#josiewritesstuff

summary — spencer got tired of morgan’s teasing over his crush on hotch’s assistant and decided to finally ask her out . . . but it doesn’t go too well.

genre — soft/fluff

cw — spencer reid x hotch’s assistant reader, spencer being his awkward self, reader is burnt by coffee, reader is referred to as female.

word count — 1k

104 days.

That’s how long you had worked at the BAU—Spencer counted.

That was exactly 104 days of his embarrassing crush on Hotch’s assistant. Everyone around him teased him endlessly about all the fumbled conversations or longing stares. Of course, the main culprit to his teasing was none other than Derek Morgan.

With your contagious laughter and shiny pink lipgloss you re-applied every few hours, Spencer simply couldn’t look away. He’d heard through the grapevine you were recently single, free from the shackles of your “man child boyfriend” as JJ called him. Ever since he heard the great news a few days ago, Morgan’s relentless teasing only got worse. Finally, Spencer couldn’t take it anymore.

“You gotta stop staring at her, kid,” Morgan laughed, leaning back in his chair in the bullpen, “Just go ask her out.”

Spencer watched from afar as you poured a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

“It’s getting a little creepy how much you think about her—”

“I’m doing it.”

Morgan did a double take, “What?”

“I’ll ask her out,” Spencer decided, standing up abruptly from his seat. A beat went by before he turned back to face Morgan who had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “W-What do I say?”

“My man,” He praised, “Let me school you real quick.”

You could feel the weight of somebody’s eyes on you from across the room.

Scratch that. Two pairs of eyes.

You stirred Hotch’s coffee ( which he tried to decline many times ) aimlessly, stuck in your own thoughts.

To the best of your ability, you tried to get to know the team. Gideon was rather reserved, Hotch was kind and never wanted to bother you, Elle seemed to be in her own world after her shooting and JJ and Derek were the ones you clicked with the best.

That left one—Spencer Reid.

He was a mystery. A really handsome mystery. You’d spoken a handful of times, mainly at the printer down the hall. He stuttered his words out as he rambled about something or other, but you loved it. His intelligence was a part of what made him so attractive besides his looks. Which are so . . .

You gulped.

He started wearing glasses a few weeks ago and you swore your heart skipped a beat when he first walked into the bullpen with them on.

“You’ve been stirring for 4 minutes and 32 seconds.”

Shit.

You jumped back from the shock of him being next to you all of a sudden, the hot coffee spilling all over your hand.

“Ow, shoot!” You exclaimed, cradling your hand to your chest.

All the smooth talking Morgan had taught him left his brain instantly.

“I-I am so sorry! Here,” He stumbled out, gently leading your hand over to the sink. He ran it under the tap as he apologised profusely. “Really, I am so sorry, I-I didn’t mean to—”

You let out a small laugh. “It’s okay, Spencer. It was my fault I wasn’t paying attention. It feels better now already.”

You tried to move your hand away from the running tap, but Spencer pulled your hand back underneath the water.

“S-Sorry, it’s just you have to leave a burn under cold water for at least twenty minutes to prevent scarring and swelling.”

“Twenty minutes?” You said, “I-I have paperwork to do, Spencer. And plus, what would I do for all that time? Stare at the wall?”

He smiled shyly. “I can pull up a chair, look!"

You strain your head to watch him grab one of the swivel chairs from behind you. "Spencer, really, it's fine. It feels better, I promise."

"Okay," He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets awkwardly. "Can I at least make you another coffee?"

"No, don't worry about it. It’s for Hotch and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like coffee anyway, but he just never corrected me and now it's too awkward to say anything."

Spencer wanted to say the truth. That Hotch quit drinking coffee 218 days, 9 hours and 48 minutes ago. However, Morgan's voice interrupted the urge to blurt out the fact.

Women don't like specific statistics. Keep it brief.

"Uh, yeah he quit drinking it a while ago I think . . ." Spencer dumbed himself down. He took note of the confused face you pulled and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose anxiously. "What?"

You shrugged, "Nothing, I was just expecting an exact date and time he declared it to you all. I like it when you talk about statistics."

"Y-You do?"

"Yeah, of course," You told him, rinsing out the discarded coffee cup in the sink. "It's what makes you . . . you."

Spencer swore he felt all the warmth from the tips of his toes rush up his whole body in one big wave until it surfaced on his, very flushed, cheeks. For once in his life, he couldn't think of a single word to say.

"Anyway," You sighed, "I've got to get some files to JJ."

"Uh, yeah—yeah, okay," Spencer replied, stumbling over his words. "See you later."

Your hand brushes his shoulder as you pass him. "Bye, Spencer."

He turned to watch as you walk away, completely mesmerized. Everything about you was perfect. From the way you walked with confidence, to the smile constantly gracing your face—there wasn't a single thing he could criticize.

A firm arm wrapped around his shoulder. Morgan.

"That was . . . interesting."

Spencer turned to face him and shrugged his arm off. "Shut up."

Morgan smirked, ironically sipping on his own cup of coffee. "Next time, give her a little warning."

Spencer simply glared at him before storming off back to his desk. Faintly, he heard the familiar laugh Morgan did when Spencer embarrassed himself ( which is a lot more often than he'd like to admit ) with women.

Defeated, he sat back in his seat and sighed.

He knew he should feel insanely embarrassed right now, but the memory of your smile haunted him like a ghost.

summary — the days following spencer's accidental love confession could not be more awkward, especially when your insecurities come to light in an argument.

genre — angst + hurt/comfort

cw — spencer is oblivious, reader and spencer argue, reader is insecure about her own worth, mentions of sex, angsty, reader mentions her past relationship, fluff

wc — 1.8k

The next day was odd.

After Spencer had mumbled in his half-asleep daze that he loved you not even a year into your relationship, you thought the next morning would be incredibly awkward.

It was the opposite. It was . . . normal?

You woke up before Spencer thanks to the anxiety and brewed a pot of coffee, readying yourself to have the conversation. At exactly 9:12 you heard the shower begin to run, then exactly eight minutes later, Spencer walked into the kitchen.

He kissed your forehead and reached for the coffee pot. “Morning, my love.”

You froze. How was he acting so normal?

“M-Morning.”

“How’d you sleep? I heard you tossing and turning a bit in the night,” Spencer asked, sitting opposite you on a bar stool.

“Fine,” You gulped, “I just struggled to fall back asleep after already getting eleven hours.”

He laughed. “I see. Well, what do you want to do today?”

“I-I’m sorry?” You asked, flabbergasted at his nonchalant manner.

“I was thinking the farmer’s market? You mentioned you wanted to make some soup and I thought we could have a date day. Y’know, to make up for being gone all week,” He suggested, leaving his mug in the sink for later. Lovingly, he hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek.

You didn’t know what to say. Did Spencer actually forget something? Or was he just that good at lying?

“Okay, yeah. That sounds nice.”

He smiled. “Great, I’ll clean up in here whilst you get ready.”

“Okay,” You said, watching as he began cleaning the kitchen up.

If he wanted to avoid the conversation then fine, but you could avoid it too. It was the only thing that annoyed you about Spencer—his ability to be calm and collected in situations where he shouldn’t be. He was out there cleaning and being the perfect boyfriend, meanwhile you were freaking out as you picked out an outfit over how the rest of the day was going to go.

Spencer soon joined you in the bedroom, quietly moving around you as he got ready also.

After a while, you were both ready, wrapped up in scarfs and hats during to the change in weather recently. Hand in hand, you walked to the farmer’s market down the street. There was a comforting silence between you both, but at the same time, you couldn’t tell if that was good or not.

“What soup do you fancy?” You asked Spencer, stopping at the fruit and veg stand.

He didn’t reply.

You turned to face him, only to see him staring off into the distance.

You nudged him, “Spence?”

He snapped out of whatever weird trance he was in and faced you. “Hmm?”

“I asked what soup you wanted. You okay?”

He smiled. “Yeah, sorry. Just thought I saw someone. Is tomato okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” You replied, picking up a few tomatoes to take to the scale.

Suddenly, Spencer stopped in his place abruptly as two women approached you with beaming smiles.

“Spencer!” One of the women with pink tinsel in her hair exclaimed.

The other blonde woman hugged him and stopped back. “Hey, Spence.”

Spence? You thought you were the only one that called him that . . .

