#jonesmoore

Brandon looked up from his place on the couch. He was awake. Mostly. He just didn’t have a reason to get up. That’s obviously why he hadn’t ventured from the couch yet. It definitely wasn’t physical or emotional exhaustion.

“I know that,” he replied, not moving from his spot.

“I’ve been texting you for the last hour.

“Why are you even here, Ben? Don’t you have better things to do?” Brandon said, standing up and starting to fold the blanket over the back of the couch.

“Not really,” Ben said, hoping that Brandon would turn around.

“Then you are less busy than I thought.”

“No, there just isn’t much more important than this.”

Brandon sighed, looking down at himself.

“I’m okay, Ben, I promise.”

He had slept on his couch last night. And the night before. He had tried, but he couldn’t lay there without thinking of how Huber and Brad had been there.

“You think this is what “okay” looks like?”

“You don’t get it,” Brandon snapped.

“Ooh, I don’t get it?!” Ben replied, almost yelling. “Of course I get it. I see it as clearly as you do. And it hurts!”

Brandon spun back around and looked Ben in the eyes. He forgot that Ben was taller than him.

Before Brandon could speak, Ben continued, a touch softer. “I can deal with my pain. But I can’t watch you run yourself into the ground. I care about you, Brandon. That is why I’m here.”

Brandon took a deep breath. “You’re dealing in your way. I’m dealing in mine,” Brandon said, hoping Ben would understand and leave.

“You’re not dealing at all!”

“I’m not being your rebound,” Brandon snapped, turning to glare back at Ben.

“You’re not,” Ben stated immediately.

“Then what am I?” Brandon said, voice getting steadily louder.

Ben froze, deep in thought for a moment while he found his words. He said them like an indisputable truth. “You’re important.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means I care about you as much as I care about them. As much as I care about her.”

The anger vanished from Brandon’s body as fast as it had built. He couldn’t find words of his own and stood and watched as Ben blushed across his face and down his neck.

“What?”

“You don’t see it?” Ben asked, stepping forward, now firmly within Brandon’s space. Brandon doesn’t know what to say. “Don’t see where this is going? How much Brad and Huber feel about you? How Kyle and Ian feel about you?” He paused, looked away for an instant before locking his eyes back on Brandon. “How I feel about you?”

The moment hung in the air, waiting for something.

Brandon slumped on the couch, exhaustion ebbing at his muscles. Ben sat down beside him with equal heaviness.

Ben dropped his head into his hands. “This is going somewhere, Jones. At least, I think it i- thought it was. God I- I feel like I’m going crazy,” he said, voice edging toward hysterical.

Brandon laid his hand on Ben’s back, gently holding his shoulder.

“You’re not going crazy,” Brandon finally said. Ben’s head shot up, staring back at Jones. “I know exactly what you mean. I thought- I - I thought I was the only one who felt it. It’s just that-the others are paired off.  And its no secret that you’re in love with Ian. I figured that left me out of whatever that was going to be.”

Ben smiled. “Aren’t we all a little in love with Ian?”

Brandon laughed, the first real laugh in days. “Ain’t that the truth.”

“And Huber’s magnetic,” Ben said lightly, finding an appropriate way to describe an indescribable person.

“Brad’s loyal, genuine, funny,” Brandon said.

“And Kyle’s…” Ben started, searching for a way to explain his affection.

“Kyle.” Brandon said. That was it. Kyle was Kyle. There was no one else like him.

“He’s driven and thoughtful and creative,” Ben said fondly.

“Ben,” Brandon started warily, warning to choose his words carefully. “I don’t- I don’t get it. Why me? Huber and Brad are the perfect couple. Kyle and Ian have had chemistry from the moment they met. I’m six years older than Ian. I’m a decade older than you.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m old and boring and -”