genuinely fucked up that i was once 19 and i knew i would live to always look back at that year as the first really exciting year of my life. and i was once 18 and i thought to myself that even though my first semester of college kinda sucked i would always look back on it wistfully. it fucks me up so bad that i knew that would happen. and when i was like 16 and i was riding the bus home from school and watching the leaves and thinking about how even though nothing exciting was going on i would probably end up wanting to return to that era. and when i was 8 i thought about how its so crazy that ive only had 8 christmases. and thats not that many. so i was still pretty young. and i knew that. and when i was 4 and i was in my moms room and i broke a candle wick on accident and i thought about how i had only been alive for four years at that point. idk. thoughts in my head
