#jowi.

we've been chasing this, all of our years. want it so bad, you're willing to face all your fears - @idjowi, shared dorm room

it’s dusk, and the pollution hangs like a haze in the sky. still on the tail end of spring, but it’ll rain tomorrow, and the sky will clear. the app on her phone will smile back at her, hearts in it’s eyes. she likes that, but she doesn’t so much like the rain. she is happy that her schedule’s finished with though. a bland sort of photoshoot where all the members would later get photoshopped in together because they couldn’t all make it on the same day and the company wasn’t paying them enough to force it into their schedule. but it doesn’t matter so much anymore, she’s just happy she’s getting paid. 

is happy to hop free from her van while her manager veers off to go pick up one of the other members. keys her way into cherry bomb!’s dorm and kicks off heavy sounding doc mary jane’s. they echo around the entrance, and it has her wondering if anyone else has made it home yet. there’s nobody in the kitchen, and the door to the other girls’ room is swung wide open, contents devoid of life. it’s a rarity. usually they’re all bunched up together, thrown into schedules, or else spilled back home altogether in a jumbled mess. miji doesn’t mind it. sometimes things don’t feel quite right. she knows they’re supposed to fit together like puzzle pieces. supposed to complete each other. but that’s not always how reality works out. she likes hyera, she really does. but it’s still hard for miji to read her -- and maybe it’s because of the gap in their age.

she gets to her own shared room and shoulders open the door. discovers she’s not quite alone after all. but she can’t bring herself to mind too much. jowi’s always been the one she’s felt at home with. tied together from the beginning, when they were both trainees. before they got tossed into the same group. when the two of them had still felt hopeful. that seems to have washed away in recent circumstances.

nice try, you cannot turn away but nice try. turned your legs to little building blocks -- @idjowi​, schedule prompt ( weekly idol filming ).

her hair’s a little sticky near her nape. makeup blotchy, and there are a few stylists scurrying around them with brushes and sponges getting ready to pat everything back into place, until they’re all glossy and pretty again. but that’s just the sort of thing that happens when you attempt to whirl through a collection of your song’s dances at random. it’s a bit impossible to stay dewy and perfect throughout all that, despite what everyone wants you to think. so they roll their way into a break, and miji finds jowi when they finally deem her face acceptable and tug and tuck out her hair until it falls appropriately down her back once again.

she hooks an arm around her shoulders, ruffles jowi’s hair in the process enough to make a stylist toss a frown her way, but miji ignores it. jowi’s hair is currently straight, it’s not the most difficult thing in the world to finger comb it back into place before set. “how are you hanging, babe?” she tosses it out as she pulls jowi along with her, toward a smaller corner of the studio. away from prying eyes, from wayward ears, from the other members of their group. but miji thinks jowi needs that right now. that isolation. away from eyes that feel like they’re sticking to her.

being sequestered doesn’t make things better, but being out of the spotlight helps. helps miji sometimes, too. despite how much she wants this. despite how much she loves being on stage. but everyone hits a point where they don’t want to be stared at. everyone hits a point where they don’t want to be talked about. everyone hits a point where you don’t want to sit and wonder if what they’s whispering behind their hands is about you, and what those words they’re hiding out of sight are.