#juke qpp

It’s just after 2am, and the shore is dark and chilly, the cold sand illuminated only by stars and the lights of the city behind it. Julie kicks her sandals off and sits by the edge of the water, letting the evening tide lap over her bare toes.

There’s nowhere better to be alone with her thoughts than the beach at night. Julie closes her eyes, breathes in the salty sea air, and thinks to herself, Time to figure this out.

And then a voice behind her says< “Oh, you’re gonna be in so much trouble if Mom and Dad find you here.”

Julie scrambles to her feet, biting back a scream. When she registers her older brother standing barefoot in the sand, smirking at her, she whacks him with the back of her hand. “Alex! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Well?” He laughs and settles down into the sand next to her. “What are you doing here, kid? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, look who’s talking,” Julie grumbles, but she sits down again, scooting closer so she can nudge her shoulder against Alex’s. “I just needed to get out. Clear my head.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there.”

They sit in silence together for a while, listening to the waves crash along the beach, and then Julie says, “Are you in love with Bobby?”

Alex blows out a long breath. “Shit, Jules, coming in with the hard-hitting questions now, are we?”

Julie hugs her knees. “Well, come on, are you? You’ve been dating him for, like ever. Mom thinks you’re gonna marry him.”

Even in the dark, she can see Alex’s blush. “I am not gonna—” he starts, then presses his mouth closed and takes a deep breath through his nose. “Ask your real question. Is this about Luke?”

Julie hums, resting her chin on her knees. In the distance, some kind of fish leaps out of the water, like it’s waving at them. “I guess. Yeah.”

“You don’t think you’re in love with him?”

“I don’t think he’s in love with me…”

With each calming breath, Julie filters through another memory— Luke on their anniversary, asking why they had to go on some special date just because it had been a year since he first asked her out; Luke at the homecoming dance, spinning Julie around and complaining about the DJ’s music taste in the same breath; Luke in her bedroom window last night, crying that he must be broken, that he’s not good enough for her, that she should just break up with him and find someone who’ll treat her the way she deserves.

“I don’t want to break up with him,” she whispers, letting the breeze carry her voice away.

Alex makes a thoughtful sound. “Would anything really change if you did? You guys were creepy-close long before you put a label on it. Just go back to that and also see other people if you want.”

Julie doesn’t think she wants to see other people, but she gets Alex’s point. She and Luke wouldn’t have to spend any less time together than they do now. They already don’t do more than kiss, and Luke seems to find even that somewhere between boring and disgusting. Would anything really have to change if she just… stopped calling him her boyfriend?

“Look,” Alex says, pushing himself to his feet. “I won’t pretend I’m any kind of expert on this stuff. Bobby and I… Sometimes, I feel like he’s only dating me cause no one else will.”

“What? He wouldn’t—” Julie starts to protest, but Alex holds a hand up, cutting her off.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m only dating him cause no one else will, too. It’s whatever, it’s high school. My point is…” He brushes the sand off his legs and holds a hand out to help Julie up. “Do whatever’s gonna make you both happy. And whatever’s gonna make sure that kid sticks around, cause he’s good for you. But don’t date him just cause you think you’re supposed to. That’s not fair to either one of you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Julie hugs him tightly around the waist; her head only barely comes up to Alex’s chest. “Thank you.” “Hey, what are big brothers for?” He ruffles her hair. “Now, come on. Let’s get home before someone wakes up and realizes we’re gone— I do not need Ray’s ‘mad at the GPS’ face trained on me tonight.”

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