true crime podcasts, and unfamiliar Japanese and Korean artists littering the screen. Eyes softening, he opened the playlist you created — the image you chose being of a wide-eyed Elizabeth the Third looking cluelessly and cutely towards the camera.

Jumin coughed back a laugh; 100 hours and 8 minutes worth of music you enjoyed.

Hm.

Looking back down at your speaker, he pressed the on button, familiar green and blue lights illuminating it. Immediately connecting through Bluetooth, a song boomed throughout the penthouse —

Scaring the absolute shit out of him. Scrambling to turn it down, Jumin closed his eyes and let out a huff.

If you were here, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. He could already imagine your endless laughing.

“Why she insists on turning this thing all the way up is beyond me.” With a sharp click of his tongue, he glanced at the song playing on his phone. “TiK… ToK. Tick tock. I wonder if this Kesha knows the title of her song is spelt wrong.”

With great caution, Jumin turned the volume up on your speaker. A catchy pop-bop filled his ears, but he was still… apprehensive with this kind of music. While your personality shined through catchy diddy’s and endless repetition, Jumin preferred a calmer tone. Light jazz, even scat if he was feeling adventurous.

Turning the music up a little more, he began to understand the appeal. Bobbing his head and patting his thigh with his hand to the beat, he felt himself begin to relax. It felt like you were home, just around the corner, shouting the lyrics you dedicated to memory.

Swaying his hips loosely and relaxing his arms, allowing them to sway naturally to the beat of the music, Jumin smiled. He was only taught formal forms of dance, never something as spontaneous as this. Spreading his legs wider, Jumin grabbed and threw his jacket to the couch. Feet tapping against the floor, he took a chance and started to move around the way you would — toes barely touching the floor, arms up and out to the side, hair madly swooshing in different directions.

He felt ridiculous, but free. Gaining more momentum, Jumin started hopping to the intoxicating rhythm, his long legs skipping from the kitchen to the living room. The small smile on his lips was so much bigger now; he made giddy sounds he had never made before, squeaking in his adrenaline and laughing loudly.

Body glistening with sweat, Jumin slid his tie from around his neck and shot his arm into the air, waving the tie while moving his hips from side to side. Spotting his reflection in the window, his laughter only grew, filling the penthouse with a noise it hadn’t known from him.

Now he understood why you did this everyday!

Pushing the door open with your knee, you set your luggage down and twisted your backpack off your shoulders. The blaring music instantly alerted you. “Jumin? Sweetheart?”

“Tick tock, on the clock, but the party don’t stop, no. OH, WHOA, WHOA OH.”

You clapped your hand over your mouth, muffling a laugh. That was definitely the voice of your husband.

Peeking your head around the corner, your mouth fell in amused bewilderment. Jumin’s elegant figure was no more as he stood thrusting his hips, shaking his butt, and waving his arms to music only you listened to in this relationship. You couldn’t help it; raising your phone, you snapped a quick picture of him…

The click alerting him instantaneously.

Spinning around, hair wet from his sweat, his body tensed. “Darling…!”

Wiggling your fingers, you shined your largest smile his way. “Hi ~!”

While he slammed his hand repeatedly onto the speaker to turn it off to no avail, you ran to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. Jumin hesitantly wrapped an arm around you, very aware of how sweaty he was. “Welcome… home, what is wrong with this speaker.”

You lowered the volume and buried your chin in his chest. “I see you enjoyed yourself while I was away!”

Jumin blushed deeply, his ears ringing. “Darling, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh, I think it’s exactly what it looks like.” Pushing his matted bangs back, you gripped his hand. “Don’t be embarrassed! Come on, Mister Fancy Pants! Show me what you can do!”

Jumin beamed, pressing his warm and wet lips against yours. And as you led him to a wider space, the drowning music filling his ears and you before his eyes, there was no better place to be.

“Now listen to me Jumin, you cannot fall in love until you don’t love yourself.”

He didn’t understand these words his father told him when he was still young. His small gray eyes blinking up to the man who just got dumped by another gold digger. A man so smart and realistic, yet so fooled and blinded by love. 

