#juji han

Seungkwan was asleep when they arrived at Vernon’s house. He had missed the scenery that Vernon enjoyed every summer he came there, he had also luckily missed some of Vernon’s swerving.

With a shake to his shoulder, Seungkwan stirred, eyes opening slowly. Night had fallen, and the air was cool, accompanied by crickets chirping loudly and the sound of coyotes yipping and howling.

He got out of the car, taking his things, and following Vernon into the house.

The two stayed silent, Seungkwan sleepily moving up the stairs, ignoring the room with the lights on, lugging his things into his temporary stay, and flopping on the bed. Tomorrow would be a new day and Seungkwan would explore tomorrow but for now, he needed sleep.

The sun shined past the white curtains, Seungkwan’s room coming to life, compared to yesterday’s darkness. He stirred, the inside of his eyelids red. He raised his arms, stretching and letting out a small whine, his body releasing all of yesterday’s emotions; shaking release. 

He laid still, arms above his head, looking at the beams of light and the dust floating around. 

Creaks were heard outside his door, and quiet footsteps led down the hall to the stairs. Each stair creaked, making the newcomer’s arm hairs stand up. 

Seungkwan sat up slowly, the comforter gathering around at his waist. Getting out of bed slowly, Seungkwan stretched once again, rocking lightly on the balls of his feet. 

The old door squeaked as Seungkwan opened it. It was old, the entire house. The doors were painted a dark blue, slightly chipped from age. The floors were wooden planks and not the cheap kind. Real wood, the varnish stripped and bare.

To the left of Seungkwan’s room was another door. It was closed, showing off a, “Do Not Disturb” sign written in black and white. Across from his was an open door. Seungkwan peered in slightly, revealing Vernon sleeping on his back, mouth opened slightly, still sound asleep. He twitched, hands curling into a fist, as if ready to fight.

Seungkwan smiled, before going downstairs, taking in the small dining area. The kitchen sported green tiles, clean and looking brand new compared to the rest of the house. 

Beside the window, was a small round wooden table, with three chairs along with it. 

That’s when Seungkwan noticed you, a beautiful nondisturbed energy. You held a book in your hands, focused and unmoving, even when the sound of Vernon’s chair scraped against the tiles. Words couldn’t leave Seungkwan's mouth, so he didn’t bother. He acted as if you weren’t there, turning to Vernon.

“Good morning, I didn’t even hear you come down the stairs,” Seungkwan commented. Vernon let out a chuckle, fixing his bedhead. 

Seungkwan’s eyes flickered to you, taking notice of your face. You looked perfect, the sun shining on you, like a spotlight. Your eyes moved slightly, reading line after line of your book. You were a sight, more than eye candy to Seungkwan. He wanted to know you. 

Moving his eyes back to Vernon’s, they met eyes, “What do you guys wanna eat?”

Seungkwan’s eyes moved between you and Vernon, curious as to what your response would be.

You shrugged, the first reaction since Seungkwan sat down, snapping your book shut and looking up into Seungkwan’s eyes before quickly moving back down at the table, “Let’s go to that one place.”

“One down the street?” Vernon asked, rubbing his face and biting his lip.

You nodded, muttering a confirmation, before pushing your hair back, “Let’s get ready and we’ll ride our bikes there. Your friend can use my old one.”

You stood up, chair scraping against the ground, showing your sleeping attire. You wore a sheer white tank top, the cloth clinging to your skin, paired with red and black pajama shorts, tied at the drawstring. Turning around to go up the stairs, Seungkwan couldn’t help but notice the way your shorts moved up, revealing a sight he didn’t want to take his eyes off of.

When you had reached your room, out of earshot, in the corner of his eye, he saw Vernon turn towards him. 

In a hushed voice, Vernon’s lip turned up, “Her name is Y/N.” 

He rested his face on his fist, and he continued, “Pretty right? She's hard to get though. Too focused on other things.”

“Like what?”

“Not sure, but whatever it is, it must be a hell of a thing to make her so unavailable.”

By the time Seungkwan was finished getting ready, both Vernon and you were outside digging in the shed for bikes. 

The air was dry, with no wind to cool anyone down. Sweat beads were starting to form on Seungkwan’d forehead, making him fan himself, walking to the shed. 

Seungkwan’s eyes naturally moved towards you, your sweat making your skin dewy. You wiped the sweat off your forehead, a heavy sigh leaving your lips.

You grabbed a bike, wheeling it towards Seungkwan, “All yours.”

Seungkwan grabbed the bike, an anxious feeling dancing at his fingertips. Adjusting the seat of the bike, he hopped on, waiting for you and Vernon.

The place you suggested was a small coffee house. It was secluded and quiet and only the noise of a radio behind the bar was heard. The three of you sat, waiting for someone to take your orders.

Vernon’s head rested on his palm, the other hand tapping away at the metal table. His eyes moved between you and Seungkwan, then around the coffee house, taking in the beauty everywhere. 

“This is a nice place,” Seungkwan spoke up. 

You and Vernon nodded at the same time and the same pace. With a small smirk, Seungkwan thought, They’re the same.