“H-Hey guys,” He said, discreetly dropping your hand and stuffing his own hands into his coat pockets.

You felt stupid all of a sudden. Now, your hands just lay awkwardly at your side. The women must’ve finally realised Spencer didn’t introduce you to them and simultaneously turned to face him.

“Oh, sorry!” He laughed, gesturing towards you. “This is, uh, my friend.”

Nope. Now you felt stupid. Friend? Like you hadn’t been living in his apartment for the past few weeks, cuddling in bed and showering together to ‘save water’.

“Hi,” You meekly said, desperate to get out of here.

“You are adorable! I can’t believe Spencer never mentioned he made a new friend. I’m Penelope, this is JJ.”

Another punch to the gut. He’d never mentioned you.

“It’s nice to meet you,” You said, “How do you know Spencer?”

JJ furrowed her eyebrows. “We work together.”

“Oh, that’s nice. We don’t really talk about work, or anything apparently, so forgive me,” You said, mumbling the part you really meant.

Spencer knew he fucked up massively.

Even Penelope, who was literally a ray of sunshine, looked awkward as hell right now.

“Well, we’ll leave you guys to it. Me and JJ only come for the free samples from the flavoured tea stand,” Penelope giggled happily.

JJ smiled at her before turning to you, “It was great meeting you. See you on Monday, Spencer.”

With one final goodbye, the pair left you and Spencer to stand in an awkward silence. Without a word, you placed the bag of tomatoes on the scale and paid Stan before walking off.

Spencer hated when you argued, but this was worse. He quickly followed behind you, almost jogging to keep up with your pace.

“You’re mad,” He stated. He didn’t ask. Just stated.

You kept walking, furiously wiping away the tears that fell down your cheeks. The second Spencer saw your tears, he tried to cut in front of you.

“Baby, please—”

“No!” You yelled, “Do you know how fucking embarrassing that was, Spencer?”

You were both stood in the middle of the pavement, luckily no-one was around to witness this mess.

“I-I’m sorry! I panicked when I saw them and didn’t want to have to explain—”

“Explain what?” You interrupted, “That you were out on a Saturday morning with your girlfriend? Is that even what I am? Or am I just someone you’re having sex with that happens to live with you?”

With every syllable, your voice got louder and louder until a few passers by turned to look.

Spencer placed his hands on your arms. “Jesus, no! T-They’re just nosy and if I had said the truth it would’ve been the next big office gossip.”

“So what? Let them gossip, Spencer! If you’re happy with me, why should it matter?” You explained, pausing to see his reaction. When he didn’t respond your insecurities got the better of you. “You are happy with me . . . right?”

Without even a second, Spencer replied.

“Of course, I am. I’ve literally never been happier than when I’m with you.”

You smiled sadly. “Then why can’t I meet the other people in your life that make you happy?”

Spencer sighed. He knew the reason, but he just couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“I’m going to go for a walk, here,” You declared, shoving the bag of tomatoes against his chest. “I’ll be back some time later.”

As you stormed off in the opposite direction to his apartment, Spencer called your name, but you just kept walking.

He knew he fucked up bad.

He just didn’t know how to fix it.

You still hadn't came home hours later.

Spencer was beginning to get worried since you weren't answering your phone. In an attempt to make this disastrous day up to you, he found out your recipe book and started putting together some soup. Whilst he flipped through the recipe book you had carefully crafted a few months ago, he noticed something.

Next to the recipes you both ate often, there were little stars next to them. He turned to the back of the book where another star was drawn with scribbled writing next to it.

Spencer's favourites.

His face dropped.

Well, this didn't make him feel any better. You were so sweet and thoughtful and he had royally fucked up. The thing that nagged at him the most was that you were right. It was weird you hadn't met his friends. He had come close to telling Morgan so many times when he'd tease him about his eagerness to get home.

Just as he stirred the soup, he heard the door unlock.

He turned the heat onto low and faced the door. You came around the corner and stopped a few feet away.

"I'm going to talk and I want you to just listen."

Spencer nodded. "Okay."

"I refuse to be in another relationship where I am invisible. I tried to not care, I really did. Like the time you went out with your friends for your birthday and you told me not to come because it'd be boring—you were gone all night. It's okay if we're not at that place in our relationship yet, Spencer, but you can't tell me you love me in bed one day and the next act like I'm not good enough for your life the next."

Spencer took a second to reply.

"You think you're not good enough for me?"

You shrugged, wrapping your arms around yourself.

Spencer sighed and moved closer to you. "If anyone's not good enough, it's me. You—You are the kindest, most amazing person I know and I am the biggest idiot. When I told you I loved you last night it was nothing but the truth. I was just giving you space because I knew it would've freaked you out."

"I don't get it then," You told him, "Why can't I meet your friends?"

Spencer bit his lip. "A few years ago our Unit Chief's family was targeted by an Unsub. He killed his wife, well ex-wife at the time, in their home with their son in the next room."

"I—Spencer, I'm sorry," You apologised, "I don't know what to say."

"I've watched what it's done to him and his son. I was worried If I told everyone at work about us the same thing would eventually happen to us."

You tried to hide the tears welling in your eyes. Spencer pulled you into his chest, kissing the top of your head.

"I'm so incredibly sorry I made you feel this way, my love."

You sniffled lighty before looking up at him. "I'm just glad I don't have to stay mad at you. It was really hard."

"I can imagine," He laughed. "Do you want some soup?"

"You made my soup?" You asked with adoration in your voice.

"Well, you've been gone all day and I was worried you'd be hungry since it takes the average person at least 3 hours since their last meal to feel the effects of hunger . . ."

You laughed. Even when you were arguing he was thinking about you.

"Well, I'd love some. How about I pour us some wine and you grab the bowls?"

Spencer smiled. "Okay. Not the bottle your co-worker gifted us. I want to take it to Penelope's Halloween party next weekend with us."

You near enough dropped the wine glasses in your hand.

"Us?" You asked, "You want me to come with you?"

"Yeah. I hate that I made you feel invisible in my life, so—"

"I love you."

Spencer gulped. "W-What?"

"I love you," You repeated.

"I love you too," He told you. "We've got to dress up so we'll have to do a last minute costume."

You kissed his cheek. "Leave that with me."

The rest of the night was spent drinking wine and talking as if nothing ever happened.

You finally knew what love felt like.

summary — you try and stay up to greet spencer after he’s been away on a case for five days and fail miserably. however, when his tiredness comes out too, his true feelings are blurted out.

genre — soft/fluff

cw — canonically in season eight, no maeve arc, pet names, little bit angsty at the end, reader is a little insecure

wc — 1k

You had planned it all so well.

Spencer let you know that morning he'd be back sometime in the late evening, which in BAU terms meant no earlier than 2am. So, you ruined your sleep schedule temporarily just to stay up to greet him when he got home. You stayed up as soon as you got his message at 4am ( thanks to the time difference ) until 5pm. You had hoped to last longer, but your eyes betrayed you and you fell asleep curled up on the sofa.

You swore to yourself you'd just shut your eyes for ten minutes, but alas . . . that did not happen.

You had done this routine a few times before when it'd been a particularly long case. Spencer knew you didn't like it when he'd just slip into bed and not wake you, so ever since the first time you screamed bloody murder when you turned to see what you thought was a random stranger in bed with you, he always made sure to wake you up lightly first.

Things have just started getting really serious between the two of you. It'd just passed six months since your first date after he finally asked you out instead of the back-and-forth flirting you guys had been doing at your barista job. He was the perfect guy, truly. Even after you had to leave your apartment a few weeks ago because of a gas leak, he'd opened his door without a second thought.

There was one thing that nagged at you constantly though.

You were yet to meet his friends from work.

He kept saying that it was none of their business and they were all too nosy, but it always felt like more.

Your subconscious thoughts were interrupted by what you thought was a tickle on your forehead.

"Baby?" A soft voice said, kissing your forehead lightly.

Lethargically, you rubbed at your tired eyes and sat yourself up on the sofa. "Spence?"

"Yeah, it's me," Spencer said, sitting himself opposite you on the coffee table. "Did you try and stay up for me again?"

You sighed and smiled timidly. "Yes . . ."

"I told you not to bother since it'd be so late."

"W-What time is it?"

He laughed softly. "It's 4am, baby."