Years later when he first met Rika, then he understood. because she told him too. But how was he supposed to love himself? Nobody ever taught him, nobody showed him what to do. Sure he was content with his life, he achieved all he could wish for. He graduated from high school, went to a renowned university, he became the heir of C&R and had enough money to get by. However, sometimes he felt like he lost his soul along the way - except when he met with Jihyun or Rika. For some reason they knew him better than Jumin knows himself. 

He swayed the glass of red wine around, his eyes locked on the liquid. Then he sighed, both of them were long gone. Lost in his thoughts Jumin didn’t hear his phone ringing at first. 

He picked it up eventually, even though the young man wasn’t in the mood to talk. But it was Mc and he grew quite fond of her, even though he was not ready to admit it.

“Hello?”

“Jumin, hi, I was wondering if I could come over? Oh, ehm, it’s me, Mc. I need someone I can talk to.”

The young heir sighed. He was tired, exhausted and just wanted to rest. But 

“pretty please???” she begged through the phone.

“Well I was just about to go to bed, but it does sound rather urgent, are you okay?” 

“I’ll tell you when I get there. See you.” and with that she hung up. 

A few minutes later she stood in front of him, he helped her out of her jacket before she kneeled down to greet Elizabeth the 3rd, crawling his cat right at he favorite spot. Jumin smiled while watching them, enjoying the view

Soon after they sat down on his couch, he watched her fiddling with the cuffs of her oversized sweater. He could tell she was nervous.

“So to what do I owe you your visit?” he arched a brow taking a sip from his tea. 

“Well, I, uh, actually I need to tell you something.” she murmured. He nodded, waiting for her to continue. 

“Jumin, I think I love you.” He coughed turning to face her again, looking at her blushed face, he would never forget this sight, she looked so soft and warm. 

But as much as he had yearned to hear those three words from her, he was skeptical. How was he supposed to love her when he didn’t even love himself?

“I’m sorry Mc, I don’t know what to say.” He rubbed his temples and rested his elbows on his legs.

“Did I say something wrong? Does that mean you don’t like me?” 

She watched his dark locks shake from left to right. 

“No, not at all. I really like you Mc. I just don’t understand what you see in me.”

The young woman crawled over to him, her small hand cupping his cheek. He placed his hand on top of hers. 

“You see, my father once told me that I can only fall in love if I love myself. But you know what? I hate it. I hate myself, that cold, heartless monster I became over the years. Emotionless, and tangled up in my thoughts which strings pull closer with each step I take every once and a while. Mc, I just, I don’t want you to fall in love with me. I’m scared to put such a heavy burden on your shoulders.”

“Bullshit.” She cursed and stroked his cheek with her thumb. 

“You’re far more than that. You’re not perfect but truth be told nobody is - look at me. Jumin, you’re one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. You're smart, kind, funny, and pretty cute sometimes, especially when you behave like an old, grumpy man. I don’t mind if you’re a little gloomy on some days or that you become the Joker on another day. Because that’s who you are. The way I see it, your father was a complete idiot to tell you something like this. Love grows under any condition.” A soft smile appeared on the heirs face and he blinked slowly. Without any haste he moved his other hand up and put it on her neck, softly inching her face towards his. 

Day Three: Storge

Trigger warning: Death Mention.

“I want Mommy!!”

“Mommy isn’t here right now —”

A deafening shriek from Jumin’s son — spawn, more like — pierced through Jumin’s eardrums. Frustration overwhelmed him in an instant, the urge to grab the boy’s arm and pull him into his room stronger than any conflict resolution.

“I want Mommy!!!”

Sweeping his young son into his arms, Jumin winced as the child’s hands smacked his face with open palms. Reaching to shield his face, Jumin’s eyes widened as the boy’s arms wrapped around his neck, nearly strangling him.

“Son,” Jumin choked.

“Mommy!!!”

“Stop.”

“Mommy!!!”

“Stop.”