The atmosphere returned to silence, a waitress walking over to you three. 

As the morning went by, a good breakfast and minimal conversation were shared between you three. The return back home was quiet, Vernon and Seungkwan heading inside to get away from the heat, and you going off somewhere.

Seungkwan sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the night breeze from the open window. He heard the sound of crickets, a sense of nostalgia washing over him. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, the sound of a bike rattle coming closer to he sat. He hadn’t seen you all day, he wondered where you had gone, what you did, if you had fun. 

Your leg swung over the bike, kicking the brake down into the dirt. 

The door swung open, Seungkwan’s eyes following you as you ran up the stairs, the sound of a door closing. He heard the distant sound of water running; the bathroom.

Seungkwan stood up slowly, going upstairs himself. The bathroom’s light shone through the cracks, but the newcomer paid it little mind, going into his room. 

He shut his door softly, sitting at the edge of his bed. He laid back, adjusting himself so that his entire body was on the bed. 

Tomorrow, he would be here, in a countryside middle-of-nowhere house. He would be here with you… and Vernon, of course.

“Here.” You stood on your toes, reaching for the top shelve of the cabinet. “We stack things like Jenga in here.”

Prior to you reaching for a bottle of syrup, Seungkwan and Vernon made a short trip to a convenience store. Seungkwan insisted on making pancakes for everyone, generous for the room and place to stay. 

Seungkwan had gotten everything he needed, making homemade pancakes. There was a plan, make pancakes and impress you. Short and sweet, except when you came downstairs, dressed in the same white see-through tank top. 

Seungkwan almost burned the pancake on the stove, too distracted by your attire. You wore nothing underneath, leaving Seungkwan’s eyes to wonder. 

You were captivating to Seungkwan. You were like a siren, calling for Seungkwan, his heart, and his mind, only to be forgotten. 

“Making pancakes?” You spoke to Seungkwan. He slightly jumped and snapped out of his thoughts, nodding. “You’re gonna need syrup. You’re not vegan or anything right?”

Seungwan shook his head, muttering, “No.”

That’s when you reached for a bottle of syrup, Seungkwan’s eyes falling down to your revealed stomach. He knew he shouldn’t look, but he couldn’t help it. You were just so… you.

“Do you need help?” Seungkwan asked. Honestly, he wasn’t asking to be kind, he was asking because if you stayed around for another minute, breakfast would be burnt.

“Yeah.” You strained. Retracting your arm, you moved to the side letting Seungkwan move into your previous position. 

You stood behind Seungkwan, facing his back. You watched as Seungkwan’s muscles flexed as he reached for the syrup. 

Seungkwan reached for the bottle, grabbing it, and placing it on the counter. He turned around, giving you a tight-lipped smile, cheeks burning red.

“Thanks.” You returned the smile. “By the way, what’s your name?”

He couldn’t believe you didn’t know his name. It had only been two days but had you really not been around enough to introduce yourself?

“Seungkwan. Boo Seungkwan.” He introduced himself, smiling wide. It soon fell as he heard your giggle.

“Okay, James Bond.” You teased. 

Seungkwan could feel his ears burning. Were you really teasing him right now? Why?

“Well, Seungkwan, I gotta run. Nice to meet you.” 

“Oh, but I was gonna make something for... us.” Seungkwan’s body turned, watching you leave him alone in the kitchen. 

His eyes followed you up the stairs, only to come back down to Vernon.

“What are you making?” Vernon questioned, lips pouting and eyes scanning the ingredients on the table. 

“You’ll see.” Snapping out his thoughts of you, Seungkwan smiled wide. “That means get out the kitchen so I can perform my magic.”

Vernon scoffed, raising his arms and leaving. 

Midnight had rolled around when you came back. The boys were lounged on the couch, empty cans and bottles on the floor. Ears perked when you opened the front door, both of the young men looking over their shoulders. 

You walked towards the boys, hands resting on the hard sofa back. 

Vernon, who held five playing cards in his hand and a lollipop stick hanging off his lips, was the first to speak, “Where have you been?”

“Out and about, y’know. What are you guys still doing up?” Your hands shifted to Vernon’s hair, pressing your hands together, making a mohawk.

“Playing the very fun game of Go Fish,” Vernon swatted your hands away, fixing his hair. “Could be funner if you joined.”

“Funner isn’t a word, but I’ll make your wildest fantasies come true and play with you I guess.” You smirked.

You walked around the couch, sitting in between the boys. Seungkwan’s cheeks burned, face hot just by you sitting next to him. 

“Deal me in, please. I can’t wait to beat you guys.” You said smugly. The night continued, the three of you playing poker, early hours rolling over your heads. 

Seungkwan didn’t talk to you again until a week later when Vernon dragged you two outside at night, saying, “The lake is meant to swim in. Let’s go!”

Vernon floated on the surface, arms spread out to his side. His figure was hidden like a shadow, slivers of his abs shown by the moonlight’s reflection on the water. 

Seungkwan sat next to you, palming the sand, creating little towers of sand.  

