#jul rambles

On January, this year (2018) my cousin Karen (20 years old) and I (20 years old) left Venezuela looking for a better future. We only had money to go to Peru and so we did. After 6 days travelling on a bus, we arrived to Lima, which we decided to leave because we didn't find a job, we were left almost homeless by some people we are no longer talking to which by the way are way older than us, we didn't have nothing to eat (our dinners consisted of popcorn) and Peruvians were treating us horrible just because we were Venezuelans. So we came to Arequipa, we took a bus with the little money we had left and arrived here, a friend of my mom was the one who told us to come here. The same day we arrived we luckily found a room for the two of us and even if the room wasn’t the best it at least had a bed. My cousin found a job almost two weeks after we arrived, I found a job almost four weeks later and while we didn't have jobs we were selling candies on the street. Which we are doing now too. My cousin's boss was underpaying her and she was working more than 12 hours a day. She had a wage of 450 soles a month, when the minimum wage in Peru was 850 soles (now 930) a month. Meanwhile I worked on a clothing store but they were blaming me for stuff that weren't my fault, and when the minimum wage raised they told me they weren't going to pay me that because ''I was Venezuelan and I didn't deserve to have the same pay as all the Peruvians.'' We started to look for another job because we deserved better, but her boss was starting to take notice of what she was doing, so she lent us a kitchen and said she was going to pay her a little bit more because she didn't want her to leave. One day we were really done with our jobs and that same day the opportunity of another job was presented to us, we said yes immediately because they offered us one meal a day and the pay was better.

When we both quit, her boss took away the kitchen and said she wasn't going to pay her half the moth she worked, which was 425 soles. Meanwhile my boss told me they weren't going to pay me for about a whole month, we were really upset but we were hoping the best for our new job. But nothing was better, we found out that the Restaurant was also working as a secret whore's place. We didn't want to be part of that so we decided to leave the restaurant, they paid us but to this day they still owe us 50 soles. My cousin found a job first and some days later I found a job as well. She is now working as a part time waitress on a nice restaurant. Meanwhile I got tricked by the place I was working at. I started to work but at the end of my first week they told me ''thanks for your collaboration but the girl who was taking a rest is coming back to work this Monday, you can come for your pay next week''. I had to be paid 150 soles and they just paid me 90 soles. Now we are really, really worried because we have to leave Peru on July, the reason is the Visa they gave us expires on July 17th (they only gave us 180 days to stay here) and we don’t want to be here illegally. Peru has been really rough with us, our ex bosses together owe us more than 500 soles and we can't do anything about it. So we are asking for your help because we really need it, so if you could please donate us at least one dollar (or whatever currency you have) so we can buy two bus tickets to get out of Peru on July 10th that would be amazing. We have to go to Bolivia or Chile, where we have friends and family. We would be so thankful with you if you donate and if we only collect money for at least one ticket that would be amazing as well, please help us and thank you so much if you do. Our names are Jul and Karen, two 20 year old girls who left their country, family, friends and whole life to find a better future, we would be really thankful if you can share this with your family and friends as well!

Here is the link to the PayPal fundraise i just opened, please help us

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Description: Basically, we get a closer look on how are things going for Mae 4 years later and Loki is about to fuck it up big time.

Warnings for the whole fic: yes, a lot. Strong language such as cursing, violence of course, death yes, also spoilers for all the MCU movies already released to date, and also a lot of fluff cause yeah lol I love fluff. AND ANGST.

Words: 3.044 (omg lol)

Note: maybe some chapters will be written on third person. And oh my fucking god, I’m so sorry, I’m like months later for this but trust me, moving to another country by yourself and starting from 0 really fucks up with your feelings and your mind. And I’m not saying I’m good now but I’m better than some months ago, and I feel like I got my muse back, so yep. Sorry, but I’m here!

my masterlist!

4 years later.

2017, actuality. Earth time.

It was hilarious.

I could hear the guards screaming at each other while getting frustrated as they kept running and chasing me down the halls, or more accurately, chasing my illusion down the halls. Meanwhile I was calmly watching them, sitting just a store above them. I was in that part of the castle that only royalty or high military could get in, and they were chasing me because I was neither of those, but I always managed to get my way in.

I always did because that was the part of the castle I had to see Loki almost every night, after everyone in there went to sleep, except the guards of course.

I was already upstairs and running a little late to my training but oh, it was so much fun to see how confused and frustrated they kept getting, but now I really had to go so I just made the illusion go away and seconds later I could hear the guards arguing about who missed me out of sight first while I just walked away of them. I let out a little chuckle as I started to hear the fight that was starting between them.

