#jouraling

Answers to a long list of questions for self reflection.

Am I using my time wisely?

In general, no; at this moment, yes.

Am I taking anything for granted?

Yes

Am I employing a healthy perspective?

No

Am I living true to myself?

I don't think so, but I'm not sure exactly what this means.

Am I waking up in the morning ready to take on the day?

No

Am I thinking negative thoughts before I fall asleep?

Yes

Am I putting enough effort into my relationships?

No

Am I taking care of myself physically?

No

Am I letting matters that are out of control stress me out?

Yes

Am I achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself?

No

Who am I really?

I don't know

What worries me most about the future?

Finding lasting joy too late

Realizing that suicide at an early age would have been the better choice

Discovering I failed at my purpose for living

If this were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?

Yes and No

What am I really scared of?

My health will continue to decline rapidly

Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?

Yes

If not now, then when?

I don't know

What matters most in my life?

I don't know

What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?

I don't know

What do I matter?

I don't know

Have I done anything lately worth remembering?

I don't know

Have I made someone smile today?

No

What have I given up on?

Photography

Drawing

Graphic Design

Blogging

Writing well crafted reviews for movies and audio books

Recording my critiques of user interfaces

Owning and training a puppy for obedience and agility trails

Improving my web publishing skills

Push hands

Rock climbing

Rugby

Finding a long term healthy intimate relationship

When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?

Can't remember

If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would I give?

Listen to your intuition

What small act of kindness was I once shown that I will never forget?

Can't remember

How shall I live, knowing I will die?

What do I need to change about myself?

Too much

Is it more important to love or be loved?

To love. Because there will be at least one person to be loved by.

How many of my friends would I trust with my life?

Not sure

Who has had the greatest impact on my life?

I don't know

Would I break the law to save a loved one?

Absolutely

Would I steal to feed a starving child?

Absolutely

What do I want most in life?

To fall in love with someone who loved me first

What is life calling of me?

Not sure. Most recent thought was about quitting my job and relocating somewhere to do something important.

Which is worse: failing or never trying?

I guess the right answer is never trying

If I try to fail, and succeed, what have I done?

Become an example of fate and destiny shaping events, regardless of my own actions

What’s the one thing I’d like others to remember about me at the end of my life?

I don't know

Does it really matter what others think about me?

Yes

To what degree have I actually controlled the course my life has taken?

Many impulsive decisions have had great ripple effects. There are numerous touch points of inaction or poor action caused missed opportunities

When it’s all said and done, what will I have said more than I’ve done?

I want to be happy

My favorite way to spend the day is…

I don't know. Watching movies.

If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is…

Your intuition that something is wrong, is absolutely correct. You are being emotionally and physically abused. Seek help.

The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are… Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.

Can't think what they are

Make a list of 30 things that make you smile.

watching baby animals -- especially puppies and wild rabbits

Write about a moment experienced through your body. Making love, making breakfast, going to a party, having a fight, an experience you’ve had or you imagine for your character. Leave out thought and emotion, and let all information be conveyed through the body and senses.

Crossing the wood beam during the ropes course: totally in touch with heart beat, the feel of fear throughout my body, and the experiencing the process of tuning out all the verbal encouragements and instead mastered what I needed to do in order to balance and walk with confidence.

...

The words I’d like to live by are…

I don't know

I couldn’t imagine living without…

job, healthcare, apartment, truck

When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…

Stop thinking and wait for the -- worst of the -- funk to pass.

Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and who you can genuinely trust. (Then make time to hang out with them.)

[skip]

What does unconditional love look like for you?

Something so powerful, that being able to feel it, stops fear, insecurity, and negative thoughts and feelings when they creep out.

What would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? How can you act on these things whether you do or don’t?

Question is way too fluffy and optimistic ... just get irritated and angry thinking of a true answer.

I really wish others knew this about me…

Pretending to be ok is exhausting.

Name what is enough for you.

I don't know.

If my body could talk, it would say…

A shit load of negative realities truths

Name a compassionate way you’ve supported a friend recently. Then write down how you can do the same for yourself.

I don't know

What do you love about life?

I don't know

What always brings tears to your eyes?

Emotionally touching parts of movies and audio books

Write about a time when work felt real to you, necessary and satisfying. Paid or unpaid, professional or domestic, physical or mental.

I don't know. Maybe, Rescue: Trimming hooves for the dairy goat herd. Using the clippers to create milkers cleanliness.

Write about your first love — whether a person, place or thing.

Teddy Bear. Joel. Oak trees. My baby goats, especially Bo Peep when she helped me win first place in novice showmanship. Bottle feeding Apple Sauce, runt pig. Dusty. Rascal. Sam, the St. Bernard / Shepard mix puppy. David. Farrier's rounding hammer. The Carhart jacket I stole from Larry. Learning to code my first web page. Chase. South face of Devil's Lake. Philip. Jeff.

Using 10 words, describe yourself.

intense

bipolar

tenacious

What’s surprised you the most about your life or life in general?

I don't know

What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?

I feel most energized when…

doing meaningful work side by side with others

Write a list of questions to which you urgently need answers. (Abercrombie)

Is it ok to die now?

Have I accomplished my purpose?

Make a list of everything that inspires you — from books to websites to quotes to people to paintings to stores to the stars.

long ago, watching Swim Coach do the form

What’s one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life? (Then learn about it.)

I don't know

I feel happiest in my skin when…

When having physically exhausted myself doing something meaningful, such that my mind is quiet and peaceful.

Make a list of everything you’d like to say no to.

I don't know

Make a list of everything you’d like to say yes to.

I don't know

Write the words you need to hear.

It was not your fault.