#julia sinclair

The next step starts today. The next step of everything. The next step of my growing up, of my career, of coming out.

In 8 hours I leave. What should I call this? The nest? My whole family is here. Here, I’m both loved and supported and yet so isolated and alone. Here is stifling and both safe and unsafe. Here my family provides for me, here they bring me opportunities and want my input. Heck, I just named my uncle’s new restaurant. But here, in this house, I came out exactly 2 years ago (minus a day, interestingly it was the 20th) to my aunt and uncle, and things are different here now. They didn’t approve. They haven’t talked about it since either. And I’ve been so afraid they would because, I know I’m not safe, and I can’t lie. I’ve been staying in this house all summer. And there’s a lot of me avoiding contact and staying in my room.

I’ve been working at the restaurant my uncle manages this summer because it was a better opportunity than my job back home. They offered me full hours and nearly a 5 dollar pay increase per hour. Which was totally necessary since my sister and I will be getting an apartment when I get back, and I was making just over min wage and getting 15 hours per week at home.

My grandma is selling the house we’ve been living in so we have to move. And college starts next week and I am unemployed as of today.

Yesterday was my last day of work here, and my job back home is gone due to a totally unforeseen turn of events. I called in to ask if I could stay a few more weeks, only to discover the name of the restaurant changed, my old manager was gone, I was not scheduled for August, I “had come in to pick up my last check”, and they now have a full staff. Obviously WTF was blaring in my head. Still is. Sucks to be forgotten. Going to call their head of catering though so I have some sort of reference for 2 years of work, and maybe get some hours.

So I’m job hunting, apartment hunting and needing to finish registering for classes. A bit scary all on its own.

But as for the coming out process... Today is the start of the next step my sister, my boyfriend and I have been waiting for. My mom is staying here, and has her own house now. So my sister and I are on our own. And that means independence and freedom which is terrifying and exciting. The threat of losing a home and control of our lives is nearly past. Now losing our family and struggling to take care of ourselves is our new challenge.

I suppose there are a lot of things to update my blog on, sorry I don’t post as much as I should. SO.

After I moved, I met my boyfriend on tumblr, we fell for each other after so many not-sure-this-will-work-long-distance’s but it did and has been nearly 2 years. I’m so happy with him. He’s begun transitioning FTM and I am so proud of him. He’s visited secretly twice and coming again in October.

I came out to my sister with his help and she came out as bi to me. She has a girlfriend now so we both feel the pressure to get our independence and safety.

Since my last posts, my mom has made her opinion on LGBT things quite clear on several occasions. Getting out became our priority.

I also started college last year. Made some friends who happen to be all over the LGBT spectrum.

Hoping to become more active in the LGBT spaces now as well as find a safe church. My sister came out to her writing group after the attack at Pulse and they gave her so many resources and contact information for allies.

So I think that’s about it.

Found Sinclair yesterday and shared her with my sister and we’ve both decided she’s amazing and now that it’s nearly 10 am (9:59 actually) the tickets to her show in November are actually on sale. She’s amazing. She and her wife are so adorable. Her music is awesome and her story is so important. I don’t think we could have found her at a better time. Been listening to her entire track list all morning. Especially like SMX, Heaven on Earth and This Too Shall Pass, but love all of her songs. (Tickets ordered!)