#journalofparker

Send 💗 to cuddle with my Muse! | Accepting | @disturbxnces

Why was it always Sailor Moon? What was her deal with Sailor fucking Moon? As Toni sprawled out across the couch, idly eating from a bowl of nuts, Peter watched her quietly. 

She was a way better actress than people gave her credit for. After everything with Captain America, she had been a bit… lazier? No, that’s not quite right. Comatose. She spent most of her time looking after Rhodey but, otherwise… Lying around, watching cartoons. He felt bad. He really did.

He wandered over, a bowl of Lucky Charms in hand and - with a scowl and raised eyebrow, admittedly - she sat up to make room for him. He sat and, for a few minutes, just sat in silence with her - watching the TV.

Then he let his hand move gently, to creep up to the back of her neck where he rubbed it gently. He wanted to hug her and make her feel better but he didn’t think he could. 

@sxrdida

[text; Ares -> Wolfhound] Well rawr to you too, fang. Look at all that woman you’re hiding under that fur coat ;)

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[text; Clint -> ???] While the thought is appreciated I’m pretty sure you got the wrong number. 

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[text; Liliya -> Dama] Jesus Dama, do you have heating in your place? You could cut diamond with nipples like that.

[text; Liliya -> Dama] I’m trying not to laugh at the fact you sent these by accident, by the way. I’m never letting you forget this.

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[text; Lily -> ???] You are really really beautiful but I think you got a wrong number :(

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[text; Spiderman -> ???] You know of all the things I’ve gotten as Spiderman nudes were not one of them

[text; Spiderman -> ???] Better than a supervillain I guess

[text; Spiderman -> ???] Wrong number anyway, I guess

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[text; Ecstasy -> ???] You are exceptionally beautiful but I don’t think you intended these for me.

[text; Ecstasy -> ???] I’m sure whomever you did intend it for is very happy, however.

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[text; Raynor -> ???] Well this was a nice surprise.

Oh he’s keeping those.

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[text; Seventeen -> ???] I am more alarmed about how you got this number because I didn’t even know I had this phone

[text; Seventeen -> ???] I mean yes you look lovely you should put something on you’ll catch a cold but did you just input random numbers that shouldn’t work

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[text; Thor -> Dama] Is this perhaps in relation to the no interesting human remark?

[text; Thor -> Dama; attachtment]

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[text; Dean -> Dama] I’ve been gone like an hour Dama 

[text; Dean -> Dama] Wait that one is new 

@disturbxnces

“Hey, no, that isn’t fair.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Pete mentally resigned himself to fighting this fight. Someone was talking about Toni and bringing her down. He couldn’t have that.

“Yes, Toni is something of a- of a pain but c’mon, have you seen her stuff? I read through one of her essays and she is amazingly smart. Like, I’m pretty sure that the lecturer was confused it was that high level.” He shrugged then, flopping onto the couch. “Plus, you just got to get to know her. I mean, do you blame her for being a little bit of a brat? She’s a Stark. I can’t imagine the people who try to use it.”

“You just like her,” he heard a female voice - Claire? - retort. I mean, really, it was the pinnacle of wit at this party. Pete sighed and rolled his eyes.

@disturbxnces

Toni’s Tempting Fate;

☺- ask them out on a date or kick them in the shins

★- kiss them on the lips or pants them

@disturbxnces

○- kiss their neck or bite them WHY NOT BOTH

With great power, comes great responsibility. He learned that a long time ago, an incredibly poignant lesson that he’d never forgotten. 

So Peter couldn’t help but wonder what the hell Uncle Ben would say about what he was currently doing - as he crawled along the ceiling towards Toni’s workshop. 

He was always responsible. Well, most of the time, so... He could afford to be silly about it, right? Of course. Made total sense. 

That’s why, as he crept along the top of the workshop, he smiled to himself. Toni was so engrossed in what she was doing, she wouldn’t realize what was going on until the last second.

Carefully, he attatched a web to the ceiling and proceeded to lower himself down until he was just behind her, though he was upside down. Then he paused for a moment, deciding what exactly he wanted to do here. Really, the answer was quite simple.

@disturbxnces

★- kiss them on the lips or pants them

Living in the tower had a lot of perks. Yeah right, you say - obviously, it’s one of the most techologically advanced places in the world. Well, sassy voice in Parker’s head, that’s not exactly all he’s getting at. All the tech and the comfort and everything? That’s great. JARVIS is an absolute star, Peter didn’t know how he lived without him. 

Plus, it’s great for getting to the subway. No, it was the company. It’s hard to explain, but it’s comforting to be surrounded by other heroes. 

That said, Toni could be a pain. Especially when she lectured. Like now. 

Frankly, Peter had zoned out about five minutes ago - he just wanted to move on. He just sort of watched her lips soundlessly move for a moment before he quickly leaned in, pressing his own to Toni’s. It cut the lecture off mid-sentence and, despite the tone of alarm, she didn’t break it off. Peter did though, after a couple seconds.

@disturbxnces

☺- ask them out on a date or kick them in the shins

Peter Parker liked to think that, among his many plentiful occasional virtues, he was a patient person. There’d been plenty of times he’d proven this, he felt - the time... Uh... Okay, maybe not that time. Still, he was patient. He hadn’t hit JJJ. Or Toni. 

That said, this post serves as the confession of one Peter Parker - as his patience with Toni was rapidly running out.

He couldn’t even remember why he was mad at this point, he just was. And it was Toni’s fault, and she looked so damn smug and- 

Okay, maybe lashing out and kicking her shins was childish. Probably unnecessary but... Well, he did it... Before storming off.