#juliangraham

Writing seems to be working lately, so here's another attempt at me trying to convey my thoughts. 

I've fallen in love with the song; "Time Go" by Catching Ghosts. These lyrics haunt me: 

"Living on the back nine, living out your past life, trying to make a living as an outlaw.

But the problem you see, stealing ain't what it used to be, everyone's used to it by now. 

You pack up your gun, make your best run, your thinking isn't breaking any new ground. . . "

 That second verse just hits me every time  That's great music, taking you to a same, but slightly different place each time.

The search for someone that can help fill up my time continues. Had a long break from a relationship after a few years (hookups are fun, but meaningless in the end). So I've gone through different stages of putting what exactly I want right now out there, stopped backtracking to past girls that aren't going to take me further in this mini-quest. It's been fun, but focusing on one girl seems pretty damn ideal right now.

Which brings me to rejection. Everyone's been through it, and I have some stories (you'll get another reason why it's pretty cool to not have to go through this for a while). Listed from A to C.

A) What? She was older (just a few years, not being particular, like 20s) and didn't know I was younger? Well, that ruined something awesome and going somewhere. But nonetheless, don't kiss and tell too much.

B) She invited me to hang out with her and her friends. We made out a party beforehand so I was pretty comfortable going. Had a fun night where we all laughed and was a good vibe. UNTIL most of them went to go do something outside or whatever and I was utterly rejected. Rest of the night was awkward. . .  Dammit. 

C) We flirted, texted and spoke every now and then. She gave off an "ask me out vibe" so I did. Oh what's that? You have a boyfriend? (Well fuck that dude). This has happened more than you know. And maybe they expect me to fight for them or something, but not worth the trouble. Next minute I'm the boyfriend fighting off some douchebag guitarist . . . 

Ah well, there are more. But there are a lot of great ones that really hold me to my song; "Tonight" (have a listen, scroll down to see it live). 

Ever think that on one particular day in the future, you'll remember how you THOUGHT that the day you'll remember will be different, but then it turns out to be completely irrelevant?

Like in 2020 you'll think, "Wow, that one day I opened at Micheal Buble's concert in Soccer City in South Africa was pretty damn awesome. Good thing I'm coming back in 2021 to be the headliner there." When it turns out that you probably ended up staying home, wishing you could sleep properly for one night and if this will be the night.

But in reality it's 2013 and you're already creating an alternate reality to a dream that already HAD it's alternate reality?