"Oh crap," You laughed back, "Last time I checked it was around five."

"C'mon, let's get to bed," Spencer suggested, slowly coaxing you up from the sofa and guiding you to his bedroom. "Have you washed your makeup off yet?"

You nodded. He smiled at the soft pout your lips were doing due to your exhaustion. Since he was pretty sure he was in love with you, he wasn't about to tell you he'd gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep a day on the case.

He leant on the bedroom door, watching as you tucked yourself into bed. Once you were comfy, you turned to face him.

"How come I've been asleep for eleven hours and I'm still exhausted?" You asked, pushing yourself to sit up against the headboard.

Spencer pushed himself off the doorframe and started undoing his tie. "Well, oversleeping can disrupt your body's natural circadian rhythm. Which leads to the grogginess as you wake up from a deeper sleep."

You smiled. "I'm going to pretend I know what that means."

"Okay," He sighed, not really paying attention as he cracked his neck and perched himself on the edge of the bed.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Spencer! I'm complaining I've gotten too much sleep whilst you probably got none all week . . ."

Feeling horrible, you leaned up and rubbed a loving hand over his back. Spencer kicked off his shoes and laid down, facing you.

"It's okay, my love," He whispered, running his hand over your arm. It was then that you'd noticed he hadn't done his usual night routine.

"You have to shower, Spencer. Otherwise in the morning you'll be annoyed about all the germs you brought into the bedroom like last time," You tentatively reminded him.

Spencer groaned, curling up into the crook of your neck. You stifled a giggle at his five-o'clock shadow grazing against your neck.

"Spence . . ."

He mumbled into your neck. "Five minutes."

Of course, you couldn't say no to him--not when he was being this loving. "Fine, five minutes."

He hummed before throwing his arm over your waist, pulling you closer. "Mhm . . . love you."

You swore you felt your body turn to ice. All the tiredness you once felt a few moments ago completely disappeared at those two words.

Words which you had never said to one another.

"I—uh," You stuttered, completely clueless as to what to say. You peeked down. "Spence?"

All you got in return was light snoring.

Shit.

I mean, did you love him too? Absolutely. However, were you ready to say those words out loud just yet? Hell no.

He wouldn't even let you meet his friends even though he had met all of yours. His breath against your neck was a reminder of what the hell just happened. Do you bring it up tomorrow or not? What's the protocol here?

It's safe to say your mind was going at one hundred miles per hour trying to think of what to do, yet nothing of use was coming up. Before you knew it, five minutes were up, but if you woke him there's the chance he'd remember what he said.

Let's face it, it's Spencer, he remembers everything.

Maybe dealing with his endless rant about all the germs he brought home from the plane since he didn't shower before bed would be worth it this time around.

So, you made an executive decision to do what you do best.

Avoid it.

summary — tensions are high in yours and spencer's apartment as you argue again and he finds comfort in the team, more specifically someone on the team you've voiced your insecurities about to him before.

genre — a lotttt of angst ( i’m sorry )

cw — reader is insecure, jj is kind of not great in this ( love her tho ) , arguments , reader gets hearing aids , spencer is drinking and gets a little tipsy , spencer talks about prison + mexico very briefly, reader is kinda mean to spencer, they’re lowkey toxic in this oops, implied intimacy

wc — 2.8k

previous part — next part

Spencer wasn’t exactly sure how he ended up in a bar.

That’s a lie. He knows exactly how.

You’d finally got your hearing aids fitted earlier in the week. After your semi-breakdown in the bathroom, things had slowly gotten better between you and Spencer. Not great, but better. You’d started to use sign language more and had even met up for coffee with Tara once.

It finally felt like you’d started to get used to your new reality.

Until you got your hearing aids.

They were uncomfortable, itchy and you hated them. Hearing Spencer’s voice for the first time in weeks made it better, but only for a moment. Then the happiness of it all wore off and you were left falling back into the depression you were in before.

This particular argument broke out between the two of you after Spencer got home from work.

He’d been cleared to work and the mandatory six weeks the team were ordered to have off came to an end. You’d had a meeting with Emily earlier that day, to which she decided you weren’t in a good mental state to return to work.

“Hey, baby,” Spencer greeted you, hanging his suit jacket up. “How was your meeting?”

When you didn’t reply, Spencer looked to you. Your back was to him in the kitchen. When Spencer looked down at the kitchen island, he couldn’t hide his annoyance.

He stomped over to you, making sure to walk with power to let you know he was there. You turned to face him and smiled.

Hey, you’re back.

Spencer ignored your sign and picked up your discarded hearing aids off the kitchen side.

Why aren’t you wearing them?

You sighed. This had been an ongoing topic that was causing issues for you two. You hated the hearing aids, whilst Spencer begged for you to wear them.

They’re itchy. I hate them.

Spencer gave them to you and waited for you to put them in like a mother waiting to scold their child. Reluctantly, you placed them on, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling crawling through your ears.

“Happy?” You sighed, turning back to make your tea.

Spencer ran a hand through his hair. “No. Dr. Enid said you need to be wearing them all the time to get used to them. She said they’ll feel—”

“I get it, Spencer, jeez.”

He frowned. “Why are you angry at me?”

“I’m not,” You deflected, turning to face him. “You’re the one being angry.”

“Because you aren’t listening to me!” Spencer exclaimed, flailing his hands around. “We’ve had this conversation so many times and you won’t just keep them in.”

“For God’s sakes, Spencer. You aren’t my doctor, so please stop acting like you are!” You argued.

He scoffed. “Sorry that I love you and I want you to get better. These,” He gestured to your ears, “will help you get better. You have the opportunity to hear again, to go back to work, to live again. I don’t understand why you aren’t trying to take it?”

You couldn’t hide the subtle furrow your brows did when he mentioned work.

Of course, Spencer noticed. “Did Emily say something in your meeting today?”

“I can’t go back to work,” You mumbled, looking away from him. Spencer tilted your face back to him with his fingertips.

“Why?”

You chewed your lip. “She said that I’m not in a good place . . . mentally. And I have to wear the hearing aids if I want to go back.”

“Okay,” Spencer sighed, “So, we find you a good therapist to talk to and—”

“No.”

Spencer shook his head. “What do you mean, no?”

“I’m not seeing a therapist. I’m fine!” You exclaimed.

“You went through something extremely traumatic, there’s no shame in talking to someone,” He explained, “And if you want to go back to the team then you’ll have to at least try.”

“Spencer, just because the bureau made you talk to someone because they were worried you were going to freak out on everyone mid-case doesn’t mean I will. I’m not you, I didn’t go to prison.”

Spencer felt his face drop. The two of you hadn’t spoke too much in detail about his time in prison yet. However, for you to throw it in his face was low.

You didn’t know why you were taking your anger out on Spencer. Truthfully, you were angry at everyone but him. He’d been nothing but patient throughout this whole situation and because you didn’t know how to express how you’re actually feeling, you’re taking it out on him.

You decided to fill the silence. “I, uh—I didn’t mean—”

“You did. That’s why you said it,” Spencer spoke calmly. He turned to grab his suit jacket.

“W-Where are you going?” You asked him, suddenly feeling small.

“I’m going to go out for a while. Maybe once I’ve come back we can talk like two people who love each other and want to be with one another,” He said, making his way for the door.

“Spencer, I’m sor—”

The door slammed in your face.

Fuck.

Spencer somehow ended up in a bar down the street. He hadn’t drank alcohol since before his arrest in Mexico, but right now, he was desperate to have a release.

After a while, he didn’t want to drink alone anymore.

“Hey, you free to grab a drink?” He asked on the phone. “Great, see you in 10.”

He ordered another drink as he waited for her to arrive. Soon after he called, she walked in the bar.

“Hey, Spence,” JJ greeted him. “What’s the occasion?”

JJ sat on the barstool next to him and ordered a drink.

“Uh, just needed a break,” Spencer laughed. “That sounds wrong. I just meant I needed, uh, I—”

“I know what you mean,” JJ cut him off. “Things aren’t going well at home?”

Spencer sighed. “It just feels like we’re going backwards. Everything’s an argument between us and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

JJ sat for a moment. When Spencer called, she had just been leaving the office thanks to the extra paperwork she had to do. Truthfully, she was desperate to be home, but when Spencer suggested a drink . . . she was worried.