You sat next to him, legs crossed and face buried in a book. You didn’t sport swimwear like the boys and as much as the boys would love to see you in a bikini, they were also glad. The saving of your skin was something Seungkwan especially would be secretly indebted for.

The sound of water splashing made you look up, and Seungkwan who was staring, snapped his head forward. 

“This is boring, I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep, maybe we can do this another time when you guys aren’t scared,” Vernon complained, water dripping down from his hair and shorts. 

Seungkwan turned towards you again. 

“Should we apologize? I feel bad.”

You looked straight ahead, not completing his gaze, “Nah, Vernon gets a little bummed out sometimes. The lack of completion of his social moments is... unencouraging.”

Seungkwan nodded slowly, turning his head towards your attention. 

After a few moments of silence, the sound of the lake hitting the shore and crickets chirping overwhelmed your ears.

Closing your book, you glanced at Seungkwan before standing up. 

No words were exchanged as you stripped your clothes off, catching Seungkwan’s eyes. He followed your every movement. First, the buttons of your shirt, revealing a white lace bra that hugged your rib cage a bit too tight. Next, the zipper of your jean shorts. You were left in your underwear, a stranger sitting behind you.

“Are you coming in?” Turning around, you extended a hand toward Seungkwan. 

He grabbed your hand, standing up, and following you into the water.

You two waded through the water, slowly starting to swim, still, no words being said.

“So, do you like her? Or not?”

“I don’t know! I mean, yes I do, but how can I when we haven’t talked longer than a few minutes?” Seungkwan put covered his face. Groaning, he sat down on Vernon’s desk chair. 

“So? Make conversation with her!” Vernon said. 

The whispers of the boys came to a halt, a door creaking making them hush.

Whispering, Vernon scooted to the edge of his bed, leaning closer to Seungkwan, “I’ll go to the store, you make conversation with her, woo her. You’ve only got a month and a half left to get the girl~”

Nodding, Seungkwan took a deep breath in. Vernon left the room, leaving the door wide open. 

In the hallway, you and Vernon exchanged eye contact. Peaking your head into Vernon’s room, you saw Seungkwan sitting with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths in and out.

Stepping in, you quietly sat on the bed, staring at the boy in front of you. Purposefully, you hovered over the bed before forcefully sitting down, making the bed creak. 

Seungkwan’s eyes snapped open, immediately connecting with yours.

“Oh, shit- I didn't know you were in here!” Seungkwan exclaimed. He covered his mouth with his hand, cheeks bright pink.

You smirked, crossing your arms under your chest. The green tank top you wore partly exposed you, and the movement you had made your chest slightly push together.

Seungkwan’s eyes flickered down, before going back up to your lips. 

“Come outside, I have something to show you.” Getting up, you left the room, not waiting for the brown-haired boy. Following behind, you led Seungkwan to a field. The air blew your guys’ hair every which way. 

Sitting down, you tugged lightly on Seungkwan’s shorts. He sat down next to you, “Vernon... he told me something.” 

Seungkwan’s head turned towards you swiftly, his mouth agape. 

“What did he say?”

You shook your head, lips curling into a smile, “It’s a secret.”

Seungkwan felt his ears get warm. Looking down, and bringing his knees to his chest, he felt the urge to yell at you. Why didn’t you acknowledge him? Or didn’t you? You spoke to him like he spoke to his cousins, you spoke to him like he didn’t understand what you were doing.

Feeling the heat on your shoulders and the sun shining in your eyes, you squinted and looked at Seungkwan. 

“How do you know Vernon?” 

“Uh, school. Yeah, we were always in the same classes and we just got... close.” he fidgeted with the edge of his shorts, pulling grass out of the ground. He took notice of the wind and how it blew each blade of grass away, then towards, then away from him again. His hair was going to be messy later for sure, but the thought left as quickly as it came. “You?”

“He’s a family friend.” You tucked your hair behind your ear, before untucking it, self-consciousness seeping into the brightest parts of your brain.

Seungkwan didn’t respond. The conversation died, you both sitting still, hair moving in and out of your faces by the untamed wind.

“Seungkwan.” You called for the boy next to you. He turned towards you, face emotionless.

You leaned in, looking at Seungkwan’s face for discomfort. 

Closing the gap between you two, you pressed your lips against his. You grabbed the nape of Seungkwan’s neck, pulling him closer to you.

You parted from Seungkwan, “Is this okay?”

Seungkwan didn’t respond, kissing you again but harder. He flipped you both over, sitting between your legs.

Kissing you deeply, you felt Seungkwan slide his hands under your shirt. He wanted more. Seungkwan wanted every part of you and he only hoped it was the same for you. 

Seungkwan guided his kisses down your neck, leaving you speechless. 

The day continued on, loud sounds staying hidden by even louder; leaves, grass, birds, and the moaning of you and Seungkwan. 

You stood at the doorway of Seungkwan’s room. 

“Bye-bye.” You said, smiling wide. Seungkwan smiled back, before kissing you and wrapping an arm around your waist. He pulled you against his body, only letting go when you gave him two light taps on his shoulder.

He pecked your lips once again, “Bye.”