Jumin’s authority rang clear. The boy released his rage-filled grip on his father’s neck, lower lip wobbling uncontrollably.

“Mommy isn’t here. Mommy is gone, do you understand me?”

The boy’s soft whine only agitated Jumin further. “Where… wha, where did she go?”

Looking into eyes greener than emeralds, Jumin was at a loss for words. His exhaustion proved evident as his shoulders slumped and his grip loosened round his son’s bottom.

“Daddy…?”

“Mommy is… in a place we cannot reach.” Jumin’s voice began to shake. “She… ehm.”

It was quiet now. So quiet that Jumin was able to think. And he would do anything for some kind of noise, even if it meant his son screaming into his ear.

But the young boy stared at his father, searching for an answer - waiting to learn of your whereabouts.

Your fate.

Anything.

“Is she on a vacation?”

His son’s sudden question yanked Jumin from his thoughts. “… Yes. Yes, she’s on vacation. The biggest… and best vacation ever.”

“Bestier than the trip to DisneyLand?”

Jumin nodded slowly. “Yes. But her vacation is different.”

Adjusting his son in his arms, Jumin walked to the balcony of the house… your house. Pointing up to the sky, Jumin’s voice nearly disappeared with the wind. “You see? That is where she went.”

“Heaven?”

The very word sank its teeth into Jumin’s heart. He struggled to catch his breath, to regain his strength. “Yes. That is the one place in this world that we cannot go to. Not yet.”

“But I wanna see her now, Da.”

“No.” Jumin’s hold tightened, practically smushing his son against his chest. “No, no. You are to stay with me. You aren’t ready to see her yet, understand?”

Whimpering, the confused youth clung onto his father.

And the dam inside of Jumin broke.

~If you like Pina Colada~

Is it possible to fall in love in one evening? That was the question that haunted Jumins mind, his onyx gaze was glued onto you. Did you put a spell on him or was it the intoxicating alcohol from the cocktails he emptied too quickly? 

Either way, his heart was beating faster than usual, and he started to feel his blood flushing his cheeks and the tip of his ears every time you smiled at him. If only he knew that you felt the same way about him, how much you enjoyed listening to his deep voice rambling about the latest business plans, and his immense knowledge about…- well almost everything. It blew your mind. All the more you were surprised how well you two understood each other, so well that you almost felt like you knew him for all of your life. He made you feel warm and welcome.

For the third time this evening you wanted to prepare another drink for the two of you. Since Jumin just told you he never drank a pina colada before you wanted this to be his first- something special. 

With a soft chuckle he stood up and followed you into the kitchen, where you just tried to make yourself another cocktail. It probably wasn’t a good idea to let you drink that, a real gentleman wouldn’t do that (at least according to Zen). But there he was, watching you trying to put the ingredients into the cocktail shaker. 

“Now I just have to put the pineapple juice in there and it’s ready~” you chirped, dancing around a little bit and with all the confidence you had you grabbed the shaker. Before Jumin could even open his mouth to warn you about it, you started shaking the world out of the shaker, within just a few seconds the lid fell off and you spilled the freshly made pina colada onto your little black dress. 

“Oh shoot. I’m so sorry Jumin, I’ll clean it up right away!” You stumbled over the words, while you were looking for a cloth to soak up the liquid on the floor. 

“Don’t worry about it, You've got to save your dress first. Go. I'll give you a hand in a second okay?” He gently pushed your back, to show you to the bathroom, and turned around to clean up the mess you made.  

..........................

“Am I really this drunk?” You mumbled while you soaked your dress with water. The stains weren’t as bad but the dress literally stuck to your body in the most uncomfortable way.

You sat down on the toilet, trying to come up with a plan. You felt so dumb, sticky and drunk and for some reason you started crying. What a nightmare. You wanted to vanish from the face of earth, this wasn’t what you wished for tonight.