Spencer hadn’t ever been a huge drinker, especially after his kidnapping eleven years ago. JJ knew something serious had to be happening to make him go and seek out alcohol.

“Maybe you guys need some time apart,” She suggested.

You and JJ were friends since you joined the team and she ( along with Penelope ) were the most persistent of the team to be with you after Spencer’s arrest. However, she’d known Spencer longer and after all, her loyalties lied with him.

Spencer hummed. “Maybe.”

He couldn’t believe what he was saying. Time apart was the last thing he wanted.

“Does she still have the apartment she was leasing whilst you were in prison?” JJ asked, sipping on her drink.

“I’m not sure,” Spencer sighed, “We haven’t really talked about that time yet.”

JJ couldn’t hide her shock. “You haven’t talked about anything? Not Mexico, not prison, not Ca—”

Spencer turned to face her. JJ sighed.

“She does know it was Cat that set you up, right?”

“Well, the, uh—the opportunity just never came up,” He stuttered.

“Oh, Spence. You have to talk to someone about it all,” JJ told him, “Plus, she deserves to know too.”

Spencer ran a hand through his tousled hair. “It’s just with everything that’s happened, I don’t want to be a burden. She’s struggling to accept the fact she has to wear the hearing aids if she wants to go back to work.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to her about your issues as well, Spence. Relationships go both ways,” JJ reminded him.

“I know, I know,” He sighed, “It’s not her fault, but seeing her lose her hearing kind of made me feel like my problems aren’t that bad.”

“Spencer, you went to prison for something you didn’t do. If that’s not bad I don’t know what is. You know I love her, but if you aren’t happy then maybe it’s time to think about—”

“—About what?” Spencer asked, shocked that JJ was suggesting what he thought she was suggesting. “Breaking up?”

“I—I don’t know!” She said, surrendering her hands. “It was just a suggestion.”

“No! I love her even after everything that’s happened.”

“Okay,” JJ said, “I’m sorry I even suggested it.”

Just as Spencer was about to reply, his phone started ringing. It was you. He looked to the time on his phone, 8pm. Shit. He’d been gone nearly three hours.

He picked up the phone. “Hey, baby.”

“Are you okay? I-I know you’re mad at me, but you’ve been gone a really long time and you didn’t say where you were—” You paused for a moment, listening to the background noise. “Are you at a bar?”

“Uh, yeah. O’Keifs down the road.”

JJ decided to give you two some privacy.

“I’m just going to the bathroom,” She whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder as she passed.

You scoffed on the other side of the phone. “Was that JJ?”

It was then that Spencer realised what he had done. In the start of your relationship, you’d voiced your insecurities about Spencer’s relationship with JJ. You knew you were being silly. After all, JJ had already had Henry by the time you met her. Derek had made a comment about how Spencer used to have a thing for JJ years ago and they’d even been on a date.

Now, Spencer couldn’t help but wonder if a part of his subconscious had invited JJ out of everyone on the team because he was angry at you.

“I just wanted someone to talk to. Listen, I’m coming home now—”

“Got it.”

You hung up the phone.

Spencer knew he royally fucked up. In a frantic state, he gathered all his belongings and turned to the bartender.

“Can you let the woman I was here with know I left?” Spencer rushed out his words. “Just tell her I had an emergency. Great, thanks.”

Without seeing if the bartender even heard him, Spencer made a break for the back door, hoping to get home to you before you got angry enough to storm out the apartment or worse, leave him for good.

You were reading the book Spencer had bought you about the origin of sign language when he came bursting through the door.

Spencer looked around frantically until he set his eyes on you, sat snuggled in a blanket on the sofa. Once he realised you were here, his eyes softened.

“You’re here,” He sighed, stood rigid by the door.

You nodded. “Where else would I be?”

“I-I thought you might’ve left again like the last time we argued badly,” He mumbled.

“Last time?”

He took a deep breath, trying to build up the courage to say what he was feeling. Okay, this is it. The talk.

“Yeah, y’know before . . . Mexico. We’d been arguing about my mom and I came home one day and you weren’t there,” Spencer said, sitting awkwardly at the end of the sofa.

You took in what he said. Was this how he was feeling every time you argued since?

“Spencer, I left because I couldn’t do it anymore and I was mad—”

“You were mad on the phone and earlier.”

You shot him a glare. “That’s different, Spence.”

“Okay . . .” He wondered off. Right about now would be when he’d leave the conversation there and move on, but not this time. “Can you explain why?”

You shut the book in front of you and positioned yourself to face him. “When everything with your mother was happening it felt like I you didn’t care about how it was effecting me—and I know that’s selfish, but it’s how it felt. It went on for months Spencer and I just . . . just needed a minute. What happened earlier was wrong too, I was lashing out, but couples have arguments like that all the time.”

“A minute?” He scoffed, “All of your stuff was gone like you hadn’t even been there. It took you, what? A few hours to pack up and move your shit like we didn’t even matter!”

You weren’t used to Spencer yelling—in fact you weren’t even sure if this was his version of yelling. It was then that you’d remembered he’d been at a bar, drinking for hours.

“Spence, I think you’re a little tipsy. Maybe we should—”

“No!” He exploded, “No, we’re going to talk about this for once. We’re not going to just walk away from it like your hearing aids, work, Mexico, Prison. I’m not doing it.”

“Is this what this is all about? That we don’t talk about your arrest?” Your voice started getting louder, more defensive. “I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to push, Spencer. I figured you’d talk to me about it when you were ready.”

“Well, I’m ready! I’ve been ready for months! Instead, I’ve been trying to help you get better and if you weren’t so goddamn stubborn, then we could get over this part and move on from it. Not to mention, you threw it in my face earlier anyway!”

He was flailing his arms about randomly, placing his head in his hands at the end of his rant. You’d tried to be understanding, but now you were downright annoyed at what he was insinuating.

“So it’s my fault that you haven’t talked to me about prison?” You scoffed.

“I—No, that’s not what—”

“Because I didn’t ask you to do any of this for me, Spencer,” You laughed, standing up and walking over to the cabinet in the corner of the room. “I didn’t ask you to pay for that fancy fucking doctor,” You exclaimed, pulling out the invoice you’d seen weeks ago. “I didn’t ask you to talk to Emily for me—yeah, I know about that. And I certainly didn’t ask you to be here with me.”

Spencer watched your outburst as you stood on the other side of the table.

You scoffed, wiping away your fallen tears. “So, go! I’m sorry that losing my hearing has been hard on you, Spencer. But imagine being the one who actually lost it.”

He walked over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “That’s what the hearing aids are for, baby. And I did all of those things because I love you and it killed me to see you in pain.”

“I hate the fucking hearing aids!” You yelled, “They just remind me that i’m useless to everyone if I don’t have them in. What good is an agent who can’t hear if an unsub is behind her? Or a girlfriend who can’t listen to her boyfriend’s problems unless she has things stuck to her ears!”

Your crying had become more hysterical. Spencer wrapped his arms around you. It felt like deja vu, except this time you were actually making progress. Spencer was just thankful to finally hear what you’re feeling instead of having to guess.

“Shh,” He comforted, “It’s okay, baby. We’ll work it out, I promise.”

“N-No,” You persisted, moving away from his chest. “I’m fine now, okay? Let’s talk about you.”

Spencer shook his head. “Let’s leave it for another time, okay?”

“No, you’re right, Spence. It’s what we do—we avoid. If you want to talk about everything that happened we should and i’m sorry i’ve made you feel like you can’t.”

“I do want to talk about it,” He told you, “But it’s not going to be easy for me to talk about or for you to hear, my love. I want us both to be okay when we get into the ins and outs of what happened and you are not okay right now.”

You sniffled in response.

Spencer smiled at the red flush your nose had now taken on. “So, let’s go relax for tonight. Do you want me to run you a bath?”

You nodded timidly.

“Okay then, I’ll light some candles and put some bath salts in just how you like it.”

He pecked your forehead before turning to head for the bathroom. Spencer got about half way there when you and an idea.

“Do you want to join me?”

Spencer stilled.

Intimacy had been a rough topic the last few months. In the sense that you hadn’t had any. Besides kissing and the cuddles in bed, you and Spencer hadn’t been close in that way since before he went to prison and even then, it was sparse since his mother was living with you.