You stepped back, letting him close the door, before turning around and heading to Vernon’s room.

Looking in, you saw his facial expression as he sat at his desk. You moved to his bed, flopping down with your limbs spread out and eyes shut tight.

Vernon, who was fixated on scribbling something, looked behind him, at you. He got up and shook your thigh, “What’s wrong?”

He pushed your arm out of the way to lay next to you, arms crossed behind his head.

“I had sex with Seungkwan this morning,” You spoke quietly. You knew the walls were thin and you knew if Seungkwan heard, he’d be mortified. “It was good but... he’s just here for the summer, no?”

You turned your head to the side, looking at Vernon. Your eyebrows were furrowed in frustration, lips pursed, but Vernon didn’t look back.

“He is. A month and a half, then, back to college,” He said. “Was it worth it? I mean, did... did you mean to do it? Or was it a in-the-moment head-rush thingy?”

“I don’t know! I really don’t know, Vernon,” You cried out. Feeling a shift in emotion, you felt too serious. You raised your hand to your head, mimicking a theatrical fainting woman’s pose. “A shame, maybe I shouldn’t fall in love then?”

Vernon giggled, not moving an inch. You chuckled, before sitting up and straddling him.

“Vernon, what do I do? I think I like him but then, then I get scared. What the hell am I supposed to do?” You didn’t look into Vernon’s eyes, embarrassed that your eyes slightly watered.

Vernon rested his hands on your waist, tapping a rhythm, “You never let yourself have anything. Maybe liking him is a good thing?”

“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t,” You said. You leaned down and pecked Vernon on his lips. “Thanks, Vernon. I’m gonna go out, wanna come?”

Vernon shook his head, caressing your hair. You got off his lap and left his room, quietly shutting his door to not make much noise.

You slowly walked down the stairs, trying to avoid each creaky spot that you’ve grown to know over the years. 

You had to get out and think. 

You grabbed your bike, riding to a place you found when you were nine.

It was not well taken care of, the library. It was always empty, the books dusty but free. You had made the place your own hide-out. When you were a kid you had always imagined the library was a project for other kids who couldn’t afford books, but then became long forgotten. 

You hopped off your bike, tossing it to the side, and running inside. 

You had really made the place your own, with multiple candles inside and an orange couch with cushions slightly flat. 

You lit the numerous candles, the flickering of the flame making you relax a bit. You grabbed a book from one of the shelves; The Little Prince.

Opening the book to your bookmark, you read off a line aloud, “You're beautiful, but you’re empty. No one could die for you.”

Closing the book again, you laid on the couch. 

As the candles flickered, the wax melted and dripped, and your eyes shut. A thought crossed your mind before entering a deep sleep.

You’re so empty.

The summer days were winding down and Seungkwan was more eager to spend time with you. 

It was early morning, and the three of you sat in the living room. Your head was rested on Seungkwan's lap. He played with the end of your hair, twirling and untwisting stands around his fingers. 

Vernon sat on the floor, head leaned back onto your thigh, "Can we do something... please?" 

Lifting your head up, you looked at Vernon, whose lips were tugged down into a frown.

"I'm bored!" He whined further.

"Let's go to the river." You suggested. 

Seungkwan's eyes followed you as you stood up and helped Vernon stand.

"Right now?"

"Right now."

You walked outside, leaving the boys to follow behind you.

You grabbed Seungkwan’s bike, walking alongside it, and giving it to him, "Ride me to the river." You spoke low, a small smile on your face.

He nodded, eyes shimmering with wonder, admiration, and care in the light. He mounted the bike, letting you get on, before letting Vernon take the lead.

"Down to the river, we go." Vernon smiled wide, sunglasses that were hanging on his shirt now on his face.

It didn't take you three long to get to the river, the scenery of trees and sunlight poking through the leaves distracting you all. Once you three had arrived, you felt relief and healing.

Tossing your bikes off to the side, you took in the sounds and view. The sound of the water rushing, the current was manageable but quick. The trees slightly covered the sun, dispersing the sunbeams that came through. 

Standing at the edge of the bank, you took your shoes off, rolled your socks off, and tucked them into your shoes. 

Sneaking up behind you was Vernon, who pushed you, inducing a scream as you fell into the cold water. 

"You ass!" You moved your wet hair out of your face, moving towards Vernon and attempting to grab his ankles so you could pull him in the water.

As you and Vernon splashed each other, Seungkwan laughed, taking his shoes and socks off and rolling up his pants.

"Come on, Seungkwan, the water's warm." You yelled out. Vernon turned around to glance at the still completely dry boy.

"Come on, come on, come on." Vernon eagerly spoke, waving his hand. While Vernon was turned around you stood up and out of the water, pulling the both of you back in.

Seungkwan covered his mouth, laughing before walking to the edge of the river, seeing Vernon come above the water with the widest smile he's seen since Seungkwan arrived.

Seungkwan ran away from the edge before yelling out, "I'm gonna jump in, move!"

Hearing Seungkwan yell, you and Vernon swam off to the side, watching as Seungkwan ran and balled himself up midair. 

