#ju rambles

jules: fine i won't romanticize her 

devineaux: good. 

mammon will put on a front as you cuddle into his side and lay your head on his chest, but you can hear his heart beating a million miles a minute. the shake in his arm as he puts it around your waist doesn’t go unnoticed as well.

you don’t realize how truly clingy mammon is unless you wake up in the middle of the night, when he’s fast asleep. his arms will encircle your waist, his legs entangled with yours, and his face will be pressed into your chest. every single place that he can possibly touch of your body has his skin pressed against it. good luck moving, because he’ll only hold you closer.

mammon clings because he’s worried that the best thing in his life will disappear. despite his efforts to convince everyone and himself that he’s the greatest, in his heart he knows that’s not true. in his heart he knows he’s a scumbag, the worst, bottom of the barrel, and a complete and utter moron, just like his brothers say.

and yet, you’re here, in his arms.

and he’s greedy.

he doesn’t give a damn if he doesn’t deserve you, because he’s going to have you. he’ll love you with everything he’s got in the hopes that you’ll do the same.

but being emotionally vulnerable is hard. how can he even dream of admitting any of this to you, when he believes he has you completely fooled with the narcissistic façade he has on all the time? he doesn’t realize you’ve noticed him falter, the mask drop, even if just for a second. how could he tell you that everything he says and does is a lie?

he can’t. at least, not yet.

trying to start yes again a bujo ... i have a real problem with keeping up with new habits ! but i need to do this, i just need to stay motivated, even if it’s just writing a little sentence a day ^_^

here it goes my first bujo page

with some purple + pink vibes also + jungkook because it looked nice

((click for better resolution))