He turned to face you, his face now the same colour as yours a minute ago. “Y-Yeah, okay.”

“Great.”

“Great.”

After an awkward start, you and Spencer had settled in the bath. Your back was to his chest and if you truly relaxed every bone in your body, you could feel his heartbeat against your back.

This is what you missed.

The normality of it all.

You could stay here forever.

@duchesz @minixmel

summary — you get a bit too drunk at the work christmas party and spencer has to take you home, but you and alcohol clearly don’t mix very well.

genre — soft/fluff + angst

cw — reader is drunk, teeeeeeeny bit suggestive if you squint, spencer is sober, spencer and reader get into an argument at the end bc i can’t write a fic without angst oops, reader mentions her ex boyfriend.

wc — 1.6k

It was all Penelope’s fault.

That’s what Spencer decided.

She’d suggested the team go grab a few drinks after work now that they were hopefully finished for the holidays—if they didn’t get called in. Whilst Spencer isn’t a very big drinker, he still decided to go for an hour.

Until you showed up.

You came rushing in, shivering from the freezing temperatures outside in a black mini skirt with tights and a red long-sleeve turtleneck on. Not to mention the black heels you were walking in too.

Who knew he found turtlenecks sexy . . .

After greeting everybody and grabbing yourself a cocktail, you sat down next to Spencer in the booth you were all sharing.

“Hey guys,” You greeted.

“Pretty girl,” Morgan exclaimed, “How come you’re so late?”

You sighed, leaning forward so he could hear. “I dropped some yoghurt on my top earlier so I nipped home to get changed!”

Morgan smiled and nodded before returning to his conversation with Hotch.

“Hey, Spence,” You said, turning to face him. “What you drinking?”

“Uh—it’s just a club soda. Nothing fancy.”

You offered him one of your loveable smiles. “Are you not drinking tonight?”

“I—no, no I’m not. What about you? What are you drinking?” He asked, wiping the growing sweat on his hands onto his trousers.

“It’s really good, it’s a Bloody Mary. You want a sip?” You asked, holding out the drink to him.

Spencer shook his head. “That’s okay.”

“Oh, sorry! I forgot about the germ thing for a second.”

“No, no don’t worry. Plus, i’m pretty sure i’ll be the one getting Derek home tonight so I best stay sober.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What makes you think that?”

Spencer nodded his head to Derek’s side of the table. 3 empty beer bottles already.

“I see,” You giggled. It was music to his ears. “Well, don’t worry. I’m only planning on having one or two so i’ll keep you company.”

He smiled, all the nerves of the night disappearing. “I’d like that.”

It’s safe to say, that didn’t happen.

After the first drink, you went to head to the bar to order another, but Penelope intersected you on the way.

“You have to come do shots with me and Emily!”

How could she say no?

You had started to form a great relationship with Emily in the few weeks she’s been here since Elle left. Shots seemed like a perfect bonding moment.

. . . Until it wasn’t.

Three rounds of shots and another cocktail later, you were officially drunk. There was zero hiding it.

Spencer clocked it from across the room.

You began swaying on your feet like Bambi and your filter had completely gone. Your laugh ( which Spencer still adored even drunk ) could be heard across the room. It was during the last round of shots that Spencer wandered over.

He came up behind the three of you just as you tossed the last of the shot of vodka down your throat.

You slammed the glass on the table. “Spencer!”

Suddenly, you shuffled over to him, placed both of your hands on his cheeks and pecked his nose. Completely speechless, he stood there as the heat rushed to his face.

“You should do a shot with us!” You exclaimed, only rallying up Penelope and Emily even more. They joined in, agreeing with you.

“No, no! Really, I’m fine,” He protested, pushing away the shot you had grabbed off a tray that the bartender was handing them out on.

“Okay, fine. I’ll do it instead!”

Just as you grabbed the glass, Spencer stopped you.

“Maybe you shouldn’t. Why don’t I take you home?” He suggested, slowly moving the shot glass away from your reach.

You let out an exasperated laugh. “I’m fine! I don’t need to go home!”

“I think you do,” He said, “C’mon, I brought my car I can drive you home.”

It was the pleading look in his eyes that changed your mind. Even drunk you couldn’t resist those puppy eyes and boy did you let him know the whole way home.

“You have such pretty eyes, Spencer. Like a puppy’s.”

“If you were a dog, you’d be a daschund.”

“. . . a really, really, reallyyyyy cute dog.”

After the twenty minute drive back to your apartment, Spencer helped you out the car. He wasn’t entirely sure this was even your building since you struggled to give him directions in the car—you couldn’t form a coherent sentence without going off topic.

Once you were in the building, he leant you against the wall next to what was presumably your apartment.

“Can I have your purse please? I need your keys,” Spencer asked, holding his hand out.

“Are you trying to steal my purse?” You giggled, your voice slowly getting louder. “You’re an officer of the law! You should know better!”

Spencer knew that at any moment one of your nosy neighbours you had mentioned to the team would come out of their apartment to see what’s going on. In a panicked attempt to keep some of his dignity, he pressed his hands lightly against your mouth to keep you quiet.

Your giggles softened as your eyes met his.

You were pressed up against the wall, Spencer towering over you by a few inches. His hand slowly fell from your mouth, pulling on your bottom lip.

He leant in ever so slightly, completely entranced with the flush of red across your cheeks from the alcohol and the haze in your eyes that stopped him from doing what he really, really wanted to do.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside,” He said, pushing away from you. He grabbed your bag whilst you caught your breath and took your key.

You exhaled deeply as Spencer unlocked the door.

What the fuck.

Once your door was open, Spencer guided you in and shut the door behind him. You could still hear every beat of your own heart as you swayed in the middle of your apartment—still tipsy. You could visibly see Spencer take a deep breath, like he was claiming himself down, before turning to face you.

“Uh—okay so,” He mumbled, “Are you going to okay? Or do you need anything . . .”

You drop your bag on the kitchen side. “Have I ever told you about the first time I saw you at work?”

The silence in the room was deafening. Spencer ran a hand through his hair before he shook his head.

“When Hotch was introducing me to everyone, you were in the kitchen making a coffee,” You began saying, “Morgan caught me staring at you. He told me that we’d get along well because we were a similar age. He said you were feeling like the odd one out because you were the youngest.”

Spencer smiled. As much as Morgan annoyed him, especially about his crush on you, he was always looking out for him.

“But I didn’t want to be friends.”

His smile dropped a little.

You kicked off your heels and walked towards him, your height difference now more drastic. You stopped when you were so close that you could feel his breath dusting over the top of your head.

You looked up to him. “I knew I liked you as more from the first look,” You kissed his left cheek. “The first smile,” Then the right. “The first conversation,” then the tip of his nose.

You pulled back, waiting for his reaction.

Spencer subconsciously leant down until your noses were grazing against each other. You could see the turmoil in his eyes. You couldn’t understand why he was holding back, you started to get an inkling he liked you after he spilt coffee on you at work. Plus, Morgan may have hinted at it earlier in the night after a few drinks.

So, you took the plunge.

You kissed him so intensely that he stumbled back until he was against the door. Your hands ran through his chocolate brown locks as his were placed firmly on your waist.

It was pure bliss. You could’ve stayed like this forever, but Spencer had other plans.

“W-Wait,” He said in between kisses. You pulled away from him slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

Spencer wet his lips. “I-I shouldn’t have done that. You’re drunk and I really like you. So, if you’re just going to forget this in the morning then I don’t want it.”

You stepped back, giving him some space. “Spencer, you didn’t do anything. I’m the one that kissed you. And I’m not even that drunk anymore, I know what I’m doing!”

“That’s not true,” He argued, “Alcohol stays in your blood for up to twelve hours and the legal limit until you’re classed as drunk is 0.08%—which you are definitely over.”

You stood in silence for a moment to gather your thoughts. Was this rejection?

Spencer dropped your keys onto the table next to the door. “I-I’m going to go. Please drink some water before you go to bed.”

“What?” You laughed, “You’re just going to leave? I thought you wanted this!”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “Did Morgan tell you something at the bar tonight?”

You shook your head in disbelief. “What?”

“Did Morgan tell you that I’ve been wanting to ask you out since I met you?”

Your face paled.

“Y-Yes, but that has nothing—”

He scoffed. “He is unbelievable.”