The cannonball splashed and created waves, pushing you back slightly.

Splashing each other, the day went by, the three of you getting out of the water, and hanging out on the grass.

The sun started to set and the temperature started to drop. The three of you sat close together, knees pulled close to your guys' chests.

"So, Seungkwan," You leaned your head on Seungkwan's shoulder. "What are you gonna do when you go back to college?"

"Mmm, study? I'm working towards my bachelor's. Musicology." He gave you a kiss on the forehead before leaning his head on yours.

Vernon absentmindedly nodded, before resting his head on the bony edge of your shoulder. 

"This was fun. Next summer, we gotta do this again." 

"Yeah," Seungkwan replied briefly. Lightly nudging you off his shoulder, he stood up. "Let's. Let's go home."

Helping you stand, Seungkwan pulled you close, before placing a soft kiss against your lips. 

Vernon made a gagging sound before walking off, "Let's go, lovebirds."

It was when you three arrived home, that Seungkwan invited you to his room.

You sat on his bed, watching as Seungkwan closed the door softly, doing the same to the loud clicking lock.

Seungkwan moved in front of you, before kneeling down, with hands resting on your knees.

His hands moved slowly towards the hem of your shirt, before lifting it and peeling it off your body. 

Leaning closer, Seungkwan's hands wrapped around your body, unhooking your bra and gently pulling the cloth off, the lace rubbing against your arms. He started low, kissing a path from the space above your shorts to your neck. 

You sat pretty, fingers raking through his brown curls, pulling him closer to your skin. 

Finally, you grabbed his face, pulling him in for a harsh kiss.

"Seungkwan." You gasped.

He didn't respond, moving kisses back down to your jaw; further, sucking dark marks onto your neck.  

Standing up, Seungkwan leaned over you, pushing you onto the bed. His hands squeezed your hips, before moving to the buttons, unzipping your shorts.

"You're beautiful." Seungkwan looked up at you, chin resting on your stomach. His hands squeezed again, eliciting a moan. 

He smirked before pulling your shorts off, feeling the matching lace of your underwear. 

"Seungkwan."

"Yes?"

You pulled him closer, another kiss, "I like you."

A smile tugged at Seungkwan's lips, the muscles in his face contorting to joy. When he first arrived, you were cold. This distant person who rather spend the days out somewhere, coming home late at night. He couldn't believed he was here now, hearing the words he so desperately craved ever since he started feeling them himself.

"I like you too."

It was the morning of Seungkwan’s departure. Both you and Vernon loaded Seungkwan’s things into his car, taking turns lugging things down the stairs.

“Come on, Seungkwan, what the hell is in here?” You used your entire body weight, pulling the suitcase to the edge of the steps. “Would this break if I threw it down the stairs?”

“Do not!” Seungkwan stuck his head in past the front door, yelling at you. You groaned, before yelling for Vernon to take the luggage down. 

When Seungkwan first arrived, Vernon picked him up alone, the two starting a five-hour car ride to a vacation home.

This time, you would tag along. You would sit in the backseat, sticking around for the journey. 

“I’m gonna grab the last suitcase,” Vernon said, walking off. 

You leaned against his car, next to Seungkwan. You grabbed his hand, tightly grasping it.

“How will we keep in contact?” You asked. 

“My dorm has a phone number. I’ll run inside and give it to you when you guys desert me.” Seungkwan joked. You scoffed before watching Vernon peek from behind the door. 

“Last one. Let’s go! Asses in the car!” Vernon yelled out. Listening like diligent children, both you and Seungkwan got inside the car.

Like two months prior, the five-hour clock started winding down.

10 MONTHS LATER

Seungkwan stepped out of the black car. It was another summer with Vernon. The same old house, with creaky steps, in an unfamiliar town, with unfamiliar people.

“Hey, stop bringing so much shit here, we sell things here y’know,” Vernon complained. 

Rolling his eyes, he ignored the younger friend. Assisting Vernon with his own things, they walked inside the house.

“Home sweet vacation home.” Seungkwan joked. Vernon sneered, before flopping on the couch. 

Looking around, Seungkwan noticed the emptiness of the house. It was quiet, dust collecting around the place.

Seungkwan suddenly felt pressure around him. Your arms were wrapped tightly around Seungkwan’s waist. 

Turning around, Seungkwan grabbed your face, mushing your cheeks together. He leaned down, giving you a kiss. 

“I missed you so much, my love.” 

“Nuh-uh. I missed you more.” You smiled wide, eyes sparkling. 

Pecking your lips again, Seungkwan laughed, before waddling to the staircase with you still clinging tightly to his waist. 

“Let’s go upstairs,” Seungkwan suggested.

Unwrapping your arms from around his waist, you grabbed his hand and ran up the stairs. 

Running into his room, you laid down on his bed, limbs spread out and taking up space.

“Comfortable in my bed?” Seungkwan teased.

“Super.” You replied, before pulling him on top of you. 

“Seungkwan?”

“Yes?”

“I think I love you.” You kissed his cheek. 