It was a classic, and almost every night they still fell for it.

But it wasn’t always like that, I remember how the first time I tried to sneak up on them they nearly killed me, for real, because they caught me so easily. They had their swords ready to slay me but they were stopped by Loki dressed up as Odin just seconds before they did, I was scared to death but he said that I needed to get over it and learn how to sneak up on people because that would help me in my training.

I didn’t want to do it the first times, but when I finally succeeded I knew that he was right, every time it just got easier and easier to sneak in without them knowing and for me it started to be a hobbie. It was actual, real fun.

I liked it so much that I didn’t sneak in that part of the castle only, but in many other places too. I’ve seen places of Asgard no one has been able to see before, because they are restricted areas and I’m proud of myself for doing it, and Loki should be too… but he doesn’t quite know about that.

I mean, not that he cared neither.

‘’Miss Mae’’, I heard as I entered the room and a dagger flew to my face right away. ‘’You’re late’’

‘’Fuck off’’, I said as I quickly took the dagger just before it hit me and threw it back at him. I tried not to smile as I saw him taking it again with such ease. It was weird to see Odin moving that smoothly.

‘’Why are you late Mae, are you playing with my guards again?’’, he asked while making the dagger disappear in thin air. I smiled in response and he just smiled back, knowing that he was right.

‘’Why are you still in your Odin disguise, anyway?’’, I asked as I left my stuff on the table and looked at him, I learned that I always had to be aware of everything. And more if Loki was around.

After all he was the God of Mischief, so things could turn… an amusement for him, dangerous for me.

‘’I wanted to trick you’’, the Odin figure quickly vanished as Loki suddenly whispered in my ear. He tried to attack me but I quickly blocked him, rejecting his punches and trying to punch him back. ‘’But I see you’ve gotten faster… and stronger, and smarter too’’. Loki said as he smiled and we both took some steps back.

‘’Yeah, I really don’t like to be taken by surprise… for example, being stabbed, that hurt a lot by the way’’, I said as I frowned and remembered what happened some nights ago, Loki just smiled at the memory and I made a face remembering the pain I had to go through for some days.

‘’My bad, I’m sorry’’

‘’You’re not sorry Loki’’. I knew he wasn’t, I didn’t have anything against him though. Even after all the things he has done, like throwing knifes at me and major things like when he threw me off the stairs just for, and I quote ‘’training’’. I just, from the bottom of my heart, didn’t hold anything back against him.

‘’No, you’re right, I’m not. Besides it was for training… and fun’’, he let out a laugh as he walked towards the table and served himself a cup of wine. ‘’You survived, and that’s what matters Mae’’.

‘’Oh yeah, I think that’s not the right thing to say to someone you stabbed… actually, you shouldn’t stab people on the first place but alright’’

‘’Again, it was for training and you’re perfectly fine!’’, Loki said as he put down his empty cup of wine and looked back at me. ‘’Now come on, stop whining and get in position’’

‘’Already am, Lo, I already am’’, I whispered as I smiled and looked at him, my gown disappearing as I just made the change of clothes to some more comfortable, it was a simple magic trick I learnt the first weeks we started to practice with the Asgardian Magic.

Loki smiled kind of proud of me and the magic trick I just performed, and then the training begun.

Sometimes it consisted of him teaching me his tactics during fights, some other times it was just him trying to teach me his mind tricks, most of the times it was just physical fights and some other occasions we just focused on training the mind, such as perfecting my astral projection and my illusions, which got better with time, of course. Sadly the magic lessons stopped when he noticed that I learnt everything that he could teach me.

And to be honest, the training was fun most of the time, but sometimes it really wasn’t. Like when he stabbed me or maybe kicked me too hard that even the next day it was still hurting, so yeah, sometimes it wasn’t really that nice. But I still looked forward to it; training was almost like an addiction.

Because after all, even the bad things would help me to be stronger and better for the reason he was teaching me all of this. I still didn’t know the whole plan, but I knew it had to do with the avengers and with the fact that I had to pull them away from the inside.

I knew it was going to be hard since the day he told me about it, but I agreed because I felt Loki trusted me enough to do so… oh, and also because he threatened me to agree, so I really didn’t have many options, besides it was still going to take some more years till I was completely ready for the task.

And for going back to Earth, which was my less favourite part of the plan, if I was honest.