You moved closer to him again. “That’s not the reason I kissed you, Spencer.”

“No, alcohol is.”

“No,” You stated, “I told you, I liked you from the first time we ever spoke. But, well, I was in a relationship with Chris a-and I didn’t want to be disloyal to him.”

Spencer sighed. “I’m going to give you some time to think and sober up. If you want to talk, we’ll talk another time.”

Before you could protest again, he quickly opened the door and left as if nothing happened. Now, you were stood in the middle of your apartment, pissed off and confused.

How were you meant to face him again?

summary — after the crash, you get your diagnosis and suddenly the brief happiness you felt faded into distraught. the team and spencer try everything, but your anger is too strong. meanwhile, spencer struggles with adjusting to being back home.

genre — pure angst + hurt/comfort

cw — hospitals, medical jargon, reader is injured, reader lashes out, possible inaccurate medical terms, car crash, spencer’s ptsd

wc — 1.9k

previous part — next part

Who was shaking you?

At first thought, your mind wandered to Spencer. Were you back at his apartment already? It was the same way he used to wake you up on a lazy morning before placing delicate kisses on your forehead.

Only the shaking got more intense.

Your eyes snapped open.

There was a growing ringing sound coming from somewhere.

Rossi was sat in the drivers seat, blood trickling down his cheek as he shook you to wake you up. Everything was coming back to you now. You weren’t home in bed with Spencer, you had been hit by that truck.

In the meantime, Rossi had managed to climb out of the car, clinging onto the side to hold him up. Lethargically, you checked behind you in the backseat. JJ was climbing out the car, clutching her eye in pain and Stephen . . .

Stephen.

He lay there completely lifeless.

You opened your mouth to say his name, but the ringing only got worse. You pressed your hands to your ears, frantically trying to get out of the car. Once you managed to open the door, you fell to the floor in agony. In the distance you saw another car pull up and a familiar silhouette hop out—Penelope.

She walked ( as fast as she could in her heels ) towards you, helping you up off the floor. The ringing only intensified and the pain began setting in. It felt like somebody was poking sharp, tiny needles over and over in your ears.

You looked to Penelope. She was talking to you, but why couldn’t you hear her? Now that you had come to your senses, you realised something.

You couldn’t hear anything.

No-one talking, no car alarms, not the click-clack of Penelope’s heels . . . nothing.

Just pure ringing.

Everyone looked panicked, checking the cars. It then hit you like a brick. You had seen everyone except Emily.

What the hell happened?

Spencer had just sat for a moment when he got the call. He thankfully had gotten his mother into a temporary home for a few weeks until he could find her somewhere better. His mother living with him tore your relationship apart last time and he swore to himself he wouldn’t let it happen again this time around.

He checked the Called ID and it was Matt. Spencer knew your phone would be off whilst dealing with Scratch, so maybe Matt was giving him an update.

Spencer answered the phone. “Hey, Matt—”

“Spencer, you’ve got to get down to Virginia General. There was a collision on the way to the address.”

“What?” Spencer asked, shooting up from his seat. “Is everyone okay? What happened?”

“Me and Garcia think Scratch hacked into the local frequency and shot spikes out to crash the cars and then drive a truck into them. They all seemed okay—just minor injuries. The ambulances have just taken them all now, but Scratch took Emily,” Matt told him over the phone.

As selfish as it sounded, Spencer couldn’t think about Emily right now. All he could think about was you.

“Okay, I’m heading to the hospital now. You and Garcia keep working, I’ll see what I can get from the rest of the team,” He told him, rushing out of his apartment.

Spencer hung up on him before Matt could say anything else. The whole drive there, Spencer couldn’t stop wondering about you. Matt said minor injuries, but who knows?

As soon as Spencer got into the hospital, you were all rushed in a minute later. The paramedics wheeled you all in on stretchers, calling out to the doctors your condition.

“Hey, hey,” He said to you, stroking your hair as the doctors got you into a room.

“Sp…her,” You mumbled.

“Why is she talking like that?” He asked one of the doctors. “Is there any sign of head trauma?”

“Dr. Reid, you need to let us work,” The doctor told him, directing him out the door.

Spencer watched as the team of doctors started taking vitals and hooking you up to IVs. He couldn’t watch anymore. He turned to find the others. JJ was getting her eye patched up, Rossi and Tara were getting checked over whilst Luke was trying to refuse medical treatment.

Close to an hour went by before somebody approached him.

“Dr. Reid?” The doctor asked, “I’m Dr. Janari. I’m your wife’s Doctor.”

Spencer didn’t bother to correct him—in fact he liked the sound of it.

“I—uh, yes. Is she alright?”

“She has a broken rib, but that’s not what’s worrying us. As a result of the whiplash from the crash, she has hearing loss,” Dr. Janari explained.

“Okay, so that’s why she wasn’t making sense. She can’t hear what she’s saying. Is it temporary?” Spencer asked, trying to hide his worry.

“We don’t think so. However, since it’s not because of nerve or sensory damage she’ll be eligible for hearing aids.”

Spencer swallowed his feelings. If he thought too much about the logistics about deafness and what it’s meant, he wouldn’t be able to stay strong for you.

“D-Does she know?” He asked, nervously.

Dr. Janari shook his head. “We figured it’d be best if somebody she trusted tells her. There’s a whiteboard in there for you already. Just be aware that this is going to be very hard for her to understand, so tread lightly.”

Spencer nodded and thanked the doctor.

How was he meant to explain this to you? Even though Spencer knew that hearing aids would restore your hearing, but who knows how long the waiting list would be for an appointment.

He paced over to your room, watching from the doorway as you look out the window with a frown on your face. As if you knew he was here, you turned to face him.

Spencer waved and smiled. You didn’t do either back.

He grabbed the whiteboard left on the windowsill and pulled the chair in the corner closer to you. You offered him a weak smile, still drowsy from the pain medication to help combat the broken rib. Spencer lovingly pushed your hair out of your face as you reached for the whiteboard and started scribbling on it.

What did the doctor say about my hearing? When’s it coming back?

Spencer sighed. He didn’t want to tell you yet. Despite your defeated look, he could tell you were hanging onto that last bit of hope.

He wiped the board clean and began writing.

How are you feeling? Do you need any more meds?

You snatched the board from his hands.

You’re deflecting. What did he say?

Spencer couldn’t look you in the eye. You knew now. The tears started to fall.

“Is…not..cmn…ba?” You said, although you couldn’t hear it.

Spencer shook his head.

You weren’t crying singular tears anymore, it was the most devastating cry Spencer had ever heard. He instantly cradled your head to his chest, trying to muffle the sound of your pain.

JJ and Luke stood in the hallway, watching from afar.

“I gave her the front seat,” JJ told him, her eyes stuck on you and Spencer.

Luke turned to her. “What?”

“If she wasn’t sat there—”

“You cannot think like that, JJ. It’ll kill you,” He reminded her.

She sighed. “I know.”

“Why don’t you stay with Tara? Matt has something on Emily’s whereabouts so I’m going to head back to the office,” Luke suggested.

“Yeah, okay. Stay safe,” JJ told him.

“I will.”

Luke wasn’t sure what this meant for the team, but he sure as hell knew it wasn’t good.

Spencer stayed by you the rest of the time you were in hospital.

The team had managed to find Emily that same night, but Spencer couldn’t bring himself to go help. You barely looked at him all night and just stared at the wall instead, but that was fine with him. He was just happy you were alive.

Finally, you were allowed to come home. Your appointment to discuss the next steps with your hearing aids wasn’t until two weeks away. It would’ve been closer to four months if you hadn’t gone to a private specialist that Spencer payed for ( that, you didn’t know ).

It’d been a few days since you’d been home and to say you weren’t adjusting well would be an understatement.

And neither was Spencer.

He missed the sound of your voice as selfish as it sounded. In prison, all he heard was yelling and guys’ voices and now his apartment was too quiet without the sound of your voice. Now, he had to turn on taps and the fan just to fill the void in his head.

You weren’t sleeping very much. It was late, nearly 11pm when Spencer decided to try again to coax you to bed.

He sat on the ottoman in front of you and tried to meet your eye-line. Over the past few days he had tried to teach you some basic sign language, but you were reluctant.

Sleep?

You just blinked at him.

Tired?

You didn’t move.