Mornings were not your thing. You didn’t believe in the bullshit phrase, ‘early bird gets the worm’. You were strictly against mornings and more specifically, things waking you up in the morning.

“Y/N. It’s nine o’clock.” Minghao lightly shook your shoulder.

With eyes still closed, you heard the sound of metal rods moving against a metal pole, curtains being opened, and the sun shining into your room. You let out a loud whine, “Minghao.”

“Yes, Y/N.”

“If you do this again, I’m gonna return to you my father.”

Sitting up in your bed, you wiped the sleep out of your eyes, opening them, only to see sunshine and the feeling of burning death to your corneas.

You groaned, falling back into your bed, covering your eyes with your arm.

Minghao grabbed your hands, pulling you to sit up, his figure blocking the sunlight from your face.

“I apologize, but it’s time to get up. Studies have shown that individuals who get up early in the morning have a more positive outlook on life than those who don’t. I feel you can benefit from this.” Minghao spoke to you softly, moving your messy hair out of your face.

You blushed, before moving his hand away from your face. You stood up, and meet his eyes.

“Why so early though?” You mumbled. You fixed your hair, hoping the android in front of you wouldn’t notice your blush.

Who am I kidding? He’s an android, of course he noticed me blushing.

“I have something planned,” Minghao took a step back, giving you space. “I put together an outfit, along with a towel for you in the bathroom.”

“Okay…” You walked to your bathroom, taking notice of the outfit he picked for you.

It was different from what you normally wore, it was flashier, compared to your sweatpants and sweatshirt combo. Looking through the clothes stack, you picked up the pair of underwear and bra Minghao chose. Matching black lace.

The blush that seemed to finally go away, came right back, turning you into a mess.

You walked back outside the bathroom, taking note of the android who sat on your bed, doing nothing but staring out the window. “Minghao, where are we going?”

He turned to you, standing up and facing you straight-on.

“That’s a surprise. I encourage you to just let the day go on, it is your birthday after all.”

“Oh. I forgot today was my birthday... well, I’ll get ready then. Maybe we can go shopping for some clothes for you.”

By the time you were almost finished getting ready, it had already been an hour.

“Y/N, I think we should get going now.” Minghao stood by the main entrance. His eyes following your every movement. You were searching for something, going from your room, to the bathroom, to the kitchen junk drawer.

“I know, I know, but I can’t find my blush, I swear it had it yesterday.”

You heard Minghao’s footsteps coming to you, his head peaking around the corner, peering into your room. You looked through your makeup bag frantically.

“Y/N.” Minghao stood in front of you, waiting for you to raise your head up. When you did, you saw a smile on his face.

“Why are you smiling?” You huffed. Your stare was cold and unbreaking.

“You don’t need artificial blush. I think your natural hue is perfect.” Minghao smiled even wider. “There it is. Now, let’s go.”

The place Minghao drove you to was a small library. Inside, the shelves were close together, and every row was filled with books. Some books were stacked in piles on the floor. lt was perfect to you.

“This place is so cool.” You said in awe. Minghao nodded but chose to stay quiet, letting you roam around the bookstore.

Minghao followed behind you, “If you get thirsty, there’s a café next door.”

You absentmindedly nodded, focused on the architecture books.

“Hey, Minghao.”

“Yes, Y/N.”

“Did you bring my wallet?”

When you and Minghao got home, you were exhausted.

You spent the day going from store to store. And while you were happy, your feet and back were aching.

Entering the apartment, you held the door open for Minghao, who insisted he should carry all of the bags because after all, most of the things you bought were for him.

Kicking off your shoes, you flopped on the couch, releasing a heavy sigh.

Minghao set down the bags, staying stationary.

“Should I run a bath for you?” Minghao asked. “I can make tea for when you come out. I read an article saying that some teas can help with relaxation.”

“Two things. One, yes, please, my body is ridiculously tired. And two, I don’t have any tea.” You sat straight, scooting to the edge of the cushion. You raised your arms stretching, a groan releasing from your core.

Minghao walked over to you, standing in front of you, and grabbed both your wrist with one hand.

“I read about stretching,” Minghao’s left hand moved below your shoulder blades. He leaned you back slightly, before twisting you, your spine cracking. “And a few chiropractor videos. This move improves spinal health. I hope you feel relieved.”

“I do. Thank you, Minghao.”

Minghao let your wrist go, taking a step back from you, before turning around and walking down the hall, grabbing your towel and sleeping clothes.

Sitting still, you listened to the sound of water running.

My face is gonna be red forever. Damn you, Minghao.

Minghao walked back over to where you were, extending his hand out, “The water is warm. I’m not aware of what temperature you like but according to my data, humans tend to like warmer temperatures. Will you need any assistance?”

"No. I'm alright." You stood up without his aid, giving a polite smile.

"Enjoy your bath then."

After your much needed bath, you shuffled out of the bathroom, towel wrapped tight around your body. You peaked your head into the hallway, looking both ways for an android.

Deciding the coast was clear, you ran into your room.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.”

You screamed, surprised at the calm speaking android, who held a perfectly white frosted cake. His happy expression quickly changed into a concerned one.