........................ After a while you heard a soft knock on the door. “Mc?” “Yeah?” “It’s me, Jumin. Are you okay?” You knew he didn’t really know what to say.  “hmhm” you sobbed.  “May I come in? You don’t really sound well” The voice on the other side sounded concerned. After a small stretch to your back you walked over to the door to open it, quickly wiping away the rest of the drunken tears that came out of nowhere.  “Thank you.'' he whispered, reaching out his hand to put it onto your shoulder. “I should have warned you about it.” You sobbed again. “it’s not your fault Jumin. I’m just drunk, and sticky. and I smell like pina colada. I’m sorry but I just…”  “It smells good though, hopefully we can share a drink the next time we meet. I’m really looking forward to it.” With a large step he walked past you into the bathroom to give you a set of towels, kneeling down in front of the drawer. Then he heard you sobbing again and Jumin looked at you over his shoulder. “My dear, why are you crying?” “Because I wanted this evening to be something special for you, but now I just ruined everything. I’m so sorry, I thought that it would all go well and now look at me, I’m a mess and my dress is sticky and you are.. You are just you, you’re perfect. Why did I think that this would work out? The perfect husband material and then next to him - me - a walking disaster.”

................. The young man blinked twice before standing up to hand you the towels. He paused when your hands brushed against each other. Then he started to smile. With a quick move he pulled you into a soft embrace, his hands hugged your soft face, before pulling you into a kiss. The feeling of his lips, warm and soft against yours, made your toes curl. There was no sticky dress to think about, no ruined evening, it was just the two of you, enjoying the moment. Neither of you wanted to back away from each other. Your hands duck deeper into his dark locks, and he moaned softly, it almost reminded you of a purring cat.  

  After releasing you from the kiss you gasped for air, neither of you wanted to say anything, you were both still lost in the moment. 

Until Jumin couldn’t hold back his smile anymore. “Husband material? Do you really think of me like that?” He arched one of his brows, looking at your reaction. 

“I.. I actually do. I really like you Jumin. That’s why I wanted to see you in the first place, I wanted this night to be special for you.”

Day Four: Ludus

“Oh, oh no, ooh no…”

“Calm down, let’s think about this reasonably —”

“Jumin, we did things!”

He didn’t want to think about it. Murmuring a string of curses under his breath, Jumin ran his fingers through his hair… trying desperately to ignore the sticky sensation he felt on his fingers and scalp.

“Oh God, we’re going to hell, aren’t we?”

Squinting his eyes, Jumin gave you a look of pure confusion and bewilderment. “What?”

“Don’t give me that look, aren’t we supposed to wait until marriage to… do what we did?!”

“Listen to me. There is no point in fixating on the what ifs. We’re here. Now.”

“So, then, what are we going to tell everybody?!”

Your shouting urged Jumin to rub his temples… then quickly retract his still-sticky fingers from his skin. “Ehm… then, we need to make this right.” Slowly lowering to one knee, Jumin pulled his student ring from his middle finger and offered it up to you. “Will you marry me?”

You froze in place, unblinkingly staring up at him. Eventually, Jumin stood and moved towards you, leaning forward to meet your height. “Come back to me.”

Blinking quickly, you covered your reddening cheeks and practically yanked your body away from Jumin, the action reminding him of a scene from The Exorcist.

“You can’t be serious,” you belted, deliriously laughing. “You, you’re absolutely mad! I’m nineteen, you’re, what, twenty?!”

“Twenty-three”

“Oh, oh I’m gonna be sick.”

“To be fair, my father has been encouraging me to get married —”

“Oh, shut up!” You quickly yanked your skirt on, buttoned the top of your school uniform, and slammed your feet into your shoes.

Jumin watched you closely, annoyed that you hadn’t answered him. Or tied your shoes. “I take it you’re denying my proposal?”

“What do you think, Jumin?!”

“… Well, based on your body language and tone of voice, I’d say —”

“No, I will not marry you!!” You slammed the door to his private suite, leaving him to process the memory of the night before, and the last ten minutes.

Jumin scribbled his signature, handing the document of agreement to Jaehee. “Here. What else do I need to sign.”

“Nothing at the moment, Mr. Han. You have the next three to five minutes until your next meeting. I’ll meet you then.”