Spencer sighed and ran his hands over his face. He understood this couldn’t be easy for you and he tried to not lose his temper, but prison made his fuse a lot shorter.

“Please,” He said, heavily pronouncing his words so you could try and lip-read, “You have to sleep.”

You turned your head to the side like a child throwing a tantrum. Spencer grabbed the whiteboard next to him and scribbled something down.

Come to bed when you’re ready. Wake me up if you need anything.

You looked down at the board and back at Spencer, completely emotionless. Without another word, Spencer headed to the bedroom. This was your reality over the past few days. Spencer tried to communicate with you and you ignore him.

Around midnight, Spencer felt you climb into bed. He tried to sleep, but knowing you were sat in silence, in pain, in the living room made his heart ache. He felt you very timidly curl yourself closer to him and once you’d settled, Spencer wrapped a loose arm around your waist.

Spencer started to stir at some point in the middle of the night and subconsciously reached for you. Only you weren’t there.

Your absence woke him up immediately. Just as he slipped on his slippers, a crash rang out in his apartment from the bathroom. He shot up and paced over to the bathroom, swinging the door open.

You were laid on the floor in the fetal position, cradling your leg. Scattered pieces of glass were around you with a puddle of water next to you.

“Shit,” He exclaimed, trying to sweep away the glass. “Baby, what happened?”

When you didn’t answer, he was reminded once again you couldn’t hear him.

Spencer used the bath towels to place over the broken glass and lightly touched your arm. You were still getting used to using the vibrations instead of your hearing. You felt the vibrations of Spencer’s footsteps. You knew he was there—you just didn’t care anymore.

The tears started falling as you lay there on the floor. Spencer pulled you into his chest, muffling the sound of your cries.

The glass fell?

You stared intensely at his hands, trying to figure out exactly what he was saying. You nodded.

Glass fell. Didn’t hear it and tripped over.

Whilst your sign language was a bit broken at times, Spencer could understand you. After all, you had a great teacher.

I’m sorry, my love.

Your tears didn’t stop as his words, they only got worse. Was this your life now? Being a nuisance and not being able to do anything by yourself?

When did it end?

summary — you finally get the news that spencer's coming home and after rescuing diana successfully, you can finally move on from the horror the last few months have been. until, derek makes an impromptu visit to give the team information on scratch's whereabouts.

genre — fluff, little bit of angst

cw — spencer’s release from prison, brief mention of diana’s kidnapping, some fluffy moments, mr scratch storyline, car crash scene, reader mentioned her deceased brother.

wc — 1.8k

next part

When Emily called you, you didn’t believe it.

Spencer was coming home.

Granted, it wasn’t under the best circumstances with his mother’s kidnapping. You had only seen him once in prison after practically begging Emily to let you go with her. When she’d told you that you weren’t on his approved visitor list, you were rightfully very upset.

After five years of dating, you thought that you could make it through anything. You’d dealt with being targeted by serial killers, people leaving the team and many near break ups over less. So when you saw him for the first time in months, you could only say one thing.

“All I ask is that you make it back to me, okay?”

He’d agreed, apologising for putting you through all of this and convincing you he didn’t commit any of the crimes they said he did.

As much as you hated yourself for it, you didn’t know if you believed him at first.

For months leading up to his arrest, things were rough between you and Spencer. Ever since Diana moved in with you both, things were tense. You love Diana, you really do—you’ve even been visiting her since Spencer’s arrest. However, when the effects of her disease became more troubling, it tore the two of you apart.

The week before Spencer went down to Mexico is when you hit your breaking point.

You had told Spencer you’d head home at lunch to check on Diana. She’d been working with a new nurse, Cassie, but her daughter had a doctor’s appointment that day. Spencer thought Diana was able to stay for a few hours by herself whilst he finished some paperwork, but when you got home it was clear that she wasn’t.

“Diana?” You called out as you stepped into the apartment. She wasn’t in the living room.

You checked the guest bedroom where she was staying, but she wasn’t there. “Diana?”

Suddenly, you heard a crash come from yours and Spencer’s bedroom. You rushed over, stepping over the endless amount of books on the floor. When you opened the door, you swore you actually felt your heart break—which Spencer later told you was impossible.

She was searching through a box, throwing things aimlessly. Broken ceramic everywhere, pictures were ripped up. It was your brother’s belongings. Your dead brother’s belongings that lived in the bottom of the closet.

“Diana!” You yelled, trying to pull her away.

She scratched at your arm. “No! Whose things are these! He doesn’t live here, so who is he?”

You couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks at the sight of his things all smashed up.

“It’s my brothers! Why would you do this, Diana?” You yelled, completely distraught.

“No, no! He’s a spy, you’re lying! You’re a spy, I told Spencer we couldn’t trust anyone!” She yelled, running her hands through her short hair.

When you finally calmed her down after many tries and called Spencer to come home, he apologised on her behalf and comforted you as you cried over your brother’s things. But the damage was already done.

You moved out that weekend.

Spencer got arrested the next day.

Whilst you hadn’t officially broken up at the time, you were living apart. After his arrest and sentencing, you took a leave of absence from work. How were you meant to go about your job as if the love of your life wasn’t in prison?

Emily kept you updated and the team came to visit with home cooked meals and movies to watch, but you had more or less isolated yourself from them.

So, when you got the call you were over the moon.

Needless to say, you rushed to the BAU without grabbing anything other than your keys. It turns out, Spencer had told Emily not to call you until they found Diana since he was worried seeing you would distract him. If you weren’t so happy he’d just been able to get out, you’d be furious at him for making her do that.

The elevator ride felt excruciatingly long. You hadn’t stepped foot in this building since his arrest and quite frankly, you didn’t want to. However, if it meant seeing Spencer again, you’d do anything.

The doors opened and you stepped out. Through the glass doors you could see him. His hair was longer and you could even see a difference in the way he stood, almost as though he was on edge. JJ said something to him and he turned to face you. The second your eyes locked, all your stored away anger disappeared.

You swung open the doors and ran straight into his arms, unable to hold back the tears that fell.

“You’re home,” You said in between deep breaths.

“I’m home,” He replied, still not letting go. When you pulled back, you skimmed over his face to make sure he was real and that this nightmare was finally over.

Spencer smiled and turned to the rest of the team. “This is Matt Simmons, he helped the team get me out.”

Without even thinking, you hugged this random stranger. Matt was shocked at first, but then you whispered a timid ‘thank you’ in his ear. You pulled back and gave a hug to the rest of the team.

“We’ll give you guys a minute,” Rossi said. The team followed after him to give you some space. However, Emily headed straight for her office.

“I missed you so much,” You told Spencer, pulling him in for a kiss.

He cupped your jaw, trying his best to keep the kiss office friendly, but he failed miserably. He hadn’t kissed you in months and sometimes the thought of doing it again would get him through his days in prison. Everytime he felt like giving up, he’d remember your smile and the way you laugh to keep him sane.

“How’s Diana? Is she okay?” You asked, pulling away from his lips. “I should’ve checked on her more often—”

“No,” Spencer interrupted, “Don’t blame yourself. She’s fine, she didn’t have much of an idea of what was going on. I couldn’t ask you to go check on her after she destroyed Finn’s things.”

You felt your eyes soften. “I did a few times and she seemed okay. She asked after you a lot and I told her you were on a case. I couldn’t stay angry for long, not when I knew that’s how we left things before . . . you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Spencer sighed, ducking his head in shame. “I know you have questions and I don’t know if I can—”

Suddenly, Emily interrupted you both.

“We have something on Scratch,” She told you. “We could do with the extra manpower if you’re up for it. If you guys just want to go home I completely understand after everything.”

You turned to Spencer. You knew he wouldn’t be reinstated for a while so he was out of the equation, but you could help.

“Go,” Spencer encouraged, “I’ll go take my Mom home and make a few calls to get her into a facility again. I’ll be there when you get back.”

“Thank you,” You replied, kissing his cheek.

That was what made you and Spencer so compatible—you both knew how important work was to your relationship. You squeezed his arm and kissed him lightly on the lips one last time, as if he was going to disappear, and turned to make your way to the conference room.

“All I ask is that you make it back to me, okay?” He repeated your words back to you.

You smiled and looked over your shoulder as you walked. “I will.”

If only you knew.

It was great to see Morgan again after all these years.