You felt the wet cotton towel fall to your ankles. A breeze spread around and enveloped your body. You stood frozen in front of Minghao, whose eyes stayed locked on yours.

“I’m sorry for scaring you. I will try my hardest to not to frighten you from now on.” Minghao set down the cake on your bedside table carefully, kneeling down and picking up your towel.

He wrapped the towel around you tight, “Be careful. I’ll leave you to get ready, then we can cut the cake.”

Minghao grabbed the cake, before walking around you, making sure to shut the door behind him.

You stood still, shocked by the event that just happened seconds prior.

He- He saw… No! Why? Why me?

You covered your face with your hand, making sure to hold your towel right. You grabbed clothes, mind elsewhere.

Getting dressed quickly, you sat on your bed, holding your head in your hands. You let out a laugh, before taking a deep inhale.

“Fuck.” Patting your knees, you stood up, leaving your room and going to the kitchen.

Minghao, whose back was turned to you, sat on a barstool. Hearing your soft footsteps, he turned around.

“Y/N, I waited for you. Shall I sing and cut the cake for you?”

You sat next to him, staring at the cake. With a slight hesitation, you shook your head. “Nah, let’s just cut the cake.”

Minghao turned his entire body towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“You hesitated. Why?”

“No I didn’t,” Your eyebrows furrowed. “I just don’t like celebrating my birthday. Let’s just cut the cake, eat, and go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.”

Minghao cut the cake, each slice perfectly spaced from the other. A machine was working in front of your eyes, and for the first time it just occurred to you. Maybe living with something, different, would be beneficial for you. Both of you.

The rest of the week went by quickly, Minghao woke you up, he helped you get ready, he cleaned your house, you went to sleep and the routine cycled. 

The android was certainly a sight to see. A machine that never got tired. He would never actually die, his data would just be uploaded again. He was something that your brain couldn't wrap around.

Minghao was something special, and you couldn’t put your finger on what it was that made him different from the other androids, but you knew your father had something to do with it. 

Maybe you could thank him, but you wouldn’t. 

It had already been a month since you got Minghao. The android was a major help with everything and he never once complained.

"Y/N? It's time to wake up." Minghao softly shook you awake. You groaned, throwing your hands over your face.

You heard a chuckle before you were pulled into a upright position, “Minghao, no! I just want to sleep, why won’t you let me sleep?”

Minghao patted your head, “I apologize but I did adjust your time for an hour later, like you told me to do last week.”

He walked to your curtains, opening them up and letting the sunlight in.

“The weather today is cloudy, ten degrees out, and there’s a fifty-percent chance of snow. Maybe we should plan an indoor activity today?”

“Yeah, whatever you want Hao.”

“Hao? Is that a nickname? Also, Y/N, I cannot ‘want’ anything, I’m an android. I am only meant to serve you, however I can choose an activity that my data says you’ll like. Would you like me to do this?”

“Yes, Hao.”

“Okay.”

“Can we go out?”

You sat on your couch, knees pulled to your chest. Minghao sat next to you, hands resting on his knees. His posture was like a soldier. He turned to you with a straight face.

His activity was to sit on the couch and relax but as time went on you found yourself just getting bored. You yearned for some fresh air, cold or not you needed to get out.

“The weather isn’t the best—”

“I know but, please? It’ll just be to downtown, come on, it’ll be quick.”

Minghao nodded, a smile forming on his face, “Okay, if this is what you want. Get ready, I’ll go downstairs and get the car heated.”

You watched Minghao stand up and start heading towards the door, “Wait!”

Minghao turned around, a curious look on his face, “Let’s get you changed. You’ve wore these clothes for an entire week already.”

Minghao looked down as his outfit, looking back up at you with a blank expression.

“Come on, let’s put you in something that’ll fit the weather.”

You stood up from the couch, and grabbed Minghao’s hand. You headed over to the coat closet (where Minghao decided his clothes would be least invasive of your space, along with his charging station) and grabbed some of his things.

You grabbed a plain black hoodie, black sweatpants and a long black trenchcoat, “You like?”

You held up the items and Minghao looked at you with an almost annoyed expression, “Y/N, I cannot ‘like’ anything. If you’re asking me if it goes together, then… yes.”

“Where did you learn sarcasm?” You glared. Minghao didn’t respond, only taking the clothes out of your hands. He left to the bathroom, leaving you stunned.

“What an ass.”

Downtown was one of you’re favorite places to go. The decorated streets with outdoor patio lights made you feel warm inside, even if the weather was getting below zero. The stores were in walkable distance from each other, allowing you to spend more time with Minghao.

“So, Hao, do you like the snow?” You looked up at Minghao. Arms linked with each other, walking at a slow pace, the tall android looked back down at you.

“It is… enjoyable. Every snowflake is different from each other, it’s quite an amazing thing to see, really.”

A wide smile spread across your face, “You sounded almost… human. No offense, I guess.”

Minghao’s already small smile faltered, his expression becoming focused. You stopped walking, and pulled Minghao to the side.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Let’s keep walking.” Minghao unlinked his arm, instead grabbing your hand and walking off.

