#johnpaullarkin

Dear Hatman and Scatman,

           Or should I say Lou Bega and John Paul Larkin? On second thought, I think Hatman and Scatman really sum it up. I just want to say “hats off” for releasing a collabo called “Scatman and Hatman” between two of the greatest artists to blare out of the Wildwood Boardwalk speakers two decades ago! Sheer ba-dop-ba-da-dop-brilliance. Hats off, Hatman. Scats off, Scatman.

           I do have one question for the Hatman though…was the Scatman even involved in this video? Have you two ever been in the same room together? Could you ACTUALLY be the same person? I only ask because you DO both wear hats, and all of the Scatman’s footage is from his original video. The lyrics do begin with “Scatman and Hatman travel in time!” but to be honest it only looks like the Hatman is actually travelling in time, as Scatman is exactly how he was in the 1995 hit video from the critically acclaimed* (if it wasn’t, it SHOULD be) album “Scatman’s World”.

             The sheer idea that one of you in the future and one of you in stock footage form could collaborate makes my adolescent heart (now stuck in a 35 year old woman’s body) skip a be-ba-bop-ba-dop-beat. Both of your songs ruled the Wildwood Boardwalk in the late 1990’s! I remember being stuck on the Tilt-A-Whirl because the ride operator Ricky had a crush on my Aunt Roe. The whole 45 minutes was a blur of “Ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop” and “A Little Bit of Tina by my side!” At one point, Ricky would just chime in on the PA system when any woman’s name was said and replace it with “Roe!” It would’ve been more charming were we not on the verge of puking after leaning to the left on turns for almost a full hour.

           I think you did a really nice job of bringing the song into modern times with the second line- “Scatman & Hatman going online!” And by “you”, I mean “Hatman” because you had to write all of the lyrics. Or maybe you and Scatman sat down in a hat factory (or a scat factory? …I hope it wasn’t that one) and penned the words? Perhaps Scatman is being followed too closely by the government and has a new face (I bet he kept the same hat!), and this is the reason he didn’t want to appear in the video. I mean, in 1995 I honestly didn’t know either of you wore hats because that was before the golden age of the Internet. If only I paid more attention to The Box when someone paid $1.99 via phone to request your feel-good-videos-of-the-summer-I would’ve clearly caught on that you were both “hatman’s”!

            I’m sorry if I seem to be focusing more on the Hatman here, Scatman. I know this is an open letter to be-ba-bop-ba-dop-both of you, but I’m really not sure you exist based on the fact that I’ve only ever seen you in that video from 1995. I really would’ve liked to see you scatting in a nice hat in this new video. I mean, the original video is a CLASSIC so maybe you were thinking “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” and I get it, believe me. Who can touch lyrics like “The stutter and the scat is the same thing.” Easily the coolest stance on speech disorders TO DATE. Not to be overlooked for your political stance in the lyrics, “Why should we be pleasin' all the politician heathens who would try to change the seasons if they could?” If you decide to come out of hiding, the 2020 elections are coming up and you’d make a great campaign manager!

           Before I let you go (because I’m pretty sure only the Hatman will actually see this), I do have one more question for you, the Hatman- did you think of having a hat counter in the corner of any of your videos? It would be a logical move to have one in everything you do from here on out, and that might be a cool way to incorporate present-day Scatman in future projects! Maybe he can scat the number of hats he sees in the corner of the screen? Imagine how cool it would be to hear him say “Three-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop!” after the third hat is shown! If it seems like a good idea to you, it’s all yours- royalty free-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop!

           I hope you didn’t take offense to my hat-counter idea, Hatman. This truly is a love letter to both of you (please pass this along to the Scatman, Hatman- as I’m sure he’s not reading this) patting you on the hat…I mean scat…I mean skee-ba-bop-ba-dop-back for bringing together two icons of my childhood- I can’t hear either of your songs without imagining myself spinning backwards on the Himalaya, and I thank you from the be-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop-bottom of my heart for that.

           Yours in Hats,