#joseph07

It only took a single phone call for him to drop everything.

No other means of transportation existed for Levi save for calling a taxi but he had no time for that. He'd rather walk-- in this case, take a hurried rush to the hospital he's been given: the hospital where Joseph has been admitted into. This is bad. Any hospital visit is bad-- but for what, he wonders. A broken limb? Something worse? Thoughts raced through Levi's mind, undisturbed by outside stimulation. Undistracted and relentless, he makes it to the hospital within a few dozen minutes of the initial call. In Levi's mind, walking was much faster-- in retrospect, waiting for a taxi would have been a quicker alternative. Still, the thought of sitting idle by while he hasn't the slightest clue what happened or if he's even going to be alive by the time he makes it to the hospital.

Scenarios play in his mind on an endless string of possibilities. Was he mugged? Was he hit by a truck? Did he get some sort of food poisoning? Shot? Attacked by a wild animal? Shit. These thoughts won't go away. They just won't. No matter how hard he tries to believe that the worst is only a possibility, a restless mind convinces himself that the very possibility is high. Too high for comfort.

Thoughts like those were allowed to twist around in his mind for the countless hours he sits in waiting. A mindless, mechanical exchange between visitor and receptionist had taken place just moments sooner. Levi's ability to keep his outer shell cool came in handy. No freak-outs. None outwardly, anyways.

Aside from the usual, something else was mentioned and explained. He's not ready to be visited, the receptionist on duty told him. He's in surgery. The outcome is unknown-- he says that he was losing blood rapidly, that he required immediate medical attention. Those possibilities in his mind all heightened in likeliness, and as a result he sits restlessly and nauseously in the waiting room.

Patients and patrons came and past in those stockpiled hours. The brief distractions of patrons and staff entering and exit occupied Levi's mind between bout after bout of humored disasters. Behind a cold exterior lies a wriggling, paranoid maggot. It squirms and writhes behind a protective shell, afraid, worried for what is happening on the outside, for what is unknown to it until it is allowed to crawl out of its cocoon as a superior self, free to explore the world without fear. This maggot knew no such luxury-- a cocoon encases him perpetually. A worm like him could not know unconditional freedom. He must stay behind a protective stoicism, fearing only from within the circumstances the outside has in store for him. Unlike a moth or a butterfly, whose existence bears beauty and usefulness, a fly's existence, without any sense of defense or protection, is to merely run away.

It took the doctor a few repetitions of his name to grab the young man's attention. Silvers flickered upwards, expression as cold as ever despite his endless paranoid bouts. When beckoned, Levi stands and follows the doctor. In time he is led into one of the rooms, the very room that housed his heavily battered fiance. Another repetitious exchange between patron and staff took place, and with the younger male already having received the proper medication and post-surgical treatment he is left alone, the assisting nurse staying behind for monitoring purposes. 

Because of these factors, Levi could not let these worries reach light. Even when his partner lies unconscious on the hospital bed, his arm from the forearm down completely gone, various bandages poking out from the hospital garbs suggesting injuries around the chest area, a heavily beaten face... even when seeing the one he cares the most for in such a pathetic state...

Levi could only hide behind a cold shell. 

The nurse offers her condolences. Levi is unresponsive, simply pulling over an available chair and sitting down. Silence. Words could not dare to spill from his lips. Not with a bystander in his presence-- though her presence is very heavily needed, he could not benefit thereof. After all, a maggot has to stay hidden, protected from anything that could become a predator.