As his efficient assistant walked out of the room, Jumin closed the door behind her and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the next conference. It was his third year working for his father’s company as an Executive Director, and only two years since he hired his first Executive Assistant.

This was it; the real world, a world after college.

He had been wanting to get to this life sooner than what was planned, not because he excelled at every subject matter that was thrown at him…

But because he didn’t want to be at the same school as you.

Your rejection of his proposal had far damaged him than he realized. Surely, through the years, he had learned how to talk to members of the opposite sex with more charm and charisma than he had shown you — maybe if he had learned those skills before that fateful night, you would have…

It wasn’t important.

Jumin straightened his tie pin and took a sip of sparkling water just as Jaehee knocked on the door to the conference room.

“Come in.” Authoritative, bold, maybe a tad intimidating.

Opening the door a little wider, Jaehee bowed her head. “Mr. Han, our pleasing client is here.”

Stepping aside, Jaehee made room for none other than you. Jumin recognized you immediately; your cropped hair had grown out past your shoulders now, your hips — the very hips he dug his fingers into years ago — swayed confidently, void of the reticence he had seen in college.

And your eyes. Your deep amber eyes stared directly at him. Into his soul.

“Mr. Han, I’d like to introduce you to —”

“No need. We know each other.”

You brushed your hair back, revealing your collarbone. Jumin felt a growing pressure against his slacks.

You smirked devilishly. “Yes. We know each other very well. Well then. Shall we, Jumin?”

Day Seven: Obsessive Love

We made it, folks! Give yourself a round of applause! Thank you so much to @juminweek2019 for hosting this marvelous week-long event, it’s been a blast!

And, dear readers and rebloopers, thank you for your kindness, your humor, your dedication to reading my lil blurbs. I really can’t tell you just how much it means to me.

For the Han!! 💜

You loved him so much.

Voice as smooth as rich velvety cake batter, hair softer than the fur on a puppy, hands lightly calloused yet so soft against your cheeks, eyes stormy yet so full of undying affection and devotion…

“You’re daydreaming again, honey.”

Snapping back to reality, you moved behind him and draped your arms around his neck. “I can’t help it, Jumin. You’re so… you’re so…”

Twisting to face you with brows raised, you couldn’t stop yourself from touching his cheek, dragging your fingers over his sharp jawline, past his Cupid’s bow, and over the vague dorsal hump on his nose.

Jumin responded in kind, grabbing your wrists and turning his head to kiss the palms of your hands. Your stomach flipped and fluttered; you loved these moments with him and you couldn’t wait to —

“Darling.”

“I love you so much, Jumin. And you, you love me too.”

Moving to his feet, Jumin walked around the couch and pulled you to him. “Of course I love you.”

“Yes… yes, you do.” You started giggling softly, your hands exploring his slender and powerful body.

“Darling.”

Your giggle grew into a full, belly-aching laugh. Your fingertips digging into his skin, you gradually fell to your knees. Your laughs morphed into ferociously angry sobs and deafening screams.

Kneeling before you, Jumin took your face into his hands. Thumbs caressing your cheeks, he leaned in and spoke gingerly.

“You need to let me go. I cannot keep coming back here.”

“No. No, you — you belong here, you promised me forever!!”

Jumin tilted his head slightly — just as he always did. “I am still with you. I will always be with you. You need to let me go now… so I can protect and help you from where I need to be.”

“No.” You shook your head. “Why protect and help me from there, why can’t you do it here?”

“You know I can’t. Please.” Eyes pleading, Jumin raised your chin. “Please. Grant me this peace and allow yourself to heal —”

“I said no!!”

Your sudden movement extinguished the flame in front of you.

And your husband - your Jumin - left with it.

“No, no, no…” you scribbled Jumin’s full name onto a fresh sheet of paper, pricking your finger with the same overused needle you had been using all this time.

Reaching into his urn, you sprinkled Jumin’s ashes over your blood smear. Giddiness filled your heart.

You’d get to see him again.

And again.