#jtwifi

Jade was... quiet. Hesitant. Conversation had been almost entirely normal but... even then she could pick up that something was on his mind. He kept changing the subject, like if they talked about a hundred different things then maybe they would never get to what he was avoiding, but even though she never pressed or pestered...

He ran out of time.

He reached out and caught Alya’s hand, the slender fingers in the middle of a gesture and disappearing into his darkly gloved hands. Whatever she was saying fell short, and admittedly he felt guilty. He hadn’t been able to focus at all... he wasn’t trying to ignore her but...

“Jade?”

Her voice startled him, only a little. He had lapsed into silence again, trying to figure out the right words. Or the right time, or the right way or the right... anything but...

Even though it was him that had initiated the contact it was her that took control of it, bringing his hand to rest in her lap. He followed the motion with his eyes but didn’t look up at her, even when she said his name again.

Well... his ‘name.’

One of them anyways.

“Jade, seriously,” she questioned, her voice a little stronger now, whether in irritation or concern he wasn’t entirely sure. The soft pressure of her hands made him believe it was the latter... still though he had trouble just... getting it started. “Whats going on? You’ve been dancing around this for hours. What did you want to talk about?”

Alya was trying to be patient, but for the most part patience had never really been her strong suit. When she had seen his face though she could tell it was important, the masked hero always a little unsure, but never like this.

It was cold on the roof... the only warm coming from each other, the only sound the distant muted sound of the streets.

She was trying to wait, but she could see he was struggling with something. She couldnt help if he didnt-

“Al...” he said suddenly, cutting into the silence. Something about the way he said it... and the way he gently gripped her hand like it was a life line... she froze when he looked up at her.

“I care about you. A lot, clearly,” he started slowly, his eyes flickering away as another way of uncertainty passed over him. The textured material of his glove was like static across her fingers. He took a shaking breath, and to his credit, he smiled. Just a little.

“Doesn’t really need saying. Well, it does. I say it all the time. I know its kind of annoying but... I don’t know. It’s lame I guess... but...” he hesitated again.

“What’s this about?” she asked again, quietly as if afraid to shatter what little he was building here. Something about this was incredibly hard for him, and she was... anxious.

“Just uh... let me talk. I’m gonna talk a lot but... just let me say it,” he responded. There was a long pause, as if waiting to see if she would agree, but her silence was agreement enough. He took another deep breath, looking away from her and out over Paris, his free hand gesturing weakly. 

“So i know i’m being... cryptic. And stupid and... dramatic, I guess. But I... i’ve just been playing this over a thousand times and trying to figure out what to do. And i kept... freaking myself out over it. Because I stood to lose just... way too much. Way too much if you said no or yelled or hated me or, whatever... God just, the more we talked the more i couldn’t say it and thats stupid!” he suddenly yelled, the sound exasperated and making her jump. He still didn’t look at her.

“I wanted to! Right from the very beginning, i wanted to say it. But i was so nervous... and worried and... intimidated. Because you were- you, you were looking at me. You saw me and it wasn’t me, you looked me right in the face and you saw me but you didnt. And we laughed and w-we kissed and... I was lying to you. All of this and I was... lying.”

Alya couldn’t help the small gasp, his words hitting her as they all rushed together and he struggled to get them out. His fingers were tight around hers now, like he was afraid she was going to let go when he made it to the end of wherever he was going... and she knew where he was going... but that wasn’t what hit her.

It was how afraid he was...

Jade Turtle sat besides her, his legs crossed and back curved forward as he stared anxiously at the gravel coating the roof top. One hand was lost in a fist to his side, and the other was in her lap, holding on and hoping she didn’t let go.

This was what he had been so scared of.

Her not loving him when he said his name...

so even as he talked, and rambled and his hands started to shake....

she said it for him. 

“Nino...