404

What the fuck

This comes around every thanksgiving for like 3 years running now and it activates my fight or flight response

The only thing I trust is the cake but there’s a huge cursed vibe like a god of chaos and disorder decided to have a photoshoot and this is the result

Every time I talk to my roommate I feel my pineal gland calcify and my third eye close a little bit more

Last night she asked me how many days there are in a year and I said “why do you not know that?” and she said “why the fuck would I need to know that?”

She’s getting ready for work rn while listening to the Carrie Underwood song from the Super Bowl at full volume

Last night she was telling me about a car accident she was in years ago and she said they had to use the “jar of live” and I was like. Do you mean the jaws of life and she said “you don’t know what the jar of life is?”

She’s sitting next to me scrolling through a facebook meme page scream laughing and showing me literally every post and saying “what’s wrong? Are you okay” if I don’t laugh hard enough

This is like the straight equivalent of Get Out

I don’t hang out with white dudes who use mustache wax anymore bc it’s only a matter of time b4 they fall in love with me and find out I’m gay and write a song on their…idk..their fuckin harpsichord or banjo or ukulele about the girl from the forest who broke their heart but also they don’t even like hiking

i know this seems oddly specific & that’s bc it is

3 times

This is a Christian website now.

I just noticed that’s a hand with a glove around her neck not a scarf

what thef uck

“no vegans”

If I could visit one even in history the Mama Mia Wrap party would be that event.