‘’You need to be faster with your comebacks, I’ve always said it’’, Loki said as he kept directing punches at me and I rejected them.

‘’I am faster’’, I whispered as I took one dagger from my boot and threw it at him. He unexpectedly took it and redirected it at me, as soon as I saw it coming my way I just closed my eyes and tried to protect my face as much as I could, it took me completely off guard because he has never redirected the daggers I’ve thrown at him before.

I mean, he has thrown me daggers, of course. But his daggers, never mine.

‘’Huh… exactly, that’s what I’m talking about’’.

So I just opened my eyes, a bit confused at what he said and a lot confused as why I didn’t feel the familiar sensation of the blade going through my skin. The first thing I saw was the dagger floating in the air just centimeters away from me, it was being held in a purple matter as it moved weirdly. 

‘’All right, you can stop it’’, Loki said as he started to walk my way.

‘’Sure’’, I said as the matter disappeared and then the dagger just fell on the floor, when it hit the floor it just became ashes. ‘’Ow man, no way, that was my favourite dagger’’.

‘’So you’ve been practicing with your ability’’, Loki said as he stood next to me. He knew he didn’t teach me how to do that, and if I was honest I really didn’t know how I did it.

‘’Everyday’’, sometimes I even felt like it practiced on its own. And did things on its own, too.

‘’Impressing, I got to say’’, he nodded and then just smiled a bit. ‘’You are more ready than I thought you would be by now’’

‘’What?’’, I asked immediately, totally confused. We both were panting a bit and my hair was a total mess so I just started to put it in a pony tail.

‘’Yes… you just need to trust more in yourself. You have the best professor, so you totally know what to do and how to do it’’

I just rolled my eyes at what he said and then just looked at him, he smiled a bit more:

‘’But yes, even your subconscious and your reflexes know what to do. That’s a good sign’’

‘’Yeah… I guess you are right’’, he nodded and then I just saw him putting his arm up as he got closer, at first I thought he was going to pat my back on that weird way he always does but as soon as he got too close I realized he was trying to make a trick on me, or that’s what it felt like, so I quickly pushed him away with a kick on his chest and then just held him on the air for some seconds.

‘’Ouch!’’, he said as he put his hands above the part where I kicked him. ‘’What the hell was that for?’’, he asked while frowning.

‘’You were totally going to strangle me, or something’’, I said while relaxing a bit as he was now in the air and away from me.

‘’Huh… no’’, he said confused and a bit mad now. ‘’I was totally going to congratulate you and give you a hug’’

‘’A hug?’’, I frowned.

‘’Yes, a freaking hug’’, he rolled his eyes and then just looked down at me. ‘’Would you mind putting me down again?’’

‘’Huh, yeah… sorry’’, and then I just made him go down. He fixed his hair as he murmured something about how he couldn’t believe he had to ask that to a kid.

‘’Alright, training is over kid… now, come here’’, I hesitated but I did, and then he just hugged me.

Loki was hugging… me. Okay. Weird enough.

‘’What’s going on?’’, I asked as I hugged him back, weirdly.

It was odd, it felt odd. I really didn’t do hugs.

‘’You’re just… a really good student, the best one’’

‘’The only one too’’, I commented and then he just laughed as he stopped hugging me.

‘’And the best one’’

‘’Alright, thanks… weird of you to say this, but thanks’’

He rolled his eyes and went back to the snack table he always had in that room:

‘’I’m just being nice! Why can’t you take it?’’

‘’Because... when you are nice it feels like it’s error 404 to me’’

‘’Huh?’’

‘’Nevermind’’, I smiled at my own joke.

‘’Alright. Tomorrow there won’t be training sessions, by the way’’, he commented as he took some grapes.

‘’Huh, why not? It’s Friday night’’

‘’Because you have to be up early on Saturday for the theatre’’

‘’Oh… it’s that time of the month already, huh?’’

‘’Yes!’’, I just rolled my eyes as I changed myself back to my gown. ‘’You need to go’’

‘’I always go’’, he nodded.

‘’I know.’’

‘’Good’’, I just walked next to him and grabbed a bit of water from the table.

We were silent for a couple of minutes, until he finally spoke:

‘’So… I really need you to be earlier than ever so you can help with the scenario’’

‘’Oh God, I knew you weren’t being nice just for the sake of being nice’’, I replied as I looked at him.

‘’You’re the only one who knows the right placing of things’’

‘’Alright Lo… I’ll go earlier only if you say the magic words’’

‘’If you don’t, I’ll kill you’’

‘’Geez, no…’’, but he just laughed.