You smiled to yourself, the smell of pizza making you look around.

"Can you smell things? Because there is an incredibly good smelling pizza right now."

Minghao looked down at you, a confused look on his face, "Smell? Well... no. I can't. If you're smelling pizza, we can eat."

You agreed, following Minghao as he turned around toward a pizza place.

Suddenly, Minghao's hand left yours. Within a second, Minghao wasn't next to you, but on the floor.

You covered your mouth, a giggle escaping past your lips.

Minghao glared up at you, rolling his eyes and sighing. He stood up, a limp apparent as he walked to a seat outside the restaurant.

"Hao? You're limping, let's go home." Worry overtook your emotions, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

"Y/N. Calm down, I'm alright. However, it is getting late already." Minghao stood up, leaning some of his weight on you.

“You cold, hard piece of metal shit, I’m gonna- ass on the chair.” You nudged the weak with your butt, a light thud heard from the impact.

Minghao stayed silent, eyes down at the ground. He felt sorry, but the energy loss was something new to him. 

Blue blood had soaked through his shirt because of the fall, something that seemed small in the moment, actually caused a few scrapes to his skin.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were bleeding?” You grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and bunching it around his neck. 

His shoulder blades were different shades of blue, dried and fresh blood mixing together, hints of fibers stuck to his wound. 

“Lift your arms, please,” You spoke softly, grabbing the shirt and taking it off him. “Do I have to use hydrogen peroxide? Can androids get an infection?”

Minghao shook his head, still remaining silent. 

“Okay...” You grabbed a washcloth, wetting it, and wiping the androids back. 

“Good think you can’t get an infection right? Makes for a pain-free cleanup.” 

Stepping back, you stared at the injured android in front of you. Minghao slowly looked up at you, looking into your eyes.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Minghao spoke for the first time since you two got home. 

Heat rose to your cheeks, “What way?”

“Your heartbeat gets slightly higher when you look at me, is there something wrong?”

“No,” You shifted slightly. “Nothing’s wrong.”

It felt like Minghao was staring into your soul. The android got up, slowly walking towards you.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the rhythm pulsating underneath your fingertips.

Minghao brung his hand up to your cheek, face getting closer to yours.

“Get some sleep, I’ll wash my clothes.” Minghao’s gentle touch left your face as he left you standing alone.

Alone, your eyes met your reflection. You turned off the light, going to your room for the night.

You woke up cold, a chill wrapping around your waist and down your legs.

Minghao was behind you. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, legs tangled with yours. 

He’s so close, yet no sign of life. There’s no rise and fall of his chest, no breathing on my neck, just cold and stiff.

You stretched your legs a bit, Minghao’s arms quickly removing themselves from around you. “Good morning, Y/N.”

You didn’t respond, sitting up, still facing away from him. Your hair fell over your face, your hand wiping at your mouth.

“Hao… what were you doing?” You turned around and faced the lounge-wearing android. He stood still, arms folded behind his back.

“I don’t know,” Minghao’s eyes avoided yours. “I felt- I was alone.”

You nodded, laying back down, “That’s okay, Hao.”

Your eyes shut, and you sank into your bed.

“It’s ten o’clock, Y/N,” Minghao spoke softly.

Your eyes opened quickly, sending a glare towards the now standing android. 

“Leave me be.” You whined. Minghao chuckled before kneeling down at your level. 

He moved your hair out of your face. You stared into Minghao’s eyes, he gave you a small smile. You felt like you were getting lost in his eyes, the complexity of the mechanics were lost to you, but you still enjoyed it. 

“You look beautiful.” Minghao complimented you, the blush, the seemed a never-ending nightmare, returning to your face and ears. 

Your eyes flickered. Lips, eyes, repeat. Minghao leaned forward, eyes closing. 

Am I really going to do this?

The android must’ve had everything planned. His lips were soft, a detail that only an obsessed designer should’ve thought of.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, body on top of yours. You were committed, the spark of joy spreading around your body. 

Pulling back, Minghao studying your face, before pecking your lips again. 

“It’s ten o’clock.”

Months gone by, just you and Minghao.

The birthday gift you had gotten for your twenty-first birthday brung you more than help, but a crush.

While Minghao tried his best to ignore the feeling of humanity taking over his hardware, you tried your best to make him succumb. 

“Y/N, I’m not programmed to feel anything. How do we not know that I’m not experiencing a virus.”

“Minghao, if you’re so concerned that your feeling for me are a virus, why don’t I send you to your creator, so he can have a check?” Your pouted at the idea that Minghao’s feelings might in fact be a virus, but quickly hid it. “Ungrateful shit.” 

Minghao gave you a fake smile, before rolling his eyes, “Y’know, sometimes I think that you think that you’re hot shit.”

“Oh? Taking my language, you AI now?”

“I've been AI, in fact I’m better than AI.” Minghao spoke quickly, sass laced words, the impersonation of a human getting better each time you two argued.

“Then tell me you love me.” You dared. Minghao pursed his lips, fighting a smile.

“I love you...” He spoke, getting closer to your face. “Unless, this is a virus.”