You had called him a few times especially after Spencer’s arrest, but you had yet to visit him and Savannah since he left the team. However when he gave you and the rest of the team the information about Scratch’s whereabouts, you could’ve cried when you realised it was serious. For once in your career, you were praying it would’ve been work you could’ve done from the office.

All you wanted to do was go home to Spencer, but now you had to track down Scratch once and for all.

You and the team made your way down to the SUV’s, chatting amongst each other.

“How you feeling?” Luke asked you.

You smiled. “Good. Better now I know this whole nightmare is almost over.”

“It’s not over yet,” Stephen cut in, “You’ve still got to get through Rossi’s driving.”

Everyone laughed ( except Rossi, of course ).

“Hey!” He said, shoving Stephen lightly.

“Okay guys,” Emily said, stopping in front of the two SUV’s. “Let’s go get this bastard once and for all. Dave, Stephen, JJ go in one car. Me, Luke and Tara will go in the other.”

Emily turned to you. “You get your choice of driver.”

“I guess I should probably see if Rossi’s driving has gotten worse since I’ve been gone,” You decided, laughing at his offended face.

“Great,” Emily laughed. “It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back.”

With that being said, you all hopped in the cars. Stephen offered to let you or JJ go in the front, but JJ passed it to you so you could ‘feel the real Rossi effect.’

Driving with the team again felt like second nature—like you were home. As you approached the location Derek had given you, Spencer entered your mind. How was your life going to look after this? You thought you’d have a little bit longer until his trial to prepare for his return. Now, it was hitting you that Spencer wasn’t going to be the same. The things he’d experienced in prison didn’t just stop at those walls, he’d bring that trauma home with him.

You also hadn’t had a chance to ask him about who set him up in the first place. You were a profiler after all, if he was out of prison then that meant the team had enough evidence to prove he was framed.

Emily was on call from the other car, chatting about the plan.

“I know we want this son of a bitch’s head on a platter, but SWAT has to clear every single room before we step foot inside.”

JJ voiced her concern. “Well have they been briefed? This guys traps have traps.”

“That’s an understatement,” You added.

Rossi shook his head. “The whole house could be a trap.”

“Or a waste of our time so he can get away,” Stephen added from behind Rossi.

“Well, whatever it is, he’s going to try and take us by surprise so we have to be ready for anything,” Emily told them through the phone.

Out of nowhere, spikes sprung out from either side of the road, sending the two cars swerving until they were more or less facing each other. When the cars finally stopped spinning, you all groaned and looked around to make sure everyone was okay.

“Everyone alright?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, we’re fine Em,” You replied, trying to stretch the pain out in your neck.

“Good.”

You stared out of Rossi window, squinting when a sudden bright light lit up the car.

“Hey, what is that—”

Everything went black.

@duchesz

summary — you finally accept that this is your life now and attempt going back to work. only, it was a lot harder than you'd thought especially since you can no longer ignore the way spencer's been acting recently.

genre — fluff ( finally!! ) , some hurt/comfort

cw — spencer agrees to talks about prison + mexico, reader struggles at work fitting back in, set in 13x6 The Bunker, follows the general storyline of that ep loosely, probably very inaccurate medical talk about hearing loss and hearing aids, implied intimacy

wc — ( sorry it’s short ) 1k

previous part — next part

This is it.

You were going back to work. Well, into the field.

After many meetings with Emily, she let you come back to the office just to do paperwork and help Penelope out from Quantico. Finally, after 3 weeks of desk work, Emily’s letting you go out into the field for the first time.

“You okay?” Spencer asked, watching your silhouette get up from bed. “It’s 5am.”

He watched as you grabbed your hearing aids from the beside table and looped them on. He was working on breaking the habit of speaking as soon as you got up.

“Baby?” He repeated. You turned to face him and smiled.

“Yeah?” You whispered.

Spencer flicked his bedside lamp on. “It’s 5 in the morning. We don’t have to be at work until 9:30.”

“I-I know, but I want to get in early. Y’know prepare for my first week back in the field.”

“We might not even have a case today—”

Beep.

You looked down at your phone. A text from Penelope.

So sorry my loves we have an urgent case, Em wants us at the office by 6!!!!!! — Pen x

Spencer groaned.

“C’mon, let’s get ready,” You laughed, pulling his arm as he jokingly played dead.

Things were starting to get back to normal with you both now. No more arguments, no more disagreements about the hearing aids . . . nothing. You’d even had sex last night for the first time since before Spencer’s arrest and it was everything you’d hoped for—gentle and loving.

However, Spencer was still yet to talk about it all. You’d tried bringing it up once or twice in conversation ( especially after he was told he’d have to have mandatory time off every 3 months ) , but he always dodged the questions you’d ask. As awful as it sounded, a fucked up part of you was happy he’s not talked about it. You didn’t know if you could handle hearing about Mexico after learning about Cat’s involvement.

That’s right, you knew now.

You’d overheard Luke and Tara talking about it a few days ago in the kitchen. The you from a few months ago would’ve screamed and demanded answers from Spencer, but in the spirit of moving on, you’d left it up to him to tell you about.

Which he still hadn’t.

And he probably never would.

Doomsday preppers.

A great first case back.

Everything had been going fine until you, Spencer and JJ headed down onto the bunker. The second those doors sealed shut and the alarm started blaring, your ears starting ringing—exactly how they had the night of the accident.

Suddenly, you were back there, clinging to your ears as you fell to the floor in agony. Now, you were doing the exact same thing. You clicked onto your ears, ripping off your hearing aids. The ringing started to subside slowly.

Spencer turned to you and signed.

Are you okay?

You nodded.

Physically, you were fine. Mentally, not so much. Incidents like this were what was worrying you. Would this happen every time a gunshot went off? Or every time there’s an explosion? Would Emily take you off the team if she knew?

You looked to Spencer. He was watching JJ try to punch in 4 digit codes. He looked . . . panicked. Not the normal amount anyone would feel on this situation, more skittishly panicked.

Once the ringing had completely gone, you placed your hearing aids back in. Tentatively, you placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder and he flinched.

“Sorry,” He mumbled.

Now wasn’t the time, you knew that, but this confirmed everything.

Spencer wasn’t okay. And it’s time you talk about it.

Finally, after so much paperwork, you and Spencer could head home. Both of you hated driving, so you often frequented the metro instead.

Hand in hand, you both huddled into his apartment, hanging up your coats and scarfs next to one another. Your brown boots sat next to his dirty converse, your red tartan scarf hung next to his purple one and your matching woolen hats that Penelope had crocheted you sat on top of each other.

“Do you want thai food tonight?” Spencer asked, making his way into the kitchen. “We could order from the place on Jefferson—your favourite.”

“Mhm.”

Spencer turned around to face you. You were still stood near the door, anxiously scratching at your wrist like you always did. He moved back over to you and gently pried your nails away.

“Honey?” He asked, “What’s wrong?”

You snapped out of it. “What?”

“You’re scratching your wrist, what’s wrong?”

You dropped your head. You didn’t want to have this conversation.

“The case today . . .”

Spencer nodded slowly. “Oh-kay . . . it was your first one back. Do you feel okay?”

“Do you feel okay?” You asked. Spencer’s face dropped a little. “I-I mean I saw your face down there.”

“I’m fine,” Spencer excused, “Really.”

“You sound like me.”

Spencer scoffed. “I know how to handle my feeling, okay? I go to therapy—”

“Because the bureau makes you.”

He glared at you. “I am fine!”

“If you’re fine then why haven’t you told me about Cat?” You blurted out.

Spencer swore he felt his heart stop.

“What?”

You signed. “I overheard Tara and Luke talking a bit ago. I know Cat was behind your arrest and Diana’s kidnapping . . . why didn’t you tell me?”

Spencer paved back and forth. “I-I don’t want to talk about this now, okay? Let’s just forget about it a-and order takeout and—”

“Spencer!”

He stopped.

“I love you and I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me this past year. But I need you to be honest about your pain. My pain is long from over, I know that, but let me look after you now.”

Spencer stood opposite you, tears welling in his eyes. You delicately wiped his tears away. He took one deep breath and nodded.

“Okay.”

You smiled. “Okay?”

“Mhm,” He mumbled, “Let’s talk.”

Fucking finally.

@duchesz @minixmel @reidswifeyyyyyy