‘’I’m kidding… but please, would you do it?’’

And I smiled, because Loki could be actually nice if he wanted to:

‘’Alright’’

‘’Great’’, and he smiled immediately.

Today something will happen. Like, totally.

I could feel it, it was in the air, in the way the sky looked this morning and more important in the way I could feel the energy around me. It was electric… I could even say it felt… thundering.

‘’I can’t believe you’re making them do this play again’’ I said as I walked to where Loki was already sitting.

‘’Everyone likes The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard!’’, Loki as Odin replied, he was drinking his favourite wine, as always.

‘’Come on’’, I rolled my eyes as I just looked how everyone started to gather around us, they were excited about being there. And he was right, people always cried at that play.

‘’You love it’’, he added.

‘’I don’t’’, I kind of did.

‘’Everyone does’’, he said again with a smile.

‘’I really don’t’’, I repeated.

‘’By the way, good morning Mae’’, he looked up at me as he smiled. ‘’The stage looks amazing today’’

‘’Good morning, my King. And thanks’’, I smiled and then just looked at the scenario, he was right, it looked amazing.

I then looked around and some people pretended to be doing something else, but I knew they were looking at me, because they always did. I sometimes wondered why the Asgardians didn’t ask why the human girl, as they used to call me, was always that close to the King. I mean, they looked at me bad but the way some of them did wasn’t as bad as some years ago.

They looked and talked, but they never asked. They never questioned it.

They rejected me most of the times and sometimes they even laughed at me, but never questioned why Odin always had me around. And I used to think it was maybe a magic trick from Loki, but no, it wasn’t because one day I asked him and he just said: ‘’they never question it because you have never done anything bad to them, if you come in peace they will keep at peace’’.

And even if Asgardians were sometimes weird with me, I liked that about them.

‘’Oh, there we go’’, Loki disguised as Odin said, so excited that he even seemed like a child.

‘’Yep, here we go’’, I murmured.

And the play started. It was the convergence, the battle with the dark elves and then the death of Loki, I’ve seen this play at least some 50 times and the people around me too, and they never seemed to get bored of it.

But I did, I mean it was funny to see how everyone laughed, screamed and cried, sometimes all at the same time. But oh god, it was almost always the same play and you know, you grow out of things if they are always the same.

But today, it really wasn’t going to be the same and I could feel it. I couldn’t tell if it was going to be a good thing or not.

‘’Huh’’, I turned around as I heard something in the distance… the Bifrost was welcoming someone… and that was rather strange.

I turned around again as I saw one man already crying out loud at the death of Loki, on the play of course, and the real Loki disguised as Odin totally into the play, saying the lines of the actors before them.

Ugh, sometimes he really could be something else.

‘’Somebody help!’’, the fake Lady Sif ran away of the stage while crying.

I turned around again as I heard people in the distance murmuring something, they were a bit far from the scenario and something was happening in the entrance, but I couldn’t see because so many people were there. And then people laughed a bit as the actor playing Loki mentioned that he was sorry about turning Thor into a frog.

The real Loki laughed as well and I just smiled trying to imagine that moment, but something felt off and no one else seemed to notice it but me.

After not seeing anything weird at all I just turned around again to watch the end of the play for the now 51st time, but something caught my eye and… oh God.

Oh, literal God of Thunder. 

Thor. That was Thor.

He was back in Asgard and he was now looking at Loki disguised as Odin, and the way he was looking at him wasn’t the way Thor would look at his beloved father.

Oh shit, he knew it. And I knew that he knew it… but I couldn’t tell Loki, besides he was way too into the play to even pay attention to me and whatever I’d say.

Damn, this will be a mess.

I couldn’t keep staring at Thor, no one else seemed to notice him though but then he suddenly looked at me, I kind of smiled and he did too, but then he just kept looking at Loki in that strange way, and I knew that he knew that wasn’t Odin. People suddenly cheered and screamed, while congratulating the actors when the play finished. Loki stood up, too.

‘’Bravo! Bravo!’’, he said while applauding and smiling.

‘’Loki… Loki, dammit, Loki!’’, I tried to whisper as low as possible, but no, he didn’t even listen.

‘’Father’’, Thor suddenly said, taking everyone’s attention, especially Loki’s.

‘’Oh, shit’’, Loki and I said both in unison.

Oh, real shit.

Next Issue:

Dark Night: The God